She gives me a little shove. “Shut your face.”
I laugh and step away before going to put the finishing touches on my makeup. Half an hour later we’re both in Jay’s car, me in the passenger seat and Michelle in the back. When he starts driving in the direction of Jessie’s apartment, I say, “Um, we need to pick someone up first. Is that all right?”
“Sure, darlin’. You bringing another one of your friends along? If you are, make sure to keep her away from Jessie. Don’t want her corrupting any more of your pals,” he says, winking at Michelle through his overhead mirror.
Michelle narrows her eyes at him and sticks out her tongue in a playful manner.
I fidget. “Sort of. I asked Owen to come.”
Jay’s jaw tightens at my words, and his hands flex firmly around the steering wheel. Great. I had a funny feeling he wouldn’t like this. He’s been mean about Owen from the beginning.
“You asked the douche chef to come,” he says, his voice low and irritable.
“Yes,” I answer. “Is that a problem?”
It takes him several beats to reply, and when he does, his mouth is tight. “Nope. No problem.”
The drive is silent as we go to pick up Owen. He’s standing on the street outside his apartment block, waiting for us and holding a little basket. I step out of the car and get a surprise when he comes up to me and gives me a hug.
“Hi. How are you?” I say pleasantly as we break the hug.
“I’m great. You look beautiful. Here,” he says, thrusting the basket at me. “I know you like our restaurant, so I thought I’d bring you some of our homemade breads.”
I smile at the gesture. “Wow, thanks. That’s so nice of you,” I say, taking the basket from him. There’s a tiny niggling disappointment in my belly, because when he’d called me beautiful, it didn’t feel the same as when Jay did it. It didn’t feel epic; it just felt…nice.
Is nice going to be good enough?
Owen gets into the back with Michelle, and I return to the passenger seat beside Jay. I make all the introductions and am thankful that Michelle is being her usual charming self, because Jay’s reception is somewhat frosty. He glances at the bread basket in my lap, and there’s that jaw twitch again.
When we reach Jessie’s building, Jay parks and Michelle leads Owen to the entrance. I’d almost forgotten that she’s already been here before. I think she does it on purpose, too, sensing that Jay and I need to have a word.
“Can I leave this here?” I ask, gesturing to the bread basket as he pulls a small wrapped gift from his glove compartment. I didn’t know what to get Jessie, so I just got her one of those One4all gift vouchers and a card.
“Whatever happened to buying chicks a bunch of flowers?” he bites back, annoyed.
“I think it’s nice. I like bread. And anyway, what’s your problem?” I question. I stare at him, communicating unvoiced words.
You only want me as your friend, so why do you care if I have a date?
He takes the basket from me and sets it in the back. It seems like he’s trying to calm himself down. God, this man is complicated. I don’t get his psychology at all.
“You like bread,” he says, repeating my own words back at me and staring at me for the longest moment. I don’t know why, but I can’t look away. Finally, he breaks our staring competition.
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be nice,” he says.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
We go inside, taking the elevator up to the top floor. It turns out that Jessie lives in the penthouse. Her place is nothing like what I expected. First off, it’s huge, the kitchen and living room all open plan, with floor-to-ceiling windows lining one side of the room. The furniture is sleek and modern, with lots of hip, funky paintings hanging on the walls. A lot of arty nudes, too, all female.
“This place is amazing,” I say to Jay as he stands beside me. I’m all too aware of his hand softly touching my lower back. “How the hell can she afford this working in a casino?”
“She plays poker on and off. She does even better than I do most of the time. The winnings helped her to buy this place. There was a time when Jessie didn’t have a home. Her family cast her out, so owning somewhere that’s hers is a big deal.”
“Oh,” I say, taken aback by his candour while imagining what Jay looks like playing poker. Not sure why I find the image appealing, but I do. “You didn’t have a home at one time, either. Is it a big deal for you, too?”
His gaze is meaningful. “More important than anything. But home for me isn’t about a roof and four walls — it’s about people. My real family is dead, so I’ve got to make my own.”
The way he says it makes something catch in my throat. Has he made his own yet? A strange feeling takes hold in my gut, because more than anything I’d like to be a part of that family, even if it is just as a friend.
Our moment is broken when Jessie comes up to us wearing her usual jeans and baggy T-shirt, with the addition of a party hat and a big birthday badge that reads 94.
“Happy birthday, Jess,” says Jay, handing her the present he brought and giving her a tight hug.
“Yeah,” I add, giving her my card and grinning. “Happy birthday. I had no idea you were so old.”
“The surgeons can work wonders these days,” she replies with a wink, looking between the two of us. “Glad you both are on speaking terms again.” She gives Jay a pat on the shoulder and then goes to greet more guests who have just arrived.
I turn to him. “You told her what happened?”
He cocks his eyebrow and gives me a challenging stare. “Like you didn’t tell Michelle.”
I’m not sure why, but I find his expression rather attractive, even if he is being argumentative. It’s kind of…sardonic and sexy.
I don’t say anything for a second, then grumble, “Fine.” I walk away from him, over to the window to join Michelle and Owen, who are getting along quite well. We all get some drinks and go to sit out on the balcony, which is huge and goes around the entire corner of the building. I have to admire Jessie for being so determined to have a place she can call her own.
When I was little, before Mum died, we used to live in a wonderful old house on a patch of land just outside the city. It was where my mother grew up, and there was so much love put into it. I like our house now just fine, but there was something about that old place. It was special. Close to the life of the city but with the tranquillity of the countryside.
It was home.
It was the happiest place on earth until all the bad luck came. It felt like all of a sudden a dark cloud had descended, blocking out the sun. We used to have these neighbours; they had two sons who I played with almost every day. One was my age and the other a little older. I can hardly remember what those two boys looked like anymore; they’re just a hazy memory. I was only a kid, but my latest obsession had been motherhood, so I used to pretend they were my babies and I’d take care of them, making them food and giving them toys to play with.
I was a little weird.
Anyway, long story short. Their house caught fire one night, and the family didn’t survive; only the older boy did. Then he went away, probably to live with relatives or a foster family. It was so long ago that I can’t remember.
After that the dark cloud moved to our house. The burglars broke in and killed Mum, beat up Dad, and gave me a scar I’d never get rid of. Soon after, Dad sold the house. It’s not even there anymore. Now there’s a swanky five-star hotel where my dream home used to be.
Somebody touches my hand. “Matilda, are you okay?” Owen asks, concerned.
“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just having a little daydream.”
He smiles, his eyes interested. “Really? What about?”
I suddenly realise he thinks I was daydreaming about him. Hmm, how to answer? “Nothing much, just memories.”
We’re interrupted by loud clapping, and I look inside the apartment to see Jay surrounded by party guests as he performs his complicated card tricks. He’s like a light, always attracting people to him. He gives them a bow and goes to grab a beer. Somehow his eyes meet mine and lock before focusing in on Owen’s hand on my hand. He swallows some beer. I look away.