“You’re as good with words as you are to me. And that’s saying something.”
She coloured faintly under the make-up and he realised she was thinking back to their affair. He hated himself for the clumsiness of his compliment. He hadn’t meant to remind her of the past, not today of all days.
“I don’t suppose we’ll see each other much in the future,” she said. “Now I’ve got a buyer for the flat and Colin has this job lined up in Manchester.”
“I’ll be sorry to see you leave.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Oh dear. Colin’s pointing to his watch. I have to change, put on my going-away outfit. We have a tight schedule if we’re to catch the plane at Ringway.”
She proffered a hand, a gesture oddly formal and yet one which Harry found touching.
“Goodbye,” she said. “Look after yourself. And — thank you for the time we had together.”
She hurried away without giving him a chance to say anything more. He watched her slim figure become swallowed up in the group of well-wishers around her husband.
“Same again,” he said to the barmaid.
As she served him she said chattily, “Daft, isn’t it? Weddings are such happy times. And yet they always make me want to cry.”
As he drank he thought about Valerie and how bitter and betrayed she had sounded on the one occasion when, made brave by an evening at the Dock Brief, he had telephoned her flat to make a stumbling apology for his behaviour towards Julian Hamer at the Law Courts.
“Someone told me he was giving up the Bar,” he had said.
“That’s right. Now everyone knows about his state of health, he’s not getting any more briefs. The fact his brain is as sharp as ever is neither here nor there to most of the gutless members of your profession. Thank God the University has more sense. They’ve offered him a teaching post to start next term. He’ll be able to cope, even when he has to get around in a wheelchair.”
“It might not…”
“It might not come to that? Let’s not kid ourselves any more, Harry. Let’s be realistic.”
“And how are you?” he’d asked desperately, after a long pause.
“I was just getting ready for bed when you rang. I have a big trial tomorrow.”
“What sort of…”
“Look, I’m tired and I need sleep. I’m sorry, but I’m not in the mood for aimless chit-chat. I’ll see you around some time, all right? Goodnight.”
Even now he could hear the click of the receiver as she’d hung up. He cursed his curiosity. When would the demon inside him which craved an answer for everything learn that sometimes the happiest of endings lay in mysteries lacking a solution? How comforting it would be to have the confidence to start taking things on trust. Looking around at the people who surrounded him, their eyes shining with their calm certainties, to his dismay he felt his stomach churn with jealousy.
He became aware of someone standing by his side.
“What can I get you?” asked the well-scrubbed young man who had sat next to him during the meal.
“An unsuspicious mind,” said Harry.
He didn’t wait for a reply, but slipped off through the city towards the rear exit door that led to the car park, knowing that no one would notice him leave.