Stef had been her world from almost the moment she’d seen him. She could still remember the minute she’d walked into Stella’s Diner and seen him sitting at the counter. He’d been so beautiful. He’d taken her breath away because he was so much more handsome than his pictures. She’d loved his artwork. He was a master, and she’d come to learn from him. And then he’d been a Master and oh, she’d learned more than she could have imagined. She’d learned about love and sex and she’d become something more than she had been before. Her sweet Master who brought her such pleasure, who made her feel precious and beloved, like she was the only woman in the whole world.
Had she lost him? Had he lost interest? Her heart ached at the very thought.
“I don’t know about that,” Jen replied. “I think some men like the hunt. Maybe they’re not so interested once the hunt is over.”
“Stef? I don’t think that he was much of a hunter.” Barnes shook his head. “The way I remember it, Stef always just let the subs come to him. I’ve been to some clubs with the man. Now, I was a helluva lot younger back then, but he never aggressively looked for anyone. He simply waited until he found someone deeply submissive and then negotiated a single encounter with her. He would negotiate longer contracts, but only rarely and only when the sub seemed to really need a Dom. At first I thought he was in love with Callie, but time proved me wrong.”
Callie Hollister-Wright was Stef’s best friend. There had never even been a hint of romance between them, just a loving friendship. “No. He views her as a sister.”
“Yeah, I got that after a while. Stef reminds me a little of myself. I was more about the D/s portion of the relationship than any one woman. I didn’t take any woman seriously until I met that redhead who wears my ring and my collar. I knew she was the one. I knew I wanted to marry her a couple of weeks after I met her.”
A little bitterness surged. It had taken Stef a very long time to wear down. “Stef didn’t feel that way about me. He pushed me away at first.”
The big cowboy grinned, a mischievous look. “Stef was a lot younger than I was. There’s a certain wisdom that comes with age. Hell, Stef still isn’t the age I was when I met Abby. It takes some of us longer.”
“Well, I think maybe Stef is wondering if he shouldn’t have taken a bit longer to get married.” He’d pulled away. There were nights when he didn’t come to bed until almost dawn, as though he tried to stay away from their bed for as long as possible. He would still kiss her, but they were fleeting pecks that did nothing to assuage her desires.
She missed her Dom. She missed her husband.
“He’s not.” Jack glanced back at the long dining room table where his family was enjoying a breakfast. A lovely blonde entered from the opposite door. Dani Lodge-Taylor was escorted by her husbands. Julian Lodge held her hand, looking coolly elegant in a suit. She got the definite impression that Julian only wore suits and leathers. He was that kind of a man. Finn Taylor walked behind him, carrying a baby in his arms. Little Chloe. She was so sweet. Finn didn’t seem to have a problem with being a dad. Neither did Julian. He was scary, but it was obvious he loved his daughter.
Jack caught Julian’s attention with a wave of his hand. The Dom nodded, helped his wife sit down, kissed his daughter’s head, and then walked toward them.
“Did you have to do that?” Jen asked. She was a little intimidated by the big bad Dom. Julian Lodge had a way of looking at a person that made her wonder if he was sizing her up for a tasty meal.
“He’s nothing but a big old teddy bear,” Barnes assured her.
A grimace marred Julian’s perfect face for a moment. “I think I just vomited a little. I am not a teddy bear, Jackson. I still have plenty of teeth. Old age might have dulled your edge, but mine is firmly in place.” He turned to Jennifer and proved how charming he could be. She allowed him to take her hand in greeting. “Hello, dear. Have I thanked you for hosting us? I know it’s an imposition, but we’re really enjoying our time here.”
“Not a problem. It’s been nice to have someone to talk to.” She’d definitely enjoyed spending time with their wives and children.
Julian sent Jack a surprised look. “Stefan is screwing it up, then?”
“Looks like it. Julian, tell her how you felt when you first found out Dani was pregnant. Tell her all about how excited you were about the baby and how you just knew that the baby was going to change your life for the better.”
Julian shuddered a little. “I wish I could. The truth is quite different. I was completely terrified. I had no idea how I was going to handle it, but Danielle was quite insistent. Even several spankings couldn’t dissuade her from trying to get pregnant.”
“You didn’t want your daughter?” She couldn’t imagine it. Julian had been so tender with the baby. Little Chloe was always held by one of them. She wondered if the baby ever touched a bed by herself.
Julian laughed a little. “Oh, I wanted her, but I didn’t know I did. When Danielle told me I was going to be a father, all I could feel was a complete panic. My father died when I was very young. I didn’t exactly know how to go about being a father, and then there was the fear of losing her.” He got very serious. “I love my wife. She and Finn were my whole world at the time. I guess I couldn’t imagine things changing.”
“I felt the same way.” Barnes leaned against the doorjamb. “I found out Abigail was pregnant and all I could think about was how it would change everything. We’d only been married for a year or so. I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the thought of children, but like Julian, I didn’t grow up with a father. I was afraid I wouldn’t be a good one. I was afraid something could happen to my wife. I was just afraid. Men are different. We don’t get to feel that baby kicking around inside us.”
“Thank god,” Julian said with a shudder.
Jack ignored him. “We don’t understand the whole parenthood thing until the baby is here and we can hold him in our arms and really get that this baby is a whole human being we made with the person we loved. I think it’s worse for us Doms.”
“We feel out of control,” Julian concurred. “Finn handled it so much better than I did. I think I got through those nine months because Finn practically held my hand.”
“Sam just accepted it. He didn’t fight it at all. He immediately started rubbing Abby’s belly and talking to the baby. He brought me in.” Jack sent a look toward his family. “God, I would have been lost without Sam. Stef doesn’t have a Sam. He doesn’t have a Finn. So I’m betting that he’s just scared of losing his precious wife. He doesn’t have any brothers, does he?”
“He has Max and Rye, but Stef doesn’t talk about a lot of things. He’s very private.” She’d kept her fears inside her for so long. “I think he doesn’t want me anymore. I’m much bigger than I used to be.”
Julian shook his head. “She’s going to get a spanking.”
“Damn, girl. I wouldn’t tell your husband that if I were you.” A slow smile crossed his face. “Or maybe you should.”
“Yes, that would very likely bring him around,” Julian agreed. “Though we certainly shouldn’t be telling a submissive to poke her Dom.”
“Sometimes we need a little poke, Julian. You know it.” Jack gave her an encouraging nod. “Tell him how you feel. You know communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Sometimes Doms forget and we need our subs to remind us.”