His plan was crumbling, and if he didn’t regroup, it would all fall apart.
“So is this part of your grand plan?” East asked, coming to stand by Gage.
Gage hovered near the bonfire on East’s property, glancing across it to look at Chloe. After his earlier failed attempt to get his boss to send him on the rescue mission, he’d gratefully accepted East’s offer to join him and his many other friends for a barbeque. If he couldn’t be out on a rescue mission, he’d focus on the mission he’d come here to finish. Because truth was, Chloe hadn’t reached out to him since their date the other night.
Something in his heart had shifted that night. When he thought about the situation he’d put them both in, he had a hard time breathing. The possibility of leaving was more difficult to swallow than before, but so was staying.
“You’re just going to stare her down without saying anything?”
“Maybe,” Gage said. He had a plan. But after their date the other night, he was feeling less at ease about it. What had felt like a win-win was getting more complicated. He’d been so focused on what it meant to be with Chloe that he’d pushed one big issue to the back burner.
Staying.
And thanks to his boss, he now had the word at the forefront of his mind.
The word made his damn mind do somersaults. He wanted a lot of things, but Chloe was at the top of the list. After having an amazing evening with her, then another, he wanted to spend all his free time with her. So why did the idea of sticking around feel so heavy?
Maybe because it’s becoming more real…
And therein lay the snag she’d been warning him about from the beginning. It had nothing to do with wanting her—just the logistics of keeping her. They’d spent every encounter up until the other night in a fantasy world. It’d always been temporary, but now he didn’t have to leave. This time, whether he stayed or went was a choice—and it was daunting as hell.
He drank his beer. The night was beautiful—clouds hung low, and the smell of impending summer rain was in the air. But East was right. While Gage was pretending to look at the bonfire, he was really staring at Chloe standing across from it.
“Speaking of staring,” Gage said, changing the subject. “The cute girl in glasses keeps glaring at you. What’s going on there?”
East laughed. “Ah, sweet Natalie. She’s hated me since we were kids.”
Come to think of it, everyone there knew each other. Likely had for a long time. For a while, Chloe had been one of the few people Gage hadn’t been familiar with. And then that had changed. She’d gone from the intimate stranger he had casual sex with and instead had become…
That was the hell of it all. He had no idea what she had turned into. Or what she would become. What they would become. All this time, he’d assumed that if she just gave them a chance, they’d automatically see how well they fit together.
But his brilliant blackmail plan was biting him in the ass, because now he was messing with something he might not be able to get out of: a commitment to staying.
I can commit to a woman, but not a place…
That little gem of truth his buddy had laid down on him earlier was now pulsing harder than ever in his brain.
“Word around is the head of the Carolina Search and Rescue core retired and they’re looking to replace him. Rumor is they even offered this job to a specific person and still haven’t heard if said person is going to take this job.” East eyed Gage. “Hmmm, I wonder what this mysterious person will choose…” He tapped his beer and grinned at Gage.
Gage nearly knocked his friend flat on his ass. “So it was you who told the boss it should be me in the training position.”
East shrugged. “All I said was we should look for the right person.”
“This person is probably thinking training instead of searching is bullshit.”
“It’s a job, dude,” East said. “A good one. One you enjoy and you’re good at. This isn’t a hard choice.”
“I enjoy my job now. This new gig would be less fieldwork and more overseeing, scheduling, planning, and training.”
“Which you’re good at since you’re a tight-ass who always has a plan.”
Gage hit his friend with a hard look, and East held up his hands. “Don’t get your panties in a wad. I’m just telling you what I see. But I’d hate to offend your delicate feelers and get on your shit list.”
“My shit list is color-coded, asshole. And yeah, you’re officially on it now.”
East laughed. “Of course it is. Well then, in the spirit of friendly advice, maybe put down the spreadsheet and think about what you really want.”
“That’s what I’ve been doing.” Gage glanced back at Chloe. But it wasn’t as simple as what he wanted, because what he wanted conflicted with how he operated. He was a man on the move all the time.
“Any epiphanies?” East asked.
Gage shook his head. “No.” What he wanted hadn’t changed, but the way to go about it had. Maybe he needed more time. Staying wasn’t an option, but coming back regularly was. Keeping with his current routine was best. He got to come into town and be with Chloe. Hopefully more often, assuming he could convince her dating wasn’t so bad.
Either way, he could have Chloe, right?
For the first time, he wasn’t sure. This wasn’t a weekend in and out. This was more time, which was creating more of an attachment. It’d be so much more difficult to leave now, and yet staying terrified him.
“There’s a lot I have to consider,” Gage said. “I don’t have enough data yet.”
East shook his head. “So you’re going to continue pursuing Chloe until you gather your data?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing. I like her, so either way—”
“Either way, this could end badly,” East said.
“Since when do you know about pursuing relationships?”
“I openly admit I know nothing about relationships, and I’m good with that. But I know a lot about the pursuit. And trust me when I say you’re doing it wrong.”
Gage sighed. He wasn’t doing it wrong; he was being smart. Diligent. He was trying not to think with his dick, otherwise he wouldn’t have been blackmailing Chloe the way he was. So what the hell was East talking about?
“You going to tell her about the possibility of staying?” he asked.
“No, because I’m not going to be a trainer. And I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on Chloe.”
She already hated the notion of commitment longer than a weekend. If Gage moved here full time? He wasn’t prepared to see the terror on her face with that admission. No, he’d stick to his mission of getting her into a long-distance relationship. If she didn’t tell him to fuck off first…
And we’re back at square one.
“Still something to think about,” East said.
He drank and looked at Chloe again. He could get a grip. Find a balance and deal with this situation. If he used this time wisely, really slaked his need for her, at the end of this stay it’d be easier to leave for both of them. Hopefully she’d want him to come back. Hopefully she’d wait for him.
Or maybe he was insane.
“More data,” Gage repeated. It was all he could cling to. Getting lost in Chloe for a week or two was a hell of a good way to spend his time—and it’d clear things up in the process. At the end of his time here, he’d have a good idea of what Chloe wanted…and whether he could provide it.
Or maybe he’d hit the road for the next mission, and this time, she wouldn’t wait for him to come back.
And if that was the case, could he really blame her? He wanted Chloe to want and miss him, but he couldn’t stay. Which made him a special kind of asshole.
No…you’ve been honest. Haven’t over-committed to anything.