“Go on.”
It’s a word of power, like the words I use to heal.
“A word… what does it do?”
I don’t know. Maybe nothing. But I can’t get it out of my head, and there are images entwined in it, much in the way engravings of birds and beasts and flowers are worked into an illuminated manuscript. A white city stands surrounded by green mountains, and beyond it lies a great chasm, so deep and dark, I can’t see into it. Something… broken… I don’t know. Likely it’s all madness…
“You’re not mad. You are not. You are the one I know in every way. Do not doubt it.” I was up and pacing my room like a caged beast. It was so little I could give him. Only my conviction.
That’s what I needed to hear. Perhaps I’ll find out more about it as things go on.
“We’ll find out together.”
With only a few days left before the trial, I was still trying to find someone to help in Karon’s defense, but neither the priests nor the inquisitors were of any help. No one would ever defend a sorcerer, they said. Why ever would they?
“Because it’s just,” I said.
“I cannot comprehend why King Evard even permits a trial,” said a slight, balding priest of Annadis who had visited me several times. “To let a sorcerer live even one day is an intolerable affront to the Twins. The people demand to see him burn. They say he’s a spy for Kerotea, most likely working deviltry on their behalf, even imprisoned.” That, of course, was why the whole business was being drawn out so long. Karon was to be fed to the people to whet their appetite for Evard’s war, to supply fighters for his spring campaign.
“Pere Glasste, I must go to the trial. I must be allowed to speak for him.”
“Oh, I’ve no doubt you’ll be there, my lady. The king swears he’s never known you to lie.”
Though I thought it curious that Evard was touting my virtues, I took that bit of news and nestled it to me as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Hope. One splinter of hope. I would be able to speak for Karon. Martin had always said I could persuade the sea god Jerrat himself to drain the ocean. I wished the wizened little priest would take his quivering young acolyte and leave so I could savor hope, so I could think and plan what to do with it.
“We only hope you’ll be free enough of the sorcerer that the truth will not burn your lips.”
Bold with promise, drunk with infinitesimal possibility, I responded as if the priest might actually listen to me. “I’ve spoken only truth to you and your fellows all these weeks. And my husband speaks only truth. Listen to him, hear his story, and you’ll recognize it.”
The pale, scrawny man squirmed distastefully. “I would never listen to a sorcerer. That was your downfall, my lady: to hear the evil that got you into this dreadful obsession. Thank the Twins and the great father Arot that no one can ever again be taken in by this sorcerer’s devilish speech.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why, because they cut out his tongue. Just yesterday. They couldn’t let him bewitch the king or the Council of Lords at his trial.”
The goggle-eyed acolyte joined in. “It’s the same reason they burnt out his eyes and crushed his hands on the night of his arrest. So he couldn’t use them to ensnare his inquisitors with evil signs and spells. We’ve had no instance of bewitching from this sorcerer at all!”
I felt as if the earth had given way beneath my feet. Backing away from the preening little beasts, I turned to the locked door and hammered my fists on it until blood streaked the pale wood. “Guards! Curse you forever. Guards! The gods curse you all. Remove this vermin from my room. I must see the chancellor or someone in authority. I demand to speak to my brother. Crimes are being committed in the name of the king. King Evard must be told!”
In moments the door was opened and the gaping priests scurried out, trembling like frightened rabbits. The acolyte dropped his lamp, and when a guard threw his heavy cloak over the burning pool of oil, I tried to push past him. But his comrade shoved me back inside the room and slammed the door. I screamed my outrage until I had no voice left, but no one was sent, either then or later, to listen to my grievances.
Shaking, hoarse, scarcely able to think through my sickness, I dropped to the floor and buried my head on my bed, fighting for control. I had not spoken with Karon since the previous evening—since they had done this new horror—and as the silent hours passed, I began to fear he was dead. His eyes. His tongue. His sweet hands. Oh, gods have mercy…
The wheeling of the light outside my high window witnessed that time had not stopped. Morning came. Someone left a tray inside my door. I did not move to touch it. The angle of the beams shifted to afternoon. The tray disappeared. Only when the last sallow rays of the sun were swallowed once again by the gray of evening did I hear his call. Seri…
“I’m here,” I said, and filled my mind with the images I had readied for him, hoping and praying he could find some small comfort in me—thoughts of gardens, of riding his great horse, of mountains and dawn light and my arms around him. But all my preparation went for nothing. I thought I knew the worst they had done to him, but I was wrong.
They’ve taken Martin and the others. They say they’ll do whatever is necessary to make them confess to treason. I can hear them screaming… The voice in my head was as gray as the sea under storm clouds, as dead as a battlefield when even the gleaners have moved on, as joyless as the charred ruins of Xerema. Even on the worst nights of that terrible winter, Karon had not come so near despair. They say they’ll do the same to you. They say they’ve evidence you’ve done murder, and that you’ll hang for it. Oh, gods, Seri —
“They’ll not touch me, Karon. Tomas has Evard’s word.” I gripped the raw wood frame of my bed until I thought the plank must bend. “Connor and I will be safe at Comigor. No one can harm us there.”
The others won’t understand what these people will do to them. They’ll try to resist, thinking it will make some difference.
“They knew, Karon. They knew the risks as I did. You allowed us to choose our way. We were grown adults, and we made the choice to have you in our lives. It was not just words that night at Martin’s.”
I should have left Leire .
“Martin has known for years that the moment Evard’s popularity waned, his life was not worth a copper penny. But even if that weren’t so, we made the choice and no one of us would change it. It is life, Karon, the life we wanted, and you must let us embrace it as you do yours.”
Which was, of course, exactly why I did not scream at him to use his sorcery to save us all, though in every corner of my soul I knew the horrors yet to come. How do you persuade the one you love to violate the very essence of his being? He had chosen, and I was his wife who had promised to sustain him in his life’s path. But I could not think how I was to bear it.
CHAPTER 20
Year 4 in the reign of King Evard —late winter
I awoke before dawn on the day of the trial and, as on most mornings, found Karon hovering on the edge of my dreams.
“I’ll be close to you today,” I said.
I wish you wouldn’t come .
I understood why. He was afraid I would get myself into worse trouble when I saw what they’d done to him. He didn’t realize that I already knew.
“You know I must have a chance to open my mouth. I’ll tell them that if you’re truly a sorcerer, then why did you not quiet your argumentative wife years ago? You will have abundant sympathy.”
They’ve not stoppered my ears, so at least I’ll be able to hear your voice.