Hecht grew uncomfortable in a different way.
Had he misjudged? Was she just venting secret torments? Ridding her soul of things she could not share with anyone else because anyone else would use her revelations as political tools?
“Commander, I’m dying. Slowly, but definitely getting there.”
“Uh…”
“It isn’t just the poison. Though I’ll never fully recover from that.”
“But…”
“The second pregnancy. It did something to me. Sometimes I’m deathly sick. The physicians and healing brothers can’t figure it out. Can’t make it go away. I piss purple and turn blue. It brings on episodes of madness. I don’t know that while they’re happening. People tell me, afterward. When it’s sometimes too late to undo the damage.”
Hecht was becoming more comfortable in his discomfort. This was, indeed, just a guided tour of Katrin’s inner hell. “Not to insult you in any way. Have the healers considered exorcism?”
“I’m sure they’ve discussed it. They haven’t had the nerve to suggest it. Should I raise the matter myself?”
“That might ease their fears.”
“When we get back to Alten Weinberg, then. Meantime, I have a new assignment for you.” Katrin left her seat, moved to a shadowy corner where she fiddled briefly with a wall hanging. Her hands were shaking. “Help me with this, please.”
“All right.” He shoved his chair back, rose, went.
Katrin’s gown collapsed around her. There was nothing but pallid, lean woman underneath. She stepped out, spread the gown around, dropped to hands and knees atop it, lowered her forehead onto her folded hands.
“Your Grace!”
“You know what you have to do.”
“I can’t! It’s not…”
“Then I’ll have a new Commander of the Righteous in the morning.”
Her tone left no doubt she meant what she said.
Even so, he had to debate himself before he began, reluctantly, to unbuckle.
This could not be good. In no way. It might cost him big, and forever. But he could not give up being Commander of the Righteous to avoid it.
His choices might have nothing to do with his intellect if his flesh refused to perform.
“Your Grace, this isn’t the best way.”
“This is the way I know. This is the way Jaime taught me. He wasn’t interested in any other way. Sometimes he missed the proper channel. He didn’t care.”
And still the man obsessed her.
Hecht could think of no escape save resignation.
His body was more easily swayed than his mind. He had been away from Anna for a long time.
Hecht executed his Empress’s demands, amazed to find her ready and further amazed that she responded once she understood that he would not be brutal.
Katrin was made different than Anna, in there. He did not have enough experience of women to understand what that might mean. If anything.
Self-loathing, dread of potential repercussions, even concern that he might disappoint the Empress, made him last longer than ever he had with Anna.
Katrin became deeply embarrassed after it was over, Hecht suspected more because of her behavior during than because of what she had done to make it happen. He had no idea what to say except to express an unromantic concern. “What happens if that quickens?”
“Another of my husband’s blessings, Commander. I told you. My last pregnancy left me barren.”
“I didn’t know.” That was explosive news.
“No one should. I shouldn’t have told you. That information could be dangerous to the Empire, internally and externally. Don’t mention it to anyone. Especially not those idiots who are always scheming in my sister’s name.”
“Of course not.” She had just pulled him in further. He was deeply invested in her. He needed her reign to go on. Those idiots who schemed in Helspeth’s name did not love him. Verbally, he admitted what he had confessed with his flesh. “My post is too important to me to risk on gossip.”
Possibly not the best thing to say despite the absence of romance in the situation. But Katrin was no more experienced than he.
“Thank you, Commander.” She finished shrugging into her gown. “For everything. Are you all right? You look pale.”
“My wound. I didn’t feel it while… It’s reminding me that I’m not supposed to indulge in strenuous activity. Even now.”
Flicker of a smile. Self-congratulation? “You’d best get back to less arduous labors, then. Before someone imagines a reason for a new wicked rumor.”
“As you command, so shall it be, Your Grace.”
“Of course.” To herself more than him, she said, “A pity I couldn’t be Helspeth.” Louder, “Commander, this didn’t happen. I had an idea about attacking Hovacol on the way home. I sent the others away because I’m convinced that one of my lifeguards is spying for King Stain. I’m quite mad on that point. In fact, I’m starting to see spies everywhere. It took you all this time to talk me out of the invasion.” She paused, then added, “I really have been thinking about Hovacol. I talked it over with my people.”
“Smart thinking, Your Grace. But, don’t. It’s a side issue.”
Just how smart? Was she manipulating everyone? Had the past half hour been the product of a longtime scheme? If so, how often were her sicknesses and mad spells tactical?
On reflection, he concluded that was not the Ege style. Both daughters wanted people thinking they were more fierce, straightforward, and stubborn than their father had been.
Vircondelet was waiting when Hecht returned to their makeshift headquarters in the former employee barracks. “Wow! You don’t look so good, boss. What happened?”
“The wound is barking back. I got excited and tore something. What’re you still doing here?”
“They’ll move out at dawn. With de Bos doing the moving, if that’s all right. He’s got something going back in the berg. I don’t. How did you tear it?”
“I lost my temper. I’m starting to think I outsmarted myself, signing on with this madwoman.”
“Sir! That kind of talk…”
“I’ll be more circumspect. I promise.” He settled into a rickety chair, gingerly. There would be no sudden moves for a while.
Others from the duty section began to gather.
Again, Vircondelet asked, “What happened?”
“She was all about Hovacol and King Stain again. She wanted to attack them on the way home. And wouldn’t listen when I told her we don’t have the numbers and we’ll be too busy hauling falcons and firepowder and trying to avoid Eastern troops to go haring off on an adventure she dreamed up because some pipsqueak local tyrant doesn’t share her religious prejudices.”
Several men groaned. Vircondelet asked, “Do we have to? We’ll need to start planning right now.”
“No. I talked her out of it. For now. But she won’t forget it. I just need to keep her eyes on the Holy Lands. By the way. Don’t mention this to her people. She’s sure some of them are spies for King Stain.”
Hecht saw nothing to suggest suspicion of bad behavior on his part.
A clerk asked, “What is it with her? All this holy war stuff.”
“She isn’t well. And she thinks she’s sicker than she really is. She doesn’t want to be another Lothar.”
“She wants to make a splash that will buy her passage into Paradise?”
“So it would seem, Mr. Tharep. With luck, stubbornness, and a lot of yelling, I weaseled us out. Now, if we have to travel tomorrow I’d better go lay me down and let this wound recover some.”
Nervous discomfort. Some of these men could not get past their commander having been slain, then returned to life. No argument could quiet their conviction that the Night had intervened. Not that it was, ipso facto, always bad to be hallowed by the Night.
They were unaware that the Night already knew him as the Godslayer.
Hecht lay back on his commandeered cot and failed to fall asleep. Katrin would not get out of his thoughts. Inevitably, when he replayed specifics, she morphed into the Princess Apparent.