She turned her face away from Rogar. She stroked the back of the tiny girl sleeping on the grass mat.
Rogar spoke again. ‘‘It’s not just my people who do this. It was the same on your island.’’
Amaya didn’t move, but she felt the air pass over her, and she knew Rogar had gestured angrily.
‘‘Elosa says there is not enough for my clan to eat,’’ he said. ‘‘If we had plenty, we could keep your sister’s child. But we don’t have food for her.’’
‘‘She can share my food,’’ Amaya said softly.
‘‘No! You would become weak. You should bear our own child. And we need you to work. You must remain strong.’’ Rogar put his hand on her arm. Amaya did not pull away. She barely felt his touch on her coconut shell arm. Did the arm feel rough and hard to him?
‘‘Is it kind to keep the little one if we cannot feed her?’’ Rogar said. ‘‘Is it kind to keep the little one if the other women here hate her? If she will be an outcast in this clan? No! It’s better to put her in the water now. Better for her. Better for you. Better for all of us.’’
He paused, but Amaya still hid behind her hard outer husk. The silence grew between them.
Rogar sounded despairing when he finally spoke. ‘‘We cannot oppose Elosa. She is the one who decides.’’
Amaya spoke then. ‘‘And Elosa hates me.’’
‘‘Don’t be foolish!’’
Amaya did not answer. What purpose was there in arguing with this man whom she knew so little, yet who had power over her, over the little one? She had thought she loved him. But he would not listen.
After another long silence Rogar stood up. ‘‘I’m sorry, Amaya. It’s decided. I’ll take the baby into the water as soon as it’s light.’’
He walked softly from the hut, into the darkness.
Amaya sat motionless. If she moved, her husk would crack. She kept her hand on the sleeping baby. Little Tani, all Amaya had left of her sister, of her own clan, of her own home on the westward island. If only, if only she had not left there!
Amaya had liked Rogar’s looks as soon as he and his friends had come to her island, bringing dried fish and cloth to trade. He was strong and well-made, with broad shoulders. He had smiled at her. She had been flattered that such a handsome man had liked her. And he had come from afar. If she went with Rogar, she could see other islands, meet new clans.
She had been pleased when he offered her uncle a bride-price. Her uncle hesitated, but Amaya made it clear that she wanted him to accept Rogar as her husband. Her uncle had said yes, and she had willingly gone with Rogar to his own island.
Then she had met Elosa. Elosa had hated Amaya from the moment she stepped on the shore of the lagoon. And as shaman, Elosa was one of the most important members of Rogar’s clan. Her hate was serious. It had meant Amaya was shunned by all but Rogar’s close family.
Rogar’s mother had welcomed her as a mother-in-law should. Amaya had even thought she saw a slight feeling of exultation in her greetings. But most of the other women had been unfriendly-or perhaps fearful. They had spoken to her, but only sometimes. If they met alone in the forest, they would stop and talk. But if she met the women in a group, they would lower their eyes and pass by.
Amaya had asked her mother-in-law about it. ‘‘Why? What have I done?’’
‘‘You’ve done nothing, Amaya. They are afraid of Elosa.’’
‘‘But she is the shaman. She is responsible for the clan’s welfare.’’
‘‘But the clan has had problems since Elosa became shaman. Our harvest has failed. The fish have been few. The tribe has become divided.’’
‘‘But I have done nothing to cause the division.’’
Rogar’s mother looked away. ‘‘Elosa wanted Rogar for her own daughter. When he took a bride from far away, it made Elosa fear that the people would think her foolish.’’
She put her arm around Amaya’s shoulder. ‘‘Don’t worry! Rogar wanted you! He is smart, that son of mine. Elosa will become interested in something else. Already she is looking for another husband for her daughter. The trouble will go away.’’
But the trouble did not go away. It grew, and it grew until it was not only between Amaya and the other women of the clan, but until it was also between Rogar and Amaya. They had not known each other well, Amaya realized. They’d only had a few days together without the interference of Elosa. Now Rogar grew impatient, hard to please. Their lovemaking grew more awkward, instead of more comforting. Amaya felt she had ceased to please Rogar. And she had wanted to please Rogar. She wanted to love Rogar.
Amaya had hoped the ritual trip back to her own clan would help. But there they found greater disaster. Disease had come, and her uncle had died, and her sister and her sister’s husband. The only one left was Tani.
The baby had grown since Amaya had left with Rogar. Now she was walking. She was staying with the great-grandmother, but the great-grandmother could not run after her. Tani would hide. When the great-grandmother called, she would laugh. But she would not come. Amaya saw that the great-grandmother could not take care of her.
Rogar had hesitated when she asked if she could bring Tani back to his clan’s island. ‘‘She is a fine, strong baby,’’ he said. ‘‘But she is just a girl. And our clan’s crop was small this year.’’
Amaya had not pleaded. But Rogar had also seen that the great-grandmother could not care for Tani. And perhaps Tani had won him over herself, with her baby smiles and games. He had grown fond of playing with her, taking her into the lagoon to splash.
‘‘We will take her back,’’ he had said finally. ‘‘She is a brave little girl. She laughs when water splashes her. She will be adopted by my tribe.’’
But that did not happen. Elosa had hated the baby, just as she hated Amaya. She had refused to take Tani into the clan. Then she had decreed that the clan did not have enough food, and she said that the child must die.
‘‘It is not right for this stranger child to take food from the mouths of our clan,’’ she said. ‘‘Rogar must put her in the water.’’
Amaya’s heart broke, but her hard outer shell remained solid. She had hidden behind it all afternoon.
Rogar had argued with Elosa, tried to convince her that the clan’s resources were not so few that one tiny girl would cause others to starve. But Elosa was firm.
‘‘You must put the girl in the sea tomorrow-as soon as the sun rises,’’ she said.
Amaya could not argue. Rogar had spoken truly. Her own clan followed that custom, too. If food was scarce, the oldest and the youngest among them must die. It was best for the weakest to die, to allow the strongest to live.
But Amaya did not want Tani to die. She was her sister’s child. She was the final link with her own clan, her own island. If Tani died, Amaya would be left among a strange people, subject to a strange husband, with no one to care about and no one to care for her. And Tani was a strong child. She would grow into a strong woman who would help her clan.
But what could Amaya do?
Amaya nestled behind her hard coconut shell and thought.
Wildly she thought of killing Elosa. She could take the club she used for breaking coconut shells. She could creep up upon Elosa’s house. She could hit the witch in the head. The shaman would die.
A feeling of pleasure swept over Amaya at the thought, but it was closely followed by a shudder that shook her whole body and rattled her teeth.
No, she could not kill Elosa. Even if she managed to creep into Elosa’s hut undetected, Rogar’s people would guess who had done it. She would be killed. Tani would still die. Killing Elosa would accomplish nothing, except that Amaya would herself die and her spirit would be condemned to roam the sea forever, never finding rest on the heavenly island.
Could she run away? Could she steal a canoe and go back to her own clan?