"Yeah, I know…but I never thought about the logistics too hard. I thought we were all disparate—remember? They do their thing, we do ours? Now you're mixing it up like…like…we're all doing the same thing. "
"Yeah," said Cody. "Which one's right?"
Angel and demon shared smirks.
" 'What is truth?' Pilate asked." Carter just couldn't stay away from his quotes. His eyes held barely contained laughter.
I sighed again, knowing we'd get no better answer from either of them.
As our evening get-together wound down, Bastien unhappily declared he had to leave for Detroit. He made his farewells to the others, and then I walked him out.
We stood outside the pub, wrapped in our own thoughts as locals and tourists alike moved through Pioneer Square. Finally, at the same time, we spoke.
" Fleur —"
"Bastien—"
"No, let me go first," he said adamantly. I nodded for him to go on. "What I did at the hotel wasn't right. I shouldn't have led you into that—especially when you told me right off not to. And what I said to Seth at your place…that was unforgivable. Yeah, I was pretty sloshed, but that's no excuse. Not by a long shot."
I shook my head. "God knows I've done a lot of stupid things while drunk. And people, for that matter. But don't beat yourself up too bad—at least not over what happened…uh, between us. You were right. I wasn't a victim; I went along with that. I made my own choices, choices that I have to deal with."
"It doesn't matter. You shouldn't forgive me. Especially after you saved me on the Dana thing. You figured out what I'd been too blind to see. No, I'm definitely beyond forgiveness."
"Maybe. But I'm going to forgive you anyway." I gave him a playful punch. "And you can't stop me."
"Only a fool would stand in your way," he said gallantly. "But I still don't think I deserve it."
"Bas,I've seen people come and go for over a thousand years. Hell, I've seen civilizations come and go. I don't have many constants in my life. None of us do. I don't want to write off one of the best ones I've got. "
He opened his arms for me, and I rested my head against his chest, sad that he'd be going away again. We stood like that for a long time, and then he broke away so that he could look at me.
"Confession time: I didn't have sex with you for altruism. You were right about that. And I didn't do it just because I could either. I did it because I wanted you. Because I wanted to be closer to you." He touched my cheek and winked. "You're worth ten Alessandras. You would be worth going to Guam for."
"What about Omaha?"
"No one's worth going to Omaha for."
I laughed. "You're going to miss your flight."
"Yeah." He hugged me again, then hesitated before speaking. "There's one more thing you need to know. The day after my, uh, idiotic drunken outburst, Seth came to see me."
"What?" I racked my brain. That would have been during the time I was preparing for the Fest. "Why?"
"He wanted to know what happened. Between us. All the details."
"What'd you tell him?"
"The truth."
I stared off at nothing.
"That guy's crazy about you," Bastien said after a moment's silence. "Love like that…well, hell itself has trouble standing against love like that, I think. I don't know if a succubus and a human can really make things work, but if it can happen, he'll be the one it happens with." He hesitated. "I think, no, I know I was a little jealous of that…both that he had your love and you had someone who loved you like that." He gave me a bittersweet smile. "Anyway. Good luck. I'm always here if you need me."
"Thank you," I said, hugging him again. "Keep in touch. Maybe we'll get assigned together again some day."
The roguish look, long absent during our solemn conversation, flashed to his face. "Oh, the trouble we could cause. The world isn't ready for us again."
He pressed a soft, sweet kiss against my lips, and then he was gone. A minute later, I felt Carter's presence behind me.
"Parting is such sweet sorrow."
"That it is," I agreed sadly. "But that's life, mortal or immortal."
"How's your high-wire act with Seth going?"
I turned to him, almost having forgotten that reference. "Bad."
"Did you look down?"
"Worse than that. I fell off. I fell off and hit bottom."
The angel regarded me with his steady gaze. "Then you'd better get back on."
I choked on a bitter laugh. "Is that possible?"
"Sure," he said. "As long as the wire hasn't snapped, you can always climb back on."
I left him and walked a few blocks to catch a bus back to Queen Anne. While I was waiting, I blinked and did a double take as Jody walked by. I hadn't talked to her in ages. After the Dana scandal, Mitch and Tabitha Hunter had dropped off the face of the Earth.
I left the bus stop and ducked into a dark doorwayа laSuperman. A moment later, I hurried to catch up with her as Tabitha.
"Jody!"
She stopped and turned around. Her brown eyes widened when she recognized me.
"Tabitha," she said uncertainly, waiting for me to get to her. "It's good to see you."
"You too. How are things?"
"Okay." We stood there awkwardly. "How are you? I mean, after everything…" Her cheeks crimsoned.
"You don't have to avoid the topic. I can deal with it," I told her gently. "It happened. Nothing to be done about it now."
She looked down at her feet, clearly troubled. "I've been wanting to tell you something. It wasn't…it wasn't just you, you know." She looked back up, embarrassed. "She sort of, you know, approached me too, and we did some things…things I didn't really want to do. But I couldn't say no either. Not to her. It was a rough time in my life…"
So. I wasn't Dana's first taste of forbidden fruit. The notion that she had forced Jody appalled me, more so than Dana throwing herself into rallies that denied her own nature. Suddenly, I didn't feel so sorry for her anymore.
"Then she got what she deserved," I declared icily.
"Maybe," said Jody, still looking upset. "It's been a disaster for their family. I feel the worst for Reese. And then there's the CPFV…they're a disaster too."
"Maybe it's for the best," I said neutrally.
She gave me a sad half-smile. "I know you don't believe in them, but they do have potential to do good. I'm actually on my way to a meeting right now. We're going to decide the fate of the group. I don't think we'll disband…but I don't know what direction we'll go in either. There are some people who think just like Dana. They're not a majority, but they're loud. Louder than people like me."
I remembered our gardening conversation. "And you still want some of the things you talked to me about? Helping those who need help now?"
"Yes. I wish I could walk right in there and speak up. If I could get enough people's attention, I think we could really go in a new direction. A better direction that might actually affect change instead of just censuring and calling people names."
"Then you should do exactly that."
"I can't. I don't have the skill to talk to people like that. I'm not that brave."
"You have the passion."
"Yeah, but is that enough if I can't get it out?"
Suddenly, I had to fight a giddy smile from taking over my face. "I've got something for you," I told her, reaching into my purse. "Here. Take this."
I handed her the last packet of ambrosia. It was dangerous, perhaps, to give it to a mortal, but one dose wouldn't hit her too badly, and she'd never be able to get more. Besides, taking the temptation away from me was probably for the best.