A woman's illogic, they had been lovers since leaving Shallah-why should the present incident carry such importance?
He said, quietly, "I'm not going to argue with you, Dephine. We both know what I promised. Anyway, why be upset? All I want to do is to take a look at the ship."
"Is that why you're up and dressed? Earl! You can't leave me! I won't let you!"
He backed as she lunged towards him, feeling the touch and scrape of her metal nails on his face, the impact too light to have broken the skin. His own hand lifted, came down to slap her cheek.
"Keep those damned nails to yourself! I warned you what I'd do if you used them against me again!"
"Earl, I'm sorry!" Tears filled her eyes, falling as she turned to splash against her naked thighs. "I couldn't help it. It's just that the very thought of losing you makes me desperate. Please try to understand. I'm in love with you. For God's sake, man, don't you realize what that means?"
Sweetness and pain, the ineffable joy of affection and the haunting fear of loss. The vulnerability of total surrender. The willing discarding of all defenses and the embracing of the unknown. How easy to hurt a creature who loves. A word, a sneer, a curt gesture, a momentary indifference. How easy to suffer anguish.
How quickly to lose the paradise of the mind and senses.
He said, thickly, "Yes, Dephine, I know what it means."
"Then you forgive me?"
"I forgive you. Get up and get dressed and join me below. If I'm not there wait for me."
"You'll wait for me? You promise?"
"The ship won't be leaving yet," he reminded her. "And if Navalok's still waiting he'll be hungry."
* * * * *
The boy sat in the lower room, his face peaked, his lips blue as he hunched before a smoking fire. A devoted attendant who had spent the night in the raft, entering the hotel only at dawn.
"I saw the ship land, Earl," he said. "The raft is ready if you want to use it."
"I won't."
"But-" His eyes moved towards the stairs. "I thought that you and the Lady Dephine would be traveling back to the House."
"Before you go anywhere you need to eat." Dumarest went in search of the owner and gave him instructions. To Navalok he said, "I've ordered food to be served. When Dephine comes down have her eat breakfast. Have a good meal now."
He left the boy hugging a steaming mug of tisane, stepping outside and feeling the chill drive of rain. The ship rested on the field, a twin to the one which had brought him to Emijar. The port was open and the ramp was down but there were no signs of anyone loading. The rain could have delayed the discharge of any cargo the ship may have carried and it was too early for workers to be at the warehouses.
"Earl!" Dephine called from the door of the hotel. "Earl, wait for me!"
Dumarest slowed and waited until she joined him. The rain dusted her hair with glittering gems. Together they walked to the trading post where the agent, more than anyone, would have information on the vessel. Early though it was he had risen and was hard at work. A sheaf of papers rested before him on the counter and a man wearing a captain's uniform sat drinking coffee at his side.
"Earl! A moment." Yamamaten finished checking the list. "This seems to be in order, Captain. I've a small consignment of hides, some selected grain and a variety of woven material for you. Little profit, I'm afraid, but it should cover your expenses." His eyes flickered towards Dumarest. "And a passenger if the price is right."
The captain grunted, "Stop your haggling, Telk. You know my price."
"I know what you ask, Captain, but that isn't always what you get. Earl, meet Captain Ying. Captain, your passenger if we can settle a price."
Dumarest met the cold stare of a man who had the eyes of a snake. The face matched, thin, wedge-shaped, the lips little more than a gash. A hard man plying a hard trade.
"So you want to ride with me," he said. "Is Telk holding your money?"
"Yes."
"Then we can settle a price. Be at the field at sunset."
"Sunset!" Dumarest turned as he heard the exclamation. Dephine lifted a hand to her lips and forced a smile. "So soon?"
"Why wait?" Ying gave a frosty smile. "There's no profit in hugging dirt." He added, thinking he knew the reason for her concern, "If it's too soon there's another ship heading this way. It would have been here before me if its generator hadn't broken down. It had to put in at Orteja for repairs. Maybe you could get a passage on that."
"No," said Dumarest. "I'll ride with you, Captain. I'll be at the field at sunset."
A good looking woman, thought the captain as they left the trading post. Any man would be reluctant to leave a woman like that though the reluctance had been on her side, not his. And they had the entire day to do what they wanted though, from the look of her, there was little they had left undone.
He said so and the agent smiled and settled down to discussing the price knowing that agreement was certain but enjoying the opportunity to haggle.
As they left the building Dephine said, "So you meant it, Earl. You're going."
"Yes."
"And if I wanted to come with you?"
He said, "You have until sunset to arrange it. I can't pay for your passage. I haven't any money."
"Then how-" She broke off. "Of course, Galbrene's personal jewelry. I should have known." Halting she turned to look at him, tilting back her head, the gesture revealing the long column of her throat. The rising sun caught her hair and turned it into lambent copper; a halo graced with dying rainbows from the droplets of rain still clinging to the strands. "Earl!"
She was lovely and she knew it. A superbly built woman with a face matching her nature. One who would be at the side of the man of her choice no matter where he might choose to go.
Dumarest said, flatly, "Dephine, I have to go."
"To search for your world," she said, fiercely. "To risk your life a thousand times in order to chase a legend. All right, Earl, Earth exists, I won't argue, but even if you find it will you have found more than you're throwing away at this moment?"
"I don't know."
"But you must look." Smiling she shook her head, a mother gently chiding a child, a wife, the eccentricities of her man. "I'm not good at saying goodbye, Earl. Even now I can't quite believe that you are going to leave me. It doesn't seem possible that we shall never see each other again. But one thing before you go. Please."
He could afford to be patient. "What?"
"Let us have a picnic. One in the place I spoke to you about where there is a lake and a house and the land is kind. It will be like living my dream. A few hours of happiness, Earl. Something for me to remember when you are gone."
* * * * *
Navalok handled the raft, sending it high into the clear air. The rain had ceased shortly after dawn and the sun now blazed with a comforting warmth. The breakfast had been good and his passengers seemed to be in harmony. Food and wine had been packed in a hamper and it promised to be an excellent day.
Looking at the youth Dephine said, "Return in a few years, Earl, and maybe you'll see a boy you'll recognize. One who will look like you and whom I will teach never to be afraid."
"Are you telling me you're pregnant?"
"Would you believe me if I did?" She smiled at him, her eyes enigmatic. "And could you ever be sure that I wasn't telling the truth?" Then, before he could answer, she leaned forward and said, "To the right, Navalok, through that pass and then to the left. The house is in a hollow about a mile beyond."