“There’s millions of people out there who already believe in UFOs with practically no evidence at all,” Delmer pointed out. He was standing back from the window; he couldn’t bring himself to lean out over a mile-high drop with only a pane of glass—even improbably strong glass—between him and the ground.
“It’ll take a lot more than naive credulity to bring humanity up to speed,” Leo said sarcastically.
Naive, is it? Delmer thought. Was it naive to uncover the whole conspiracy simply by piecing together what he read in the papers? Was it naive to penetrate their cover deeply enough to make them take action against him, even recruit him? Hah. Leo didn’t fool him. He and his cronies here on the Moon simply wanted to keep their incredible toys to themselves for as long as possible.
Well, if Delmer had anything to say about it, that wouldn’t be much longer.
He shook Leo’s chaperonage easy enough by simply telling him he wanted to explore on his own for a while. Leo was getting tired of showing him around anyway, so it hardly took any convincing. As soon as he got free, Delmer spent a day doing just what he’d said he would do: exploring. He found a shopping mall where he bought a portable book reader and electronic copies of half a dozen primers for understanding the Vreenish technology, plus as many other gadgets as he could carry. Universal language translators, indestructible clothing, personal force fields—he felt like Buck Rogers by the time he left the mall.
When he got back to his apartment he used his new wrist videophone to call Leo. It was easier than trying to track him down in the sprawling mansion. When Leo’s holographic head appeared above his hand, he said, “I think it’s time I went back and defused my answering machine message, don’t you?”
Leo laughed. “Funny thing about that. You know, nobody has called your number all week?”
Delmer could feel himself turning white. He’d forgotten that one crucial detail in his bluff.
“Don’t worry,” Leo said. “You’re already here, and it would be more trouble to take you back than it would be to let you stay. Just keep your nose clean, or we’ll send you back so fast you’ll think you were teleported.”
“Thanks,” Delmer said sarcastically.
“Hey, you’re a friend,” Leo replied. “I wouldn’t do this for just anybody.”
No, of course not, thought Delmer. He only did it for people who were a big enough threat to warrant his attention. “You’re a true pal,” he said, then he switched off the phone, packed his treasures in a bag, and left the penthouse apartment.
The parking lawn was still full of flying saucers. Delmer headed straight for the liquid chrome one. Leo hadn’t taken him out in it yet, but from watching as they flew around in the others, he was pretty sure he didn’t need a key. He felt a twinge of guilt at stealing what probably amounted to his best friend’s penile extension, but if he knew Leo, he’d just use the opportunity to buy an even bigger one with his insurance settlement.
Acting nonchalant, as if he were just a parking valet, Delmer walked straight up to the saucer, climbed the ramp that slid out when he approached, and sat in the single pilot’s chair. The ramp slid up behind him and the door sealed tight. Delmer examined the control board, a tight horseshoe-shaped console wrapping around the chair. The controls weren’t arranged like the ones in the UFO he’d flown on the way to the Moon, but they were labeled with little international-style pictures of the ship tilting this way and that, and zooming along with speed lines stretched out behind it. Delmer found the one that looked like the lift button, but nothing happened when he pressed it.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t switched on. He looked for something that might be an ignition switch, but there wasn’t anything obvious. No key slot, which was a good sign, but no prominent red button labeled “on,” either.
He tried a few anyway, hoping for luck, but all he got for his effort was a sultry female voice saying, “You forgot your passphrase again, didn’t you?”
He looked over his shoulder, half expecting to see a real woman standing behind him, but he was alone in the ship. “Uh, no,” he said, wondering frantically what sort of password Leo would use. “Money?” he said timidly.
“Sorry, that was last month,” the voice said. “It’s a phrase now.”
“Oh, of course,” said Delmer. “Uhh, let’s do lunch?”
“Nope.”
“How about ‘I’d like to thank my parents, and all the people who—’”
“Sorry. I’m going have to notify security that you’re trying to take the vehicle.”
“No, don’t do that!” Delmer stood up and grabbed his bag. “Just sit tight. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll get right back to you.”
“Passphrase accepted,” the voice said. “Have a nice flight.”
Delmer collapsed back in the chair and stabbed at the lift button. The glittering spaceship leaped off the ground, narrowly missing an overhanging wing of the mansion, and within seconds it had cleared the air bubble and was hurtling into deep space.
Delmer swung around the Moon until he was aimed at the Earth, then held the “speed” button down until he could see the planet visibly growing ahead of him. He looked back to see if he had any pursuit, but the entire Moon was dwindling like an untied balloon.
He was twenty-five minutes out—and nearly to Earth—before his wrist phone buzzed for attention. Delmer ignored it, afraid that Leo might be able to control the ship with his voice over the phone, and hoping that he couldn’t do it even without the phone, but the ship kept on in its headlong plunge toward the blue and white planet below. The hunt was on, though.
As he drew closer to home, Delmer wondered where he ought to take his stolen UFO. It would be indisputable proof of the existence of the Black Space Program, but only if he could get it to the right people before Leo and his cronies caught up with him. None of the government agencies would be any good; they were already in on it. Except for SETI, of course, but Delmer wondered if they had enough clout to blow the conspiracy even with a UFO as evidence.
Probably not. To do any good, Delmer was going to have to reach hundreds of thousands of people with his proof, and he was only going to get one shot at it. As soon as he went public, a whole fleet of Vreenish would probably show up to reclaim the ship.
Earth was a flat wall outside the window now. Delmer looked for continents, finally identifying the outline of southwestern Africa. That would put America around the curve of the planet to the left, so Delmer angled his descent that way and skipped along just above the atmosphere until he saw the outline of Florida slide toward him.
Hmm. Not good. NASA would undoubtedly be looking for him soon, if they weren’t already. He reached out to change course, but a sudden thought made him pause. NASA could have saucers anywhere in the world in less than ten minutes; it didn’t matter if he went to Florida or anywhere else.
Except Florida was where the National Revealer was published. The newspaper of the conspiracy set. Hundreds of thousands of people read it every week and believed every word. Delmer smiled as he slowed the UFO down and brought it in toward the Miami coast. Everything was going to work out fine. He’d be famous, a national hero.
Maybe he’d even get to meet Elvis.