Monkey's teeth writhed back, jeering. "I should expect your kind to think so."
"Well, yes, we do have a certain vested interest in human life. But maybe that's why Buddha assigned you to this monk."
Monkey frowned. "Why, how is that?"
"To learn Buddha's morality." Shea realized that he must be crazy, talking about Buddha as though the sage were still alive, and were something more than a myth—but maybe he was, in this universe. After all, his first trip by syllogismobile had taken him to a universe where the Norse gods were real. Anyway, he had to talk to Monkey on the beast's own terms. "Didn't he say anything about why you were supposed to go with the monk?"
Monkey glowered. "Something, aye."
"Was it Buddha who turned you into stone, too?" Mind you, Shea did not believe for an instant that something so alive as Monkey could really be made out of stone ...
... or maybe he could. After all, each universe had its own physics, its own principles. Why could not a living creature be made of stone? Maybe, to Monkey, Shea seemed odd, being made of soft tissue.
"Nay," Monkey said. "I was born so—if 'born' is the word for it."
" 'Hatched,' maybe?"
Monkey stared. "How did you know?"
Now Shea stared. "You don't mean you came out of an egg!"
"Aye.' Monkey sat down on his heels, grinning. "When the world was made, O Foolish Barbarian, there was made with it a huge egg of stone. For eons it stood, alone and waiting; then finally, when men had appeared upon the Earth, that egg broke open, and out tumbled myself—the Stone Monkey."
Shea tried to keep the look of disbelief off his face. After all, if monkeys could talk here, why couldn't one have hatched out of a stone egg? "How did you become king of the monkeys?"
"Shortly after I wakened, a band of them came tumbling along, playing as they went. They told me I was one of them, and brought me to look in a still pool. I saw that I was a monkey, too, and went with them a while—but I learned how sore beset they were, by tiger and by wolf, and began to wonder how to make them sale. Then, one day, we came to play near a Water Curtain ..."
"A water curtain?"
"A sheet of water that fell from a great height, fool! I wondered what lay behind that veil, and plucked up my courage to leap through it. I find myself here, on this mountain of eternal spring, then leaped back through the veil, to find them mourning me. They rejoiced to see me still alive, and followed me through the Water Curtain—with some trepidation, it must be admitted, but with willingness to follow. When they saw how rich and safe a place I had provided for them, they made me their king."
"Sounds great." Shea frowned. "But so far, I don't see anything Buddha should have punished you for."
"Nay. That came later, after some years, when I had begun to chafe at my life here, and to find it growing tedious. I wished to learn more of the world, and I wished to learn how to keep my monkeys safe from the occasional bear that stumbled through the Curtain. I heard of a sage in the south, the Patriarch Subodhi, who could teach me magic, so I departed from my little monkeys and went to him."
"Studying magic?" Shea frowned. "I begin to see possibilities for mischief."
"I assure you, I was the best-mannered of monkeys! The Patriarch took me as his disciple, and I studied as hard as, or harder than, any of the others. At last I came to so much knowledge of the Way of Virtue that he gave me a name-in-religion—I am the disciple Aware-of-Vacuity."
"Vacuity?" Shea frowned. "Why is it important to become aware of emptiness?"
"Because until you know that you are empty, you cannot begin to be filled. But I, having reached this stage, desired to demonstrate for my fellow disciples how much I had learned—so I displayed all the marvels that I could now work, as a result of the Patriarch's teaching."
A show-off, Shea realized. "I take it the Patriarch didn't like that too much?"
"Nay, he cast me out from his presence." Monkey grinned again. "Why should I care? I had learned the magic I sought. I came back to my mountains, and found my little monkeys sorely beset. I chased away the wild beasts and taught them Mock Combat, so that they would be able to practice Real Combat, if it ever became necessary—as it has, many times since."
"I take it you were planning to go on your travels again."
"Aye, for it is the way of monkeys to become easily bored. I flew to beset the Dragon of the Southern Ocean, defeated him, and exacted tribute from him ..." Monkey brandished his cudgel. "... this iron staff, that can grow amazingly when I wish it."
"Correct me if I am wrong," Chalmers said slowly, trying to hide his impatience, "but I thought dragons were heavenly creatures, in Chi ... in this country."
"They are." Monkey's grin grew savage. "The Jade Emperor of Heaven therefore invited me to take a place in his realm, so that I would cease to bedevil his subjects."
"The direct route to heaven?" Shea stared. "And you didn't stay?"
"Nay, for I found that the place he had for me was that of a groom in the Heavenly Stables! In revenge, I invaded the workroom of Lao-Tzu, the founder of the Way, and stole from him a flask of the Elixir of Life. It was for this that Buddha imprisoned me—but even He had to make my jail the top of a mountain! There He bade me dwell for five long centuries, until a monk should come who could teach me patience and humility. Now that monk has appeared- -a prince who has forsworn all the vanities of this world, and who has been sent by the Emperor of Tang to go to India, and bring back three baskets of Buddhist scrolls. For this he has taken the name 'Tripitaka', which means, O Ignorant Barbarian, 'Three Baskets'. And he has the gall to chastize me for having saved his life!" Monkey leaped to his feet again, reminded of his grievance. "I screamed imprecations at him for his ingratitude; I rushed off in anger. What need I with such a fool for a master? No, I have come back to my Mountain of Flowers and Fruit, and here I shall stay, whether Buddha wills it or not!" But there was a look of trepidation in his eyes as he said it.
Shea did not want that club to start whirling again— but he did want to be able to get out of that cage without becoming the Target for Today. "Sounds as though he was trying to teach you what Buddha wanted."
"What?" Monkey stared at him.
Shea shrugged. "If Buddha told you to become this monk's disciple, he must have wanted you to learn whatever he had to teach."
"To let murdering bandits live!?! How could this be holy?"
"Sometimes you just have to take it on faith," Shea explained. "We have an archetypal story about that, back where I come from—about a man who is famous for patience, but who really ought to be famous for holding on to his ideals."
"Ideals?" Monkey scowled at him. "Whatever are you talking about?"
"Job." Shea settled himself for a long session. "His name was Job, and he was a very religious man who had everything he could want—a beautiful, loving wife, well-mannered children, a fine house, and lots of money. But a, um, demon, tried to tell the, uh, King of Heaven, that the only reason he was religious, was because he had everything he wanted. Take all of that away, the demon said, and Job would lose his faith and curse the King."
"Surely the Jade Emperor would not listen to such foolish speech!" Monkey frowned. "Or is it so foolish?"
"That's what the demon said—and the King of Heaven figured it was necessary to prove that it was foolish. So He gave the demon permission to take away everything that Job held dear—house, money, children, wife. One by one, the demon did just that. First the children were killed by accidents and disease ..."
"Why, what goodness can there be in letting children die?" Monkey demanded.
"Presumably, they went straight to Heaven." Shea shrugged away the objection. "Anyway, it's just a story, to make a concept clear. Then a depression hit, and Job lost all his money. A fire burned down his house. Still, all he would do was to cry out to God to tell him what he had done to deserve all this. Finally, his wife began to despise him, because not only hadn't he kept all these things from happening, he wasn't even complaining about the King of Heaven being cruel."