MY SEXY TIPS FOR GUYS AND GALS:
TRIM THE TRUNK: This means no trouser forest, no bad breath, and no body odor. Shave, trim, shave, trim, brush, and shave again. Although I like my men rough and rugged, this doesn’t mean stinky, sweaty, or hairy! Invest in a good trimmer (Andis is a great brand) and shave with the Gillette Fusion (five blades). No beating around the bush, boys. Shave those balls until they are silky smooth. I personally love balls in my mouth when they are hairless. You can neatly trim the rest of the hair above your member without going full porno shave, but if this is your first time trimming the hedges, you will notice that your cock looks bigger the more you trim, and who doesn’t love that?
SMELL DELICIOUS: Scent is such a powerful aphrodisiac and it’s not relied upon enough. When sexy cologne is mixed with your natural pheromones, your girl is bound to get even more turned on. You don’t need to buy expensive fancy cologne, but putting in a little effort for her senses will really show you care. I like old-school manly-man scents such as Old Spice, Drakkar Noir, and Fahrenheit. Newer colognes that rock my world, though, are Prada, Serge Lutens, and Gucci Rush.
DIRTY MOUTH? CLEAN IT!: I know I don’t need to remind you guys of this, but brush those teeth regularly, use mouthwash, and always carry Listerine pocket strips. You never know when you might hook up. Don’t chew gum, because it might tire out your mouth, and you need to save energy for marathon pussy-eating.
EAT OUT: Pussy eating, cunnilingus, going down, dining at the Y… call it whatever you want, but make sure you pay extra attention to the details down there. The clitoris is the woman’s pleasure button, so press it, lick it, flick it, nibble it, tease it, bite it (gently), rub it, blow on it, tickle it, suck it, and spell the alphabet on it with your tongue and look for her reaction. When you hear her moan, she is telling you that you are doing something right. So do it some more. Fingers are a great accompaniment to eating pussy, but sometimes less is more. Tease her and make her want it. Don’t go deep or hard until she begs you. Do not treat a girl’s nether regions like they are beef jerky. Do follow her lead, ask her what she likes and what she wants. We don’t expect you to know everything, but you should know the basics.
TOY WITH ME: Sexually liberated women of the millennium have their stash of dildos, pocket rockets, and even porn. However, it is such a turn-on when you guys acknowledge our need to explore and bring us home a surprise. Candy and flowers are still good. Champagne and diamonds, even better. But bringing home a good sex toy like a pair of fur-lined handcuffs, warming lube, a powerful vibrator, or a big fat dildo can totally energize a woman for marathon sex sessions. Advanced toys to buy: Anal love beads and graduated butt plugs can take you to new heights, but don’t forget the lube (Eros brand lube is my fave).
SPLURGE ONCE IN A WHILE: Girls love to be spoiled. A spoiled girl is a turned-on girl, and a turned-on girl likes to put out for her man. If you’re not sure what to get your lady, I have three suggestions for some high-end goodies: sexy lingerie (try my own brand, Mistress Couture, but Agent Provocateur rocks too), high heels (try Giuseppe Zanotti or Christian Louboutin on for size), and a glamorous dress (Dolce & Gabbana or Herve Leger are two of my faves). If your lady feels sexy, she will be sexy, and that’s a win-win for both of you.
GET ADVENTUROUS: The best way to spice up your sex life is to be open to new adventures. Try having sex in spontaneous places—fuck her in your car, fuck her in the dressing room at the mall, fuck her in the fancy hotel room you surprised her with, fuck her any place she hasn’t been fucked before. And don’t forget to take her to sexually charged environments like swingers’ clubs, strip clubs, or fetish bars.
TAKE CONTROL: When it comes to sex, the woman usually holds all the cards and has the power to give sex the green light. You’ve got the pussy power. We decide if, when, where, and how it is going to go down. So use that power wisely. Tell your man exactly what you want. Men are not mind readers, but the good ones take direction well. Let them know when you are wet and horny. Make them pull that car over to fuck you then and there.
DRESS TO IMPRESS: Whether it’s a first date or someone you are shacked up with, you should always dress to impress. Invest in good lingerie that fits well. (Stay away from “one size fits all.” It doesn’t.) Try Agent Provocateur, and of course, my very own private label, Mistress Couture. If you look sexy, you feel sexy and if you feel sexy, well then you are sexy! Trust me, knowing you have crotchless panties on under your business suit or jeans will put a little extra pep in your step. Also, heels not only add a few inches, but they also lift your booty, improve your posture, and lengthen your legs. So, leave the shoes on, ladies, especially when you are going to do some standing doggy!
GET CREATIVE: As much as many men love their partner to be nothing more than a fuck doll who gets tossed around, it is good to have a few tricks up your sleeve. Go back and reread the section on page 66 on sexual positions or watch my porn to get some visual tips and tricks. For example, reverse cowgirl in front of a mirror not only gives you G-spot stimulation, but gives your man a full view of your beautiful body. You may not want to try compromising positions like a pile driver on your first date.
KITTY GROOMING: A well-groomed kitty is a happy kitty. Whether you want to go bald with a full Brazilian wax job or leave a California landing strip, a nice presentation of your private parts is important. The pros prefer to wax, andI personally get waxed monthly at the Honey Suite in Sherman Oaks, California, where the lovely Dana cares for my kitty. Before an on-camera sex scene, it is common courtesy for the girl to douche before being intimate. The same should go for off-camera sex. It keeps you feeling fresh and smelling good and will encourage your man or woman to go down on you all night long. Another trick of the trade: always use an enema before anal sex. It will provide you the confidence to really let go.
GO FOR IT: Overcome your sexual inhibitions. Be a flirt, watch porn, have a threesome, try anal sex, or have a one-night stand. Experiment with public sex, give good phone sex, do a girl, kiss strangers…. Whatever you do, just be safe and be sexy! It is the only life you have, so go out and live it to the fullest. Tell ’em Tera said so!
AFTERWARD…
“SLEEPING BEAUTY WAKES UP”
10/12/09
Well, I never thought I’d be writing this chapter. Over the course of putting together this book over the past year, a lot has changed. And the biggest change is that I am no longer with Evan. You probably already know this, as I announced I was divorcing him in September. Oh boy, did our haters have a field day with that news. But it’s OK. When my writer, Carrie, and my editor asked me if I wanted to rewrite the book in light of this postdeadline development, I told them no. I meant everything I said and my feelings, thoughts, and ideals were all real at the time. I meant every word of it and I have no regrets. Even though one decision I made early on—the one to let him get into porn—is what ultimately ended my relationship with Evan, I don’t even regret that decision. Let me explain.