I was a sacrifice, a gift to his god from the water. And so I fought against him, my hands scrabbling at the edges of ice, trying to push myself free of the water. But he was stronger than I, his weight bearing down on me, pressing me into the black water. And I felt the mad longing to breathe that water.
The world returned and I traded water for the sky – lying gasping on the ice, my breath frosting before me. I tried to speak, but the cold stilled my voice; and Thorvaldur leaned over me, his hands on my shoulders. He laughed the way that wolves seem to laugh in the hunt, howling with joy, teeth bared and eyes wild.
‘Oh, I am glad to have you with me. Do you feel it now? Do you feel the new god’s hands upon you?’
‘Yes,’ I said. And I did.
Later, by the fire. It had been many hours since the ritual on the ice and I still could not seem to get warm. My heart beating sluggishly or threatening to pound its way from my chest, and I could feel myself growing weaker, moment by moment. I sat still and did not speak, and waited to see if I would live or die.
Thorvaldur was as restless as I was still. He poked the fire and looked at the sky, wishing the night away, praying for the coming of the dawn.
‘How many are there,’ he said, ‘that we must kill?’
‘Two brothers are the ones who matter. Björn and Snorri. Three kinsfolk with them. Bersi, Harald and Svein.’
‘Only five?’
‘There are others. There are always others to carry on the feud, are there not? But those five are the ones that matter.’
‘Very well. And who else do we have at our side?’
‘Only one. Kari Gunnarsson.’
‘Gunnar’s child? A boy?’
‘Near enough a man. And he shall fight as one.’
‘And what of the woman? Vigdis, you called her.’
‘What of her?’
‘Must she die, too?’
‘Does your god permit the killing of women?’
‘Sometimes he does.’ He clasped his hands together and leaned towards me. ‘Tell me something, if I am to fight in this feud of yours.’
‘Ask me.’
‘Why is it that you do this? And do not lie to me. I shall know it if you do.’
‘For revenge, of course.’
He studied me for a moment, then he wagged a finger as though I were a child to be scolded.
‘No,’ he said. ‘That is not the answer. But no matter. You will give me the truth, in time.’
Without another word, he turned from me, rolled up in his blankets, and was asleep within moments.
I slept, too. Better than I had since the feud began. And I did not dream.
29
We moved by night, for Thorvaldur was an outlaw still, and it would be death to both of us if we were caught together. We moved over the land in darkness, sleeping in fens and riverbeds in the day, and the stories spread in our wake.
I would hear them later: the farmers who heard our footsteps in the night and thought us ghosts. The shepherd boys in their shielings, who caught glimpses of us silhouetted against the sky and mistook us for giants, their eyes playing tricks at the distance. Gods and monsters, making their way to the Salmon River Valley.
When I showed Thorvaldur the valley for the first time, we stood on the southern hills, risking the dawn light. His eyes traced over the rivers and the dales, the mountains and the sea. He nodded and said: ‘A good land. But I would not die for it.’
‘You do not have to die for this place.’
‘I do not have to die at all. That is what you came here for, is it not?’
I made no answer.
He grunted. ‘So,’ he said, ‘that is not your secret either. But I will find it, do not worry.’
‘It is almost day. We must sleep now. They will be in the fields before long and we must not be seen.’
‘Where is it that we go tomorrow?’
‘To the house of a friend,’ I said, though the words were like ashes in my mouth.
When we came to Ragnar’s house I rapped my hands against the door – softly, with a thief’s touch. Yet the door was open in a moment and it was Sigrid who stood behind it. I suppose she knew it would be me.
‘I am glad to see you return,’ she said, and I could see her eyes shining in the darkness. Her hand drifted towards me, hesitant, as though she thought me a spirit rather than a man, and would believe me only through touch. Then her gaze strayed past my shoulder to the man who stood behind me. ‘Who do you bring with you?’
‘An ally.’
She nodded and she was cold once more. ‘I shall wake the others. Wait here.’
I listened to her footsteps, to soft voices within. And then I heard Thorvaldur’s words in my ear.
‘Who is she?’
‘Sigrid,’ I said, and I heard him chuckle.
‘I know that name. Whispered at night, in sleep, many times over the long winter. And I recognise her. That tall, pale thing that you were pining for.’
‘Thorvaldur…’
He grinned at me. ‘I shall be quiet, do not worry.’
I saw her again, in the half-light of the fire, beckoning us in. Ragnar and Kari were both waiting for us around the fire.
‘You should not have left without me,’ Kari said.
‘I know,’ I answered. ‘But it is done now. We have much to speak of.’
‘That may be,’ Sigrid said, ‘but you do not have much time.’ Her eyes did not leave Thorvaldur, as though I had brought a wild dog into her home.
‘Why is that?’
‘I have heard people talking. Of a stranger who roams the hills.’
‘Do they think me a ghost? That would be fitting.’
‘Some say so. But I am sure there are those who will guess at the truth. They are restless.’
Ragnar spoke, then. ‘I have heard that Björn may be going abroad. He and his kin have spoken to captains. Friends of mine. They seek passage on a ship.’
‘Why?’
‘Raiding. Trade. He is a man of much wealth now. And burning a house is a shameful thing. Perhaps he fears the law being brought against him.’ He looked at the palms of his hands. ‘And perhaps he has heard the rumours. Perhaps he knows that you have returned.’
‘We shall have to move quickly, then.’
‘Good,’ Thorvaldur said. ‘I did not come here to wait.’
Kari seemed to look on the newcomer for the first time. ‘Who are you?’ he said.
‘One who will fight.’
‘Did you know my father?’
‘Oh no. Only the stories that Kjaran has told me.’
‘Then why are you here?’
‘I like the killing. Don’t you?’
‘Thorvaldur,’ I said.
He tilted his head to me. ‘That is why you brought me here, is it not?’
‘I have never killed a man,’ Kari said.
Thorvaldur steepled his fingers together. ‘But you want to?’
Kari dropped his head. ‘Yes,’ he said.
‘That is enough,’ Sigrid said quietly. ‘Do not speak of killing in this house.’
Thorvaldur looked from the girl to me, grinning like an idiot. ‘I have heard stories of you, too.’
‘I have heard nothing of you.’
‘Do you want to?’
‘No.’ And she turned to me. ‘Who is this man?’
‘He is called Thorvaldur.’
‘This is a name I know. An outlaw.’
‘Yes.’
Ragnar put his head into his hands, but he would not speak.
Sigrid said: ‘This is too much that you ask of us. To shelter such a man.’
‘You need do no such thing,’ Thorvaldur said. ‘I shall sleep in the barn, and if they find me, call me an intruder. No blame shall lie with you.’ He looked to the boy. ‘Will you come with me?’ he said. ‘We have much to speak of.’