“I don’t want to see someone, Finn,” Dani said, measuring her words. The last thing she wanted was for Finn to feel slighted. “I promise I’ll talk about it if I get scared or have bad dreams. But there is something I want to do once we get settled down.”
“Anything. We can do anything, Dani.” Finn’s voice was breathless, as though he was excited she was asking for something.
“I want to go to The Club.”
Finn stiffened. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, baby.”
Dani sat up. She was sure she looked a mess, but it didn’t matter with Finn. He wouldn’t care that she had a red nose or that her makeup was long gone. She pushed her hair out of her eyes. “Tell me you don’t want to experiment. Tell me you don’t want to play anymore.”
His handsome face fell. “I told you, I’ll top you. I can do it.”
He would try, and she didn’t doubt he would do it. But it wouldn’t fulfill him. Julian had taught them so much. For so long they had been cut off from whole sides of themselves. She doubted Finn could be happy without D/s playing some role in their lives. “I don’t think either of us is going to be content until we really explore this part of ourselves. I’m okay with playing around at home, but I think we should try The Club or, if Julian refuses to let us in, maybe some other club.”
Finn’s voice was low, defeated. “I don’t think he’ll care either way, Dani. I think once he makes up his mind he’s done. Hell, if you want to play, I bet Lucas can get us in. Julian probably won’t even notice we’re there.”
Dani sniffled. She couldn’t seem to help it. Maybe one day the ache of losing him would lessen, but it was still a raw gaping wound in her chest. “Probably not. He’ll probably have other subs by the time we’re ready. He’ll have some pretty, thin thing under one of those contracts.”
“No, I won’t.”
Dani spun around, gasping at that deep, dark voice she had been sure she wouldn’t hear again. “Julian.”
He stood in the doorway. His tall, muscled frame took up most of the space, making everything seem small in comparison. His hair was loose, making him look younger than his forty-plus years. His silvery eyes were hesitant, though. Still, he held her with his gaze. “I’ll never sign another contract, little one. Not another BDSM contract.”
Finn’s hand was suddenly in hers. He squeezed her fingers. “I thought that was important to you. I thought you never took a lover without one.”
“I didn’t. Until I met the two of you.”
Dani felt a surge of hope. He was here. He hadn’t left. But she had to know. She couldn’t go through this ping-pong of emotion. “Why? Because we were a fling and those don’t count? Because I’m not up to your standards?”
His face went a scarlet red, and his fists clenched. “Damn it, Danielle. I won’t listen to anyone talk that way about you.” He took a deep breath. He visibly got himself under control. “Please, little one, don’t test me. I’m at the end of my control. I won’t allow anyone to put you down, least of all yourself. You and Finn mean more to me than I can say.”
“Try.” Finn scooted beside her. His voice had a slightly hard edge, but his arm curled around her reassuringly. He wouldn’t simply let Julian back in, Dani knew. Finn would make him work for it. Dani had known Finn all her life. He could hold a grudge. She would have to make sure he didn’t in this case.
She watched as Julian swallowed. She waited for him to tell Finn to fuck himself and walk off. A thousand scenarios played through her mind. Julian could simply leave, deciding they were too much trouble. He could start his Dom routine and bark orders at them. He could have come back simply because he wanted to explain why he had to leave. He wasn’t a monster. Maybe he wanted to soothe them. He might promise to find them a new Dom. That scenario hurt most of all.
“I think I love you.”
His hoarse words sent her reeling. Of everything he could have said or done, she hadn’t expected it would be that.
“Okay,” Finn said.
Dani turned her face up. Finn had a little smile on his face that caused Dani’s heart to clench. Finn understood that there was no place for grudges now. She looked back at Julian. “Okay.”
He stared for a moment, seemingly dumbstruck. “Okay? That’s all you have to say?”
It wasn’t. Not for Dani. “I love you, too, Julian, but I have a few conditions.”
Every muscle in his body tightened. His jaw clenched. “All right. I’ll listen to conditions.”
She contained the smile that threatened to burst over her. Moments before she’d been dead tired, but now a new energy rolled over her. “I don’t want to be your slave, Julian, though I do want the sex part. I know I’m submissive, and I’m willing to be sexually submissive, but I want to take charge of my life. I want you to help me do that.”
His red-rimmed eyes suddenly held a wealth of warmth. “Yes, Danielle. I will help you do that.”
One hurdle gone. The worst was yet to come, though. She took a long gulp of air. “I won’t sign a contract with you. I know that’s important to you, but I need you to trust me. That contract won’t hold me to you. My love will hold me.”
“I told you no contract, Danielle. But I want you and Finn to live with me. I want you with me always. I want to try. I want to give you the things you need.”
Finn got to his feet. “You can’t run again.”
“I won’t.” Julian met his eyes. Something passed between the men. “I promise you, Finn. Whatever problems we have, we’ll talk it over or fight it out. I won’t ever leave again. But you should know something. I don’t think I’m good at the love thing. I haven’t really tried it before, never wanted to. You might have to be patient with me.”
Patience was Dani’s middle name. She got to her feet. She could be more than patient with him on an emotional level, but on the physical plane she wanted more, and she wanted it now. She walked straight up to him and planted her body close to his. He was stiff for a moment, as if he wasn’t sure what to do, but then he sighed, and his arms curled around her body. She sank into his heat, nuzzling his neck, listening to the firm beat of his heart. She felt his left arm open, and Finn snuggled in. Finn’s arm wrapped around her waist, and she was complete.
“Forgive me.” The words were hoarse and unnecessary. She’d forgiven him even as he’d walked out on her.
“I love you.” She and Finn whispered it at the same time, a benediction for their soul mate, for the man who made them whole.
“I love you. I love you so much. I’ll never stop.” Julian leaned down and kissed her. His lips grazed against hers softly before his tongue came out, requesting entry. She opened beneath him and was rewarded with the strong surge of his tongue rubbing against hers, dancing in a slow grind she felt in her pussy.
He released her mouth and pressed his lips against Finn. Dani watched as they kissed for the first time. It was tender. Emotion and promise played along their lips. They were so beautiful together. Dani wanted to step back and watch them, but they held her close.
“I want to make love,” Julian whispered against Finn’s mouth. “I want us to share Danielle, to make her understand that she can rely on both of us.”
Their heads turned together, both gorgeous men watching her with undisguised lust in their eyes. One pair of gray eyes and one pair of green caught her. Their skin touched, and their hair mingled. It seemed to Danielle they had a single purpose. Her.
Her heart rate sped up. The air in the room suddenly seemed too heavy to breathe.