“I should never have trusted my heart,” she said quietly. “The heart is impulsive and can’t be reasoned with.”
“Tell me what you want from me!”
“You really want to know?” she quivered, narrowing her eyes at me.
“Yes! Just tell me.” I swallowed hard. “Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”
She paused, studying me, and my heart raced in anticipation.
“If you really care about me, if you really want to prove to me that it was real for you…” She stared long and hard into my eyes, the pain I caused covering her face, her eyes, her entire being. “You’ll let me go.”
I remained mute as I absorbed her words, a weight crushing my chest.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” she asked, sobs overtaking her, and I knew those words were just as difficult for her to say as they were for me to hear. “Please,” she begged. “You need to let me go.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I whispered, brushing my thumb under her eye. “I love you, Serafina.”
“No. There is no Serafina. There’s no Mackenzie. There’s nothing left to love.” She stood on her toes and planted a soft kiss on my cheek, her body trembling. “Goodbye, Tyler. Enjoy the lonely.” She slid into the back seat of the cab and slammed the door.
An ache in my throat, I watched the yellow cab disappear down Atlantic Avenue. I was at a crossroads. Do I grab my car and follow Mackenzie wherever she was going, thus ignoring her pleas that I let her go? Or do I let her leave, proving to her that it was real for me? No matter my choice, it wasn’t going to lessen the damage I had done.
Retreating to the building, I ran into the elevator, frantically pressing the button for the garage. I jumped into my car and peeled onto Atlantic Avenue. As I tried to merge onto the freeway toward the airport, traffic was at a standstill and I slammed on my brakes. Craning my head, I saw a five car pile-up that must have happened no more than a minute beforehand, blocking all the lanes. I couldn’t help but think that someone was trying to keep me from getting to Mackenzie. Maybe I wasn’t meant to approach her yet. Maybe the best thing for me to do was give her space, like she asked.
Fishing my cell phone out of my pocket, I ignored dozens of missed calls from my brother and pressed Eli’s number.
“Tyler, what’s wrong? Your brother just called and is flipping out.”
“She knows,” I said quietly.
There was a long pause before Eli spoke again, his voice soft and sympathetic. “I’m sorry, Ty. Is there anything–”
“Actually, yes,” I interrupted, trying to mask the heartache in my voice. “That’s why I’m calling. Are you at the office?”
“Yes.”
“Run Mackenzie’s credit cards. And her friends’, as well. See if you can find any information about where she is. I’m stuck in traffic trying to get to the airport. I need to know if she’s even headed that way, or whether I should turn around and try one of the train stations instead.”
“I’m on it,” he said and I could hear him typing away at his laptop. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I responded dejectedly, my shoulders deflating as I impatiently waited for traffic to begin moving. “She can’t trust me. No matter what assurances I tried to give her, none of it mattered.”
“Do you blame her?” he asked, his voice guarded.
“No,” I sighed. “I’d probably think the same thing if I were in her shoes. She told me the only way she’ll know it was real is for me to do the one thing I don’t think I’m ready to do.”
“And what’s that?”
“Let her go.”
The line was silent, and the sound of honking horns echoed around me, as if that would clear the accident quicker.
“Tyler, don’t you think that maybe it’s…” He stopped short.
“What?”
“I’ve got a hit,” he explained in an excited tone. “Just ten minutes ago, there was a purchase on Brayden Weller’s credit card for a flight from Boston to Brownsville, connecting out of Dallas. Better hurry. The flight leaves in less than an hour.”
“I’m stuck in the Callahan tunnel. Traffic is at a standstill.”
“Do you want me to hop on the subway?” Eli asked. “I could try to stop her.”
I felt as if the universe was conspiring against me. “No, but thanks, Eli. I’ll just wait it out and hope I can get there in time. I don’t want her to think we’re chasing her.”
“You got it. Keep me updated.”
I hung up and tossed my phone in the cup holder of the SUV. The only thing keeping me moving forward was the possibility that Mackenzie’s flight was delayed.
An hour later, I finally pulled into the parking garage at the airport and bolted for the terminal. Adrenaline coursed through me as I searched the departures board for her flight. A heaviness set in my limbs when I saw it had just left. In a daze, I shuffled from the terminal, unable to think clearly.
I didn’t even know how I ended up there, but I found myself parking just off Storrow Drive by Boston University. As if on autopilot, I headed toward the Charles River, my legs carrying me to the boathouse where Melanie had breathed her last breath. I didn’t know what I hoped to gain from visiting this place. Maybe I hoped to find some sort of clarity in a world that seemed to turn on its head overnight.
As I sat down on a bench by the boathouse, I felt a lump in my pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box, flipping it open to stare at the ring I intended to give Mackenzie today. The sun reflected on it, causing the three-carat diamond to glimmer. I hated that I never got the chance to see it on her finger.
I had no idea how long I sat there, staring at the ring, when I heard a familiar voice.
“I had a feeling you’d be here.”
I snapped the box closed and turned my head. Meeting a pair of dark eyes, a forced smile crossed my face.
“Hey, Ma,” I uttered.
“Hey, baby. How are you holding up?”
I shrugged, shoving the black box in my pocket and hiding my face.
“Tyler…” She sat beside me on the bench as I stared at the gentle waves of the river. “You can’t hide from your mother.”
“I hurt her, Ma.” I returned my eyes to hers, feeling all her compassion, understanding, and love envelope me from that one look, despite the fact she probably disapproved of my actions.
“You did. She has every right to be upset with you. It takes ages to learn to trust someone, but only one lie to ruin it.”