Johnson developed an intense caring for everything in his life. He began to see the difficulties of his job as blessings, he noticed his children’s individuality more, tried to control them less. He adored Angelina again as if it was only a few days since they’d been married. The twitches and tugs ceased to nag him.
He forgot about what the tube might imply and became the happy, contented man he had always wanted to be.
Summer came and with it the barbecues. The Johnson household played host to many weekend parties of work colleagues and old friends. Johnson himself, with his new passion for life, became a focal point of sociability; an effusive, outgoing entertainer. A joke teller, a storyteller, a shoulder to cry on, a good friend. He had found himself.
Forgetting, as he was soon to discover, was not enough.
Chapter 9
The sun shone, drawing sweat from every brow. The guys sucked on their beers while the girls sipped spritzers and sodas. The kids chased each other with water pistols and squealed. Guffaws and giggles erupted from every part of the Johnson’s back garden. Greasy blue smoke rose from the grill each time Robert Johnson turned the meat. This was how a weekend ought to be; people relaxing, having fun, forgetting about their pressures.
When Johnson’s tube hoisted him right over, leaving him on his back in the grass still holding a wiener in his tongs, people couldn’t help but notice. Some of them genuinely believed that he’d lost his footing and slipped. Others had the unpleasant impression that something had yanked him off balance. They dismissed the idea immediately but deep down, if only for a moment, a few of his guests realised that something very strange had happened to him, that he had been manipulated in some way.
As he picked himself up and smoothed down his cooking apron, Johnson glanced around, trying to gauge people’s response to what had just happened as subtly as he could. He placed the wiener back on the barbecue to sizzle. Everyone appeared to be laughing and talking amongst themselves exactly as they had before he been hauled over. There was no atmosphere of suspicion, no air of uncertainty. Everyone was having as much fun as they were a minute before it happened. He picked his baseball cap and put it back on after dusting some grass cuttings from its peak.
“Want to watch your step there, Robert.” Shuckman was smiling at him. “Either that or ease off the rum and cokes.
Gimme a little of that marinated chicken action, would ya?”
Everyone had let it go. It was as if they’d chosen to forget. For Johnson though, the spores of doubt had returned to grow like fungus in the darkest reaches of his mind. He recovered his poise as best he could but, for him, the rest of the barbecue had all the appeal of flat champagne.
When everyone had left, he went upstairs to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. It was there as, he assumed, it always had been; a huge black artery. He seemed to have shadowy memories of it from his childhood but couldn’t be certain if he was imagining such recollections.
Does it really matter now?
It surprised him that the answer was yes.
He realised that he could not have been born with the tube attached to him. People and tubes were solid things. It would have been impossible. Either the tube had become attached some time after birth or he and everyone else had not been born in the normal way. Feeling the weight of the implications bearing down on him with sudden and irresistible force, he decided to get away for a while. He needed time to think on his own. He didn’t say goodbye to Angelina or the children. He didn’t take his phone or his wallet. He took the car and drove into the hills outside the city.
The higher roads of the mountains had lookout points for picnickers and tourists and it was to one of these that Johnson drove, parking the car with its bumper right up to the safety barrier. It was long dark by the time he arrived. He put the seat back and tried to sleep but couldn’t sink any deeper into unconsciousness than a light dream state. There he encountered only the nightmares that his conscious mind hid from him during the daylight.
He dreamed of umbilical strangulation and Ventouse delivery during which the vacuum sucked out his brain rather than drawing him intact from the womb. He dreamed of running to escape cohorts of black eels that flew though the air behind him. He dreamed that he was paralysed in the trailing stingers of a giant jellyfish. He dreamed that each time he woke and checked his watch, the dawn was always farther away. That was the nightmare that distressed him most. Each time he had the dream he would moan, a dull cry muffled by the leather interior, heard by no one.
Finally the grey mountain light seeped through the car windows and into his eyes. He put the seat up and stepped out of the car. His body was stiff and the chill morning did nothing to ease him. He sat on the bonnet of the car and stared into the valley where he and his family had lived for three generations.
The light came slowly. He didn’t know if he wanted it to come faster and reveal the truth or for the sun to change its mind and never illuminate his life again. At first when he saw the column above the city he thought it was smoke but the shape was to uniform for that to make sense.
As the morning gained strength he realised that what he could see was a hundred thousand tubes stretching beyond vision into the sky. Everyone was wired up to…for the briefest moment he had the word ‘heaven’ in his mind but it was gone almost before it was formed. Johnson knew that heaven had no wires. That which was above him, beyond his sight; no, that was not heaven.
He abandoned the car and walked away from the road into the hills. Finding himself somewhere in the tree line, he was cocooned for an hour or so in the damp air of pine shadow. Too soon though, the trees thinned out and ended. He was nearing one of the lower summits.
His body eased out with the walking and although the air was chill against his face, his blood was warm. He stopped for a moment. There was no one around. The forest and the hills were silent apart from the occasional birdcall. The solitude embraced him and for a short time he felt a positive surge, a thrill of freedom.
A rustling nearby caught his attention immediately in the quiet ambience. He looked to where the noise had come from and saw a fox darting for cover in the undergrowth. From the top of the fox’s head a thin black tube extended skyward. The fox was there and then gone in an instant but the image did not escape him. He knew what he had seen and what it implied. A bird flew overhead. It too had a tube connecting it into the blue. Looking back at the trees, he saw that some of them were similarly interfaced with the sky. He turned away and struck out a pace for the top of the mountain.
Half an hour later he was there, staring out across the land. Back towards his city the view was relatively normal although he could still see the waving tower of black above it.
When he looked deeper into the range of mountains, a harsher cold than any frosty morning could instill spread out from his heart. The highest peak of the range was partly shrouded in mist and cloud but he could still see the monstrous black colon that protruded from its loftiest crest. The mountain’s tube must have been dozens of metres across at least.
Nothing was free; the very land itself was invaded and ensnared. He raised his hands to the sky and dropped to his knees in the loose shale of the mountainside.