“Your dad didn’t deport her.”
“He brought her to land. My aunt was dead, but my mom had kept her body in the boat. To bury her in free soil.” Carina’s eyes watered, as they always did thinking of what her mother must have been like when she was young. Thinking about the aunt she never knew.
“My father lied to his superiors, said he found the women on an island in the Keys. On land. They were inseparable, and a week later they married.”
“Fast.”
“They’ve been married forty-one years. Not bad for a quick engagement.”
“Not bad at all,” Nick said and kissed her forehead.
Carina didn’t know why she was compelled to tell Nick the story, except that she felt so right with him.
“You’re a great cop.”
“Hmmm.”
“You know, we all make mistakes. I should never have left you without backup at the Burns house.”
“You should never have gone into the restaurant without backup, either,” Nick told her.
“But,” she continued, “you saved Leah and the situation in the restaurant was contained. We make decisions, right or wrong, in a split second. We don’t always have the luxury of time.”
He kissed her. “You don’t need to remind me. I’ll never forget what happened today.”
“But I can honestly say I don’t know that anyone else would have done anything different under those circumstances. We trust our instincts, the gut-level impression born in the moment. When my dad broke the law to bring a Cuban immigrant to shore. When you inspected that cabin outside Bozeman. When I decided to act in the kitchen-and when I decided not to act.
“Mistakes happen. We pay the price and go on.” She kissed him.
He stared into her eyes, serious. “I love you, Carina.”
She sought out his lips. “I love you, too, Sheriff.”
They took their time, slow kisses and languid touches. A whisper, a murmur, skin on skin, hands entwined. This was making love. This was what Carina had been missing in her life.
She didn’t want to let him go.
Nick’s internal clock woke him before dawn. He leaned over, looked at Carina’s silhouette, her hair sprawled across the pink pillow. He smiled. Pink. He’d never have suspected that Carina Kincaid had a girlie streak that included frilly linens and pink decor, but somehow it suited her. Hard and focused on the outside, all woman on the inside.
He was going to miss her. Already, he regretted having to leave.
But his duty was to the people of Gallatin County. He was an elected official who had already been lax in his responsibilities since the Butcher investigation closed.
He’d been thinking about what needed to be done, and running away was not the answer. And if he stayed here in San Diego, he’d be doing exactly that, running away from his problems and leaving the sheriff’s department in irresponsible hands. He’d given thirteen years of his life to the department, good and bad, and he couldn’t turn his back on the men and women who had stood by him in his darkest hour.
His flight left later that morning; he needed to be on it.
He didn’t want to leave.
Silently, he rose from the bed and rubbed his knee. He also had the surgery coming up. He couldn’t miss it.
He wanted Carina there with him.
“Cara,” he whispered in her ear. “I need to talk to you.”
Her eyes fluttered open, darker in the dim light. “Nick?” Her voice was thick with sleep.
“You awake?”
“Yeah.” She sat up, rubbed her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I want to marry you, Carina. Come to Montana with me.”
She stiffened beside him and he frowned. What was wrong? “Carina?”
She swung her bare legs over the side of the bed. “Montana?”
“That’s where I live.”
“But I live here!” Tears welled in her eyes. “I thought you understood. This is my family. My life. My career.”
He swallowed, his chest tight. “You knew I was going back to Montana today.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Come with me.”
“I can’t. For the first sixteen years of my life I moved all over the country. Every year a new school. Every year a new house, new friends, new parks. I never made a real friend until my father retired here, in San Diego. I’ve been here for nearly twenty years. My friends are here. My job. My family!”
She was right. He couldn’t ask her to leave.
And he couldn’t give up his career, either.
She must have seen the realization on his face. She reached for him. “Nick, please. Don’t go.”
He swallowed hard, tears stinging his eyes. “I have to.” He touched her cheek, whispered. “I have to.”
He tilted her chin up. The tears in her eyes made him ache. He wanted to tell her he’d never forget her. That he would always love her. That she had become the most important person in his life.
But he could say none of that. It wouldn’t be fair to her, and Carina deserved love just as much as he did. He didn’t want to trap her with some mind game.
He touched his lips to hers, tasted her for the last time.
“Good-bye.”
He picked up his bag and walked out.
THIRTY-SIX
DEPUTY LANCE BOOKER WALKED with Nick slowly across the bullpen.
“You did it. You manipulated Sam Harris out of the race.”
“Manipulate is such a strong word, Deputy,” Nick said, shuffling on his crutches. Today was his first full day back in the office after his knee surgery; he already felt the change in his body. The doctor said the surgery had been a miracle.
Maybe it was the change in attitude that made all the difference.
“All I did was play hardball. Just like he did to me before I left for San Diego last month.” They stood outside Nick’s office.
“I want to thank you for putting in a good word for me with Charlie Daniels. I promise, I won’t let you down.”
Nick nodded soberly. “You’ve never let me down, Lance. You’re a good cop. You’ll serve Sheriff Daniels well.”
Nick had convinced Charlie Daniels, the former deputy now in charge of Search and Rescue, to run for sheriff. His family had practically founded Bozeman, and his name kept Sam Harris out of the race. He had a clear field, and had agreed to keep Nick’s team in place.
“And you?”
Nick took a deep breath. “I’m going to get back into shape. And I’m moving to San Diego.”
“To be closer to your brother?”
“That, and other things. You know that song ‘I Left My Heart in San Francisco’?”
Booker tilted his head. “You left yours in San Diego?”
Nick grinned. “Now get back to work. For now, I’m still in charge.”
Booker left and Nick swung himself back on his crutches across the rest of the large headquarters. Slowly, reminding himself not to overdo it. He needed to be in prime condition next weekend when he surprised Carina with a visit-to properly propose to her.
He was going to miss Montana; he missed Carina a whole lot more. The one thing he’d longed for his entire life was unconditional love, and when he’d finally found it, he’d walked away.
He was going to rectify that mistake.
“Hello, cowboy.”
As if he’d conjured her from his thoughts, Carina sat in his chair, boots on his desk, faded jeans and black T-shirt. She wore his hat on her head and had left her thick hair down.
She was the most beautiful thing he’d laid eyes on since he left San Diego three weeks ago.
It hit him then that Carina had come to him. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her, devour her mouth with his, take her home to his bed. She wanted him, even though juggling their careers over the next few months wasn’t going to be easy. She wanted him and she loved him, he could see it all in her expressive eyes.