“Hey there,” the one wearing the purple fedora said. He wandered over to the car. The other stayed back, smoking a cigarette and scouting the neighbourhood for potential customers and cops.
“You after a good time?” he said, leaning into the open window.
“Sure,” Hartford said. “The best.”
“Well you’ve come to the right place,” the man said, and giggled. “I’m the best in Queens. But you’re not a cop are you?”
“A cop? Hell no,” Hartford said.
“Well that’s good. I was hoping a cutie like you wasn’t no cop. That would’ve been a shame. So, what’re you after?”
“I want the works,” Hartford said, remembering what the hooker had said to him last night.
“Well that requires a lot of dough, baby.” The man straightened and looked over Hartford’s car. “You sure you can afford me?”
“Sure,” Hartford said. “I can afford both of you.”
“Both,” the man gasped. He scratched his black skin, a dubious look on his face. “Boy, how much cash have you got?”
“A thousand,” Hartford said and showed him a thick stack of notes.
“Well I’ll be,” the man said. “You just wait right there, honeybunch.”
Hartford watched as the dude with the purple fedora hurried over to the man smoking the cigarette. He spoke to him for a short time, then they both came over. “You’ve got yourself two of the finest loving that money can buy,” purple fedora said. They hopped in and slammed the door. “Ooh, it’s nice and cool in here,” purple fedora said.
In the rear-view mirror, Hartford could see the other man — solid and rather mean-looking. A complete contrast to the petite features of purple fedora.
“You’re right,” the man with the cigarette said. “He is cute.”
“So where’re we going?” purple fedora said. “To some great big penthouse in Manhattan?”
“Afraid not,” Hartford said. “A regular house in Newark.”
“Boy,” purple fedora said. “You sure are a long way from Kansas, Dorothy.”
Hartford laughed. “Yeah. But the best men are found in Queens.”
“Don’t you know it,” purple fedora giggled.
“You’re kinda quiet, aren’t ya?” Hartford said to the smoker.
The man wound down the window, tossed the cigarette stub out, then rolled the window back up. He shrugged.
“My boy here is just shy. But he’s real good. You’ll see. He can suck cock like you wouldn’t believe. So, what’s your name, anyway?”
“Just call me Ed.”
“Ed huh?” purple fedora said. “Okay.”
“And what’s yours?”
“Just call me Tom.”
“And what’s his? Dick or Harry?”
Tom laughed. “I’ll let you find that out for yourself.”
Hartford was in the bathroom, naked and sticky with blood, gazing down at two severed heads. His arms were a little sore from the work last night, but he had powered through both men and had their heads off in less than two hours.
It had gone a lot smoother than it had the previous night. Both men had happily gone into the bathroom (this time Hartford had told them he wanted them all to have a shower first), and stripped without hesitation or question. And neither of the men had put up a fight when, all naked and in the bathtub, Hartford had plunged two kitchen knives into their throats. They hadn’t put up a fight because they weren’t at all expecting it. One moment Hartford was bending down to grab some (nonexistent) condoms from the pockets of his pants; the next each man had a wooden handle sticking out of his jugular.
It was as simple as that. And Hartford didn’t have to bother about performing any sexual acts. That sort of thing didn’t interest him in the slightest — he was much more excited about making his project.
Now came the real messy work.
He had found out last night just how messy stripping the skin off bodies was (cutting out the brain wasn’t exactly a charm, either). You not only had blood to contend with, but tissue, fat, and bone. Which, he had to be careful not to cut or chip in any way. He had been up all night and most of the morning working on the first part of his project. He then took a quick two-hour nap before spending the rest of the day stitching and sewing and cutting and fitting.
He had become somewhat proficient during that time, and would only get better.
So, with the razor-sharp scalpel clenched tightly in his hand, Hartford began slicing away the face of purple fedora.
It was three o’clock in the afternoon when Hartford finished the second part of his project. And he was very proud of his work. It had taken him less time to make three, than it had to make just one. The smaller ones he had made exactly the same as the first. As for the larger one, he had to strip the skin off the two bodies, as per usual, but this time he had to go further. He had to cut out the ribcage from one of the men. And that proved to be awkward, time consuming, and oh so messy. By the end, he had seemingly endless coils of intestines, some fatty livers, a heart, kidney, black sticky things that Hartford guessed were lungs, a stomach, piles of flesh, and a whole lot of gooey muck that didn’t seem to be anything.
Hartford had vomited a few times from the rank stench, and he of course had to be careful when taking the ribcage out, as any damage to it would destroy the quality of the work, and he would have to go through it all again just to procure another ribcage. But it had all gone smoothly. And with his magic touch with a needle and thread, Hartford had constructed his best ever.
It was drawing near. His project was almost complete.
Hartford was too worn out to drive all the way to New York that night. Working almost non-stop for two days and nights, with about two hours sleep, had taken its toll. However, he wanted to finish his project. He longed to see and feel it.
So he called two of his work mates (ex work mates now, Hartford thought with some bitterness) — Dave and Rochelle. Dave was his second cousin, a tall, lanky guy, funny, popular at work. Rochelle was attractive enough, was also popular at work, but not especially funny. They had been married for about two years now. He didn’t particularly like either one of them, but he had worked with them both for about five years, and Dave was a relative, so it was a sure bet they would come over. He figured it’d be a good time to settle some scores. Plus, he needed two spines.
“Hi Dave.”
“Hartford?”
“Yeah, of course it’s me. How are ya?”
“Yeah, fine. Ah, what’s up?”
“You busy tonight, buddy? You and Rochelle?”
There was murmuring in the background. Then: “Why?”
“I thought maybe you two would like to come over for some drinks. Talk about what happened. Words were said in the heat of the moment, things I’m sure we all regret. It would be nice if we could all make up. I don’t want my old job back or anything. I just thought we could settle things. Whaddya say?”
A long pause. Finally: “Ah, I guess. Okay. Sure. We’ll be over in an hour.”
“Super. See you then.”
Just over an hour later, Dave and Rochelle turned up. “Evening Hartford,” Dave said.
“It’s good to see you,” Rochelle said as she followed Dave into the house.
“Glad you both could make it. Come in and sit down.” Hartford led them into the lounge room. Dave and Rochelle took a seat on the sofa. “Drinks?”
“Please. I’ll have a whiskey. On the rocks.”
“And I’ll have a gin and tonic,” Rochelle said.
Hartford nodded, hurried over to the drink cabinet and made the drinks. When he returned, Dave smiled up at him. “So. What’re you up to? Things going well?”