“These are troubling times,” StarWind stated. “Temiker has known about the Sakovans for years and has never revealed anything to anyone. While he has never been to StarCity, he has been allowed to pass through the Sakova before. I find him trustworthy as WinterWind did. She confided in him. That is why your mother asked you to have him contact RavenWing. Temiker knew how to do that. He will not betray us and that is what matters to us.”
Lyra was excited about seeing her uncle again, but her face soon clouded over with confusion. “StarWind, if WinterWind’s children were supposed to return to the Sakova, why didn’t she ever tell us? I never knew anything about the Sakovans and Alfred even went off to join the Monitors. It doesn’t make sense.”
StarWind stared into the fireplace for some moments before turning to face Lyra. “You were not old enough to return to the Sakova yet. That is why she never told you. She would have soon, but she never got the chance. Alfred did return to us.”
StarWind reached out and laid her hand on Lyra’s arm to stop her from trying to form a question unnecessarily. “Alfred was known as LoneBadger to us. He underwent training here in StarCity and volunteered to penetrate the Katana’s bodyguard. He was very enthusiastic and very talented. No Sakovan has ever gotten that close to the Katana before and it is a credit to his ability that he was able to do it. The loss of LoneBadger was the gravest loss the Sakovans have had in many years. I knew your brother personally and he was a close friend to me.”
The shock rippled through Lyra’s body and she started crying. StarWind reached out to comfort Lyra, but Lyra pushed her away. StarWind sat patiently waiting for Lyra to cry herself out, but Lyra rose and threw herself on the bed.
“Leave me,” Lyra shouted through her tears. “You used my mother and used my brother, but you are not going to use me. The Sakovans just use people. Go away.”
StarWind rose and walked to the door. She stopped with her hand on the door and turned towards Lyra. “Yes we use people,” StarWind admitted, “but we do not use them without their permission. WinterWind and LoneBadger died for the Sakovans because they believed in the Sakovans with all their heart. The safety and continued existence of the Sakovan people meant more to them than their own lives did. Do not sully your memory of them Lyra, by thinking that anyone used them for a purpose which they did not fully embrace on their own. They both went forth knowing the risks and accepting them because they believed in what they were doing. I have no doubt that they would have gone even knowing the outcome beforehand. They were true Sakovans and we will all lay down our lives for our people. Praise them for their actions and treasure their memories with love. I know I do.”
Lyra heard the door click shut as StarWind’s words echoed through her mind. Easy for her to say, Lyra thought. It was not her mother and her brother who were dead. She wanted desperately to run away and put StarCity behind her, but she knew they would not let her leave. Even Antello and Syman were content to stay now and she would have to leave on her own if she got the chance. She would get the chance she decided. She was not going to be callously used as the rest of her family had been. Nobody was going to decide what she did with her life. Nobody.
Lyra stormed out of her room and out of the palace. She ran for some time along the city streets until she could no longer run. She continued walking aimlessly through the city, her mind seething with the injustice of life. The Sakovans had torn apart her life and her family and they did not care. There was no sorrow for Rhodella. Nobody cared that Alfred was dead. They talked a lot about love for their fellow Sakovans, but she never saw them show love to anyone. Lyra stopped and gazed at the Sakovans around her. She watched their faces as they passed and realized that they were all devoid of passion. She saw no love, no hatred, no confusion, nothing. What type of creatures were these people she wondered? How can you go through life without feelings? Did nothing matter to them? Didn’t they care about anyone?
The streets were starting to empty as the sky darkened and Lyra looked about and realized that she did not know where in the city she was. She saw the outer wall of the city and decided to follow it until she came to one of the main spokes, which would lead back to the palace. She needed desperately to talk to someone, but there was nobody she could trust to tell her the truth. StarWind just told her whatever was needed to get Lyra to devote her life to the Sakovan cause. Antello and Syman didn’t understand the Sakovans enough to explain to her how they could be so callous.
As she approached one of the spokes, she saw the entrance to one of the large gardens and decided to enter and think for a while longer. She had no appetite for eating right now and there was nothing else for her to do besides sit in her room and sulk. She wound down the pathways in the midst of the beautiful flowers and bushes, but she didn’t notice them. She stopped at the intersection of two paths and sat on a stone bench, soaking in the solitude and willing it to bring peace to her mind. Her solitude shattered as familiar voice addressed her.
“Lyra!” MistyTrail exclaimed. “Are you in need of hope too?”
Lyra looked at the little warrior quizzically. “Hope?”
“This is the Garden of Hope,” MistyTrail explained. “I came here to meditate and seek hope for our journey into the wilderness. We are off tomorrow to find the other assassins. HawkShadow does not feel good about this mission. He thinks that we will not all return from this one. I hope he is wrong.”
“I hope so too,” Lyra found herself saying. At least MistyTrail had always been honest with her, she thought. Maybe the little fighter would tell her the truth. “MistyTrail, do Sakovans ever have emotions? Do they care about anything?”
MistyTrail cocked her head and stared at Lyra and then smiled. She sat down next to Lyra. “Certainly. Everyone has emotions. There is not a Sakovan in this city that does not feel emotions, but we do not show them easily. Each Sakovan is required to spend time in Omunga at one time or another. We are trained to guard our emotions so that we never give anything away. A wrong showing of emotion at an improper time can mean death, but that does not mean we are without feelings.”
“But I never see any emotions from Sakovans, even in StarCity. Why?”
“You cannot turn your emotions on and off at will,” MistyTrail explained. “You cannot show emotions in StarCity and then not show them in Alamar. Such a mistake can be deadly, so we learn to show none at all. I imagine it can take quite a getting used to for someone new in the city.”
Lyra churned MistyTrail’s words over in her mind and felt the little Sakovan’s hand lay gently on her arm. “I will tell you a secret,” she said. “Judge a person’s feelings by their actions, not their expressions. Expressions can be contrived, but false actions are easier to spot. Try going to someone who you know does not like you and put your arm around him. You will feel his body move away from you slightly. He can’t help it. It’s involuntary.”
Lyra thought about the advice and realized that MistyTrail’s hand lay gently on her arm. Slowly she nodded her head in understanding. “Did you know LoneBadger?”
“Not well,” MistyTrail admitted. “I met him a few times, but I did not really know him. I spend most of my time in the wilderness. I know now that he was your brother. I am sorry for you.”
“What can you remember about him?” queried Lyra.
“You should talk to StarWind about him,” offered MistyTrail.
“I do not want to talk to StarWind about him,” Lyra replied, perhaps a bit too harshly. “I want to know the truth about him, not some Sakovan prepared speech intended to make me want to follow in his footsteps.”
MistyTrail went quiet and Lyra felt the little warrior’s hand tighten on her arm slightly. “You are wrong about StarWind,” MistyTrail said softly. “There are many Sakovans who feel strongly about dedicating their life to the cause and certainty she is one of them, but StarWind is the last person who would try to force that feeling on someone else. Come with me.”