I don’t listen, squeezing her against me. “I was so worried.” I should be angry at her for sneaking out when I was asleep, but I can’t bring myself to care beyond the fact that I have her back. “I almost lost you twice this week. I won’t let there be a third time.”
She shakes her head against my chest. “Let go of me, Roman!”
Bile lurches in my stomach from the sight of her red-rimmed eyes and the fading bruises when I let her pull away.
“I’m not going back with you,” she says, choking back a sob as a tear falls down her cheek.
“Either I follow you, or you follow me. There’s no version of this where we go our separate ways.”
Bella tries to squirm out of my hold, while also gripping onto my shirt like it might kill her if she lets go.
“Miss, are you alright?” We both snap our attention to the cop standing a couple of feet away, who has his hand conveniently close to the weapons at his hips.
It kills me to step away from her, but I do it, keeping one hand on the small of her back. I’m not going back to jail, but I can’t tell him that she’s fine when she very clearly looks like she’s not fine. In fact, my ruined knuckles probably make it look like I’m the one who caused her bruises.
“Sir, I’m going to ask you to step away from her,” the cop says slowly, wrapping his fingers around the taser.
I grit my teeth, but do as I’m told, staring at Bella, pleading with her not to send me away like this when we haven’t talked about what happened. The only thing I can imagine that’s worse than being put in a box, is if Bella is the one who sends me there.
“Miss, I ask again, are you okay?” The cop slowly inches forward, muscles tense like he’s gearing up for a fight.
“I…” A shiver rips through her and she hugs herself tighter, glancing from me to the police officer as her bottom lip trembles.
Please don’t do this, I think, even though she can’t hear me.
The silence stretches for a long moment. She can tell them that I kidnapped her and held her against her will, that she had nothing to do with any of the murders. They’ll send me away for a long time, but I’ll still do everything in my power to make sure nothing bad happens to her. Then once I’m out, I’ll come crawling back to her, because since the day I met her, the only thing I’ve known for certain is that I’d die for her.
Her throat bobs with her swallow. “It’s fine,” she breathes out, staring straight at me. My shoulders sag in relief. “He’s… a friend.”
I curl my fingers into fists, but keep my mouth shut.
“Are you sure?” the cops asks.
She nods and gives him a forced, reassuring smile.
“Okay.” He narrows his eyes at me and gives Bella a comforting smile that she doesn’t need as he backs away to the other side of the street, out of earshot, but perfectly in his line of sight.
“I won’t come with you,” Bella whispers.
“Princess—”
“I was so scared, Roman,” she cries. “I was scared all my life, and you were there to protect me, but what if you’re the one I’m scared of?”
I reach for her, and she steps away. “I would rather kill myself than intentionally hurt you.”
“You got me out of the life I know, and however shit it was, I still had Jeremy. Now? What do I have? A life where I’m constantly at risk of getting killed? Where I don’t have Jeremy? All I have is the unknown, and you don’t know what we’re doing. Hell, you don’t even know what you’re doing.”
I shake my head. “Neither of us has known what we are doing ever since we were kids. When have we ever had a solid plan on anything? Everything we did was spontaneous, but we didn’t give a shit because we had each other.”
Tears fall down her face and I want so badly to hold her again. “I don’t want to go back to hiding and being scared. What if something happens to you while you’re fighting or going around killing people? What if you’re dead? What am I going to do then?”
“What you’ve always done, Princess. Survive. And I told you, there’s going to be no more fighting, no more gangs, no more killing—unless absolutely necessary.”
Bella hugs herself tighter. “I’m not safe with you.”
She’s right, but she’s also never been more wrong.
I reach for her again, and this time, she doesn’t fight me when I pull her into my arms. “You’re safer with me than without me.” Her chin trembles, wiping her tears away with her shoulder.
“That’s clearly not true. Should I list all the times I’ve ended up hurt with you around?” She looks at me with a mixture of sadness and fury, like she wants to curse my name and then kiss me after.
“I have a better idea; how about you list all the times you were hurt when I wasn’t around.” She shakes her head. “That wasn’t a suggestion, Isabella. Look at me and tell me every single time you were hurt because I wasn’t there, and the people who will never hurt you again because I stepped in.” I cock my head at her silence. “No? Alright, how about I start with the ones I know about—because I know you like to keep quiet about what happens.”
“Roman, don’t—”
“Greg. Marcus. His friends.”
“Roman.”
“Maxim and Mikhail. Mitchell.”
“I get it.”
“Skinny and Ugly. Those fucking customers at your work. The fucker that followed you from work the night you found me,” I list.
Her eyes widen. “That wasn’t you?”
“I stopped him before he could. Should I keep going?”
She shakes her head, and I watch the heavy rise and fall of her chest.
I continue anyway. “Troy from biology, who kept putting dead animals in your bag. Maddy from Phys-Ed, who would cut your bra straps. The postman who kept pressuring you for your number…” I tilt my head to the side. “How weird that he suddenly wasn’t interested anymore? Last I heard, he’s now mute.” Her eyes widen. “Aaron, who slapped your ass whenever he did his weekly trips to the store—you hadn’t seen him around lately, had you? Pity what happened to his house.” I continue, my gaze locked on hers. “What about that guy who works at the grocery store who likes to corner you? I wonder how he broke both his hands.”
She’s completely frozen, teeth chattering and staring at me with her mouth ajar.
I lean forward until our foreheads are a hair away from touching. “Now riddle me this, Bella; why did all those people stop hurting you?”
She sucks in a sharp breath as her lips quiver and drops her gaze to my feet. “I hate you.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself.
“That’s fine, Princess. You can spend your life searching for a reason to hate me, but the truth is, you hate that you can’t live without me. And you know what? I would rather die knowing you wish I were dead than for you to feel nothing toward me at all.” I tip her chin to get her to look up at me. “Maybe I haven’t made this clear: You have never been just a phase to me; you’ve always been the whole picture. Without you, I am incomplete.”
“But your heart is already full,” she whispers, searching my eyes for something I can’t see. “My leaving won’t change that.”
Wiping away her tears, I kiss her cheek. “My heart has only ever belonged to you, little Bella. You. Are. It.”
“What if…” She wets her lips. “What if something happens to me again? We’ll be spending the rest of our lives running from them.”
“It won’t,” I promise. “I’m going straight.”
“But… you want to get back at Vargas?” Her voice breaks as she talks.
“What happened once Damien dropped off the envelope?”
Bella chews the inside of her cheek. “We left.”