I strip off once the tub’s full and step in, the warm water soothing my nerves. It’s like every single one of my muscles is wound up tight.
I stay there for a long while, my eyes closed, trying to forget about Jay’s hands on me. It was so unexpected, and I can still feel him touching me, how it made me ache, made me instantly wet. It’s been so long since I’ve been with a man, and even then he wasn’t really a man, just a boy. My ex-boyfriend (and only boyfriend) was the same age I was. Neither of us really had a clue what we were doing half the time.
I can’t imagine it being like that with Jay. Granted, he’s only four years older, but he seems so much more…experienced than I am. I feel like he could teach me things I couldn’t even fathom. I see him in my head, out in the garden doing pushups on the grass, his muscles moving, flexing, sweat dripping off him.
It’s times like these that I wish I owned a vibrator. Christ, I feel like I didn’t even own a libido until Jay came into my life. Now my mind is just a churning bucket of frustration and sexual thoughts.
I remember the night he’d offered to go down on me. He probably puts just as much dedication into the act as he does everything else. My skin tingles just thinking about it, my nipples hardening in the water. My hand rests innocently on my belly, but as my erotic thoughts take over, I start to stroke my skin, breath whooshing out of me as I imagine Jay’s hand doing it.
My thighs fall apart as my fingers move lower, dancing whisper soft over my sensitive flesh, my clit throbbing to be touched. A second later I jump in fright when someone knocks on the door.
“Darlin’, can we talk?” comes Jay’s deep voice. I have to bite my lip not to moan at the sound of it. Feeling daring, I seek out my clit, rubbing it slowly. I mean, the door is locked. He’ll never know. A little thrill goes through me.
Finally, I answer quietly, “This isn’t a good time.”
I hear his body slide down the door, his bottom hitting the floor as he sits. “I’ll stay out here. I don’t like fighting with you, Watson. We’re supposed to be besties, remember?”
“I’m — I’m taking a bath, Jay. We can talk later,” I manage, trying to sound normal, but my breathing is far too laboured. I shouldn’t be touching myself with him right behind the door, but I can’t seem to help it. Reaching up, I mould my breast in my hand and pinch my nipple, sending tremors all throughout my body.
I realise that Jay’s been quiet for far too long. I didn’t make any noises, did I? No, I know I didn’t. I’m not that reckless.
“How’s your bath going?” he asks. His voice sounds different now, lower.
“I said we’ll talk later. Can you go?” I croak, unable to help sliding my fingers inside myself, my walls clenching tight around them.
There’s a smile in his voice when he goes on, “What are you doing in there, baby?”
“Nothing,” I answer, a little too quickly.
“Okay, you keep on doing nothing. I’ll just sit here while you’re at it. This spot is surprisingly comfortable.”
Bastard. I want to tell him to leave again, but I know he’s not going to. I’m on the cusp of coming, that crazy place where you’re too full of pleasure to stop. You want the release so badly that for those few insane moments you don’t care if somebody’s listening. If they know exactly what you’re doing. Embarrassment is a land far, far away.
I pinch my nipple again as I rub at my clit fast now, my foot braced against the end of the tub. I’m so close to coming, but it’s Jay’s voice that sends me over the edge.
“You making yourself feel good?” he asks, his voice a quiet, rumbling caress.
A tiny moan escapes me before I can stifle it, and I come on my hand, my entire body pulsating with the pleasure.
“Yes,” I answer softly, coming down from the high.
My heart jolts when the doorknob turns. I remember that I locked it, though, and I breathe evenly.
“What are you doing?” I demand.
“I want to come in,” he murmurs, still behind the closed door.
“I’m in the bath. Naked!”
“Exactly,” he answers. I can tell the exact smug expression he’s got on his face right now, even though I can’t see him. There’s a curious scratching sound at the lock, and I wonder what he’s up to. When the knob turns again and the door starts to open, I dive out of the tub, slamming my body against the door to keep it shut.
Keeping my body against the door, I reach over and grab a towel to cover myself.
“Did you just pick the fucking lock?” I gasp, wrapping the towel around my body.
“Another of my many talents,” Jay replies.
“You’re overstepping the line.”
His tone is dark — reprimanding, almost. “Oh, so now there’s a line. You just let me listen to you masturbate, darlin’.”
Okay, so when he puts it like that, it’s kind of hard to argue with him. Still, my immediate response is to deny everything. “I don’t know what on earth you’re talking about, but you need to get away from the door and leave me alone.”
I open it just a sliver and peek my head out to show him I mean business. Unfortunately, when his eyes lock on mine, I melt. He sucks in a breath when he sees me, his hand reaching through the crack to touch my chin. Then his thumb moves up and brushes my bottom lip.
“Fuck, look at you,” he growls.
I’m so caught up in the way he’s staring at me, like he could devour me whole, that I forget to keep my hold on the door. He pushes it open easily and pounces on me, lifting me up into his arms, my legs straddling his waist, and carrying me into my bedroom. He settles me down on the mattress, moving to brace himself above me.
“Such a temptation,” he whispers, like he’s reprimanding himself. “How the fuck do I resist this?”
I’m not anticipating it when his mouth descends on mine, taking my lips in a hard, frenzied kiss that I feel all the way to my toes. My skin grows hot and feverish. I moan into his mouth as his tongue plunders inside, tangling with mine, sliding in and out. My legs fall apart, and he pushes into me, his erection grinding hard into my sex. I feel empty, aching to have him inside me.
He hums as he kisses me, possesses me with his mouth. The sound vibrates low in my belly. When he breaks the kiss a moment later and pulls back, he looks down and swears profusely. I follow his gaze to see my towel’s fallen open and I’m 100-percent, no-holds-barred naked.
His mouth goes to my neck, licking and sucking, sending shivers down my back that culminate at the base of my spine. I could come again just from that.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs into my skin, and my heart stops. No one’s ever called me beautiful before. I’ve had pretty (from Dad), but not beautiful. Hell, I’ve never really felt beautiful until this moment, with his mouth on me, making my every pore come alive. One hand teases my nipple, the other moulding my hip.
“Hold onto the bed frame,” he says past a groan.
“W-what?” I ask, hardly able to form the word, I’m so lost to him.
He clears his throat, his eyes blazing into mine. Instead of elaborating, he takes both my wrists into his hands, raising my arms and wrapping my fingers around the wooden bars at the top of my bed.
Oh. Now I get it.
“Hold on tight,” he tells me, his gaze dark as he starts to plant kisses all the way down my body. “If you touch me, I can’t promise I won’t fuck you.”
Pleasurable shivers run down my spine. He shouldn’t have said that, because now I want to touch him. See what will happen.
I know I’m being reckless. I know he’s keeping secrets from me, but the fact is, in this moment I can’t bring myself to care. His touch makes my brain go on holiday, a long, long holiday in a faraway country. And I want him more than I want to know what he’s hiding.
He’s at my lower belly now, and I have a feeling I know where he’s headed, my anxiety ratcheting up and making me tense. I’ve never had this before, don’t know what to expect. Will I even like it?