‘If it wasn’t for me—’
‘If it wasn’t for you, everything would be okay. You think you’re above it all, don’t you? You think you’re more important than everyone else. The army dragged us out of here this morning. The bloody army! And even that’s not enough to stop you. Now look at us, stuck in a single shitty room in this shitty house. Like I said, from one prison cell to another. What’s next? Seems to me there’s nowhere left to go now. We’re stuck here. We’ll probably die here.’
‘Don’t say that,’ Michelle protested. She tried to get to Tammy but Scott wouldn’t let her through. He held her back.
‘You just don’t get it, do you?’ he said to Tammy. ‘You’re all fuck ups, the bloody lot of you.’
‘I don’t have to listen to this.’
‘But you do, don’t you? Because it’s not up to you, it’s up to me.’
Tammy stood her ground, tears of anger running down her face. ‘This was our last chance, Scott, don’t you get it? I’m not going to let you drag us all down anymore.’
She went for the door but he caught her shoulder and pulled her back, throwing her down onto the sofa, crushing George who yelped with pain. ‘Leave her alone!’ Michelle screamed and she threw herself at Scott. He spun around and caught her by the throat, fingers digging into her neck. She tried to speak but couldn’t, choking on her words.
‘Stop it!’ Phoebe yelled.
Scott let go of Michelle and pushed her away but she came at him again, arms flailing. He swung out as she launched herself at him, punching her in the face. Stunned, just adrenalin keeping her moving now, she lunged at him again. He punched her for a second time, a quick, brutal jab. She swayed momentarily then dropped to the ground, out cold.
When he looked around, Tammy had gone. Phoebe ran to help her mother but Scott stopped her. ‘Get up to your room and don’t move,’ he ordered. ‘Take a step outside this bloody house and the same’ll happen to you. Got it?’
She scooped up her little brother and held him close, cowering in the corner until Scott had gone.
The front door was open but he couldn’t see Tammy. Little bitch. Where had she gone? He ran out to the road and ducked down instinctively when a military helicopter thundered overhead, flying low on its way out of Thussock, filling the air with pressure and noise. He couldn’t see Tammy anywhere. He ran back and did a quick circuit of the outside of the house… nothing.
‘I know you’re still here,’ he shouted over the wind and the fading helicopter noise, certain she was hiding nearby. ‘You’re on your own now, you hear me? This family’s better off without you. Don’t bother coming back, dumb little bitch.’
Breathless, he looked up and down the length of the back garden once more then went inside. He stood in the hallway and listened to the silence. He could hear Phoebe and George upstairs, but other than them, nothing.
Thank Christ for that.
The unexpected quiet was blissful. No one shouting at him or accusing him of anything for once. No one arguing or trying to tell him what to do… Why couldn’t they have always been like this?
He knew what he had to do now. Tammy leaving had made it all that much easier. ‘The key to staying together and surviving now,’ he told Michelle who remained facedown and motionless on the living room floor, ‘is keeping apart.’
Scott fetched himself a can of beer from the fridge and knocked it back in a couple of quick, gassy gulps, then he picked up his toolbox from the corner and carried it to the living room. Michelle was beginning to come around. Her face was a mess. He regretted that – he always did – but it had been necessary. She had to learn. She needed to know her place in this household and this kind of thing was just going to keep happening again and again until she got it right. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had any warnings. He’d told her over and over. When was she going to stop talking and start listening?
‘Scott…?’ she mumbled, though she was drifting in and out of consciousness and it was difficult to speak through the blood and spit and broken teeth.
‘Be quiet, love,’ he told her, standing over her. ‘It’s gonna be all right.’
She tried to get up but couldn’t. She slurred another word. Or was it a groan? He couldn’t tell.
‘I don’t like hurting you,’ he said, ‘but it’s not my fault. You bring it on yourself. You could have avoided all of this.’
‘I’m sorry…’
He left her lying in the middle of the room.
‘Stay there and get your strength back. I’ll check on you later.’
She tried to protest but couldn’t. She could barely move. Her body was a dead-weight, nothing working how it should have. All she could do was watch as he shut the door.
The hammering startled her. It seemed to go on forever, the noise hurting her already throbbing head, but it stopped eventually, the door nailed shut.
Phoebe was crouching at the top of the stairs, George just behind her. When they heard him coming they ran back into her room and hid on the far side of the bed. He appeared in the doorway. ‘You here?’
‘We’re here,’ Phoebe answered, sitting up slightly so he could see her.
‘Good girl.’
‘Where’s Tammy?’
‘She’s gone.’
‘What about Mum?’
‘Your mother’s fine. She’s downstairs.’
‘What was the banging?’
‘You know how this thing spreads, don’t you Pheeb?’
She nodded but didn’t want to say. ‘Yes…’
‘So the safest thing is for us all to stay in the house but keep apart from each other, right? You and George should be okay ’cause you’re just kids, but it’s different for me and your mum. You understand?’
‘Think so.’
‘Good girl,’ he said again.
He shut the door, picked up his hammer, and took a handful of three inch nails from his pocket. Just as he had downstairs, he worked his way around the edge of the door, hammering the nails through the door itself at an angle and deep into the frame.
He was dripping with sweat by the time he’d finished, his hands and arms heavy and numb. He leant against the door. ‘All done,’ he shouted to Phoebe. ‘It’s for your own good. I’m just doing what I have to do to keep us all safe.’
32
It might have been hours later, it might have only been minutes. Scott wasn’t sure. He was sitting in the hallway in almost complete darkness, leaning with his back against his bedroom door. The house was still largely silent, but the noise outside had increased again. There’d been more traffic on the road, pretty much all of it heading out of Thussock now. He’d seen some of it from the kitchen window. It had looked almost exclusively military.
‘You there, Scott?’
He sat up fast, not sure if he’d imagined Michelle’s voice. He moved towards the living room, crawling through empty beer cans. ‘I’m here.’
‘Let me out, love.’
‘You know I can’t.’
‘But I’m scared in here.’
‘And I’m scared out here. This is the only way to be sure, you know it is.’
‘My face hurts. I think you broke my nose.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I’m tired of this, love. I’m tired of you hurting me.’
‘I had to do it. You know that.’
‘I know.’
‘You were hysterical. You were scaring Phoebe and George.’
‘I know.’
‘It won’t happen again.’