"I didn't mean Josh was a leech," he said quickly.
"I know you didn't." Jack brushed the words away with a quirk of his lips. "Anyway, he's coming over a bit later to check out all the papers and give us some advice."
"That's good." Riley pulled the pile of documents towards him and looked down at the jumble of legal words that swam on the paper. Jack cleared his throat in that I'vegot-something-to-tell-you way Riley had grown to hate.
"What else?" he asked. He decided he didn't really want to know as Jack couldn't exactly look him in the eyes. This was clearly something serious.
"There's not much else here. Except the birth certificate and um…"
"Um?"
"School transfer papers."
"Shit," Riley sat upright. "School. We need to get her to a school. Or do we have to get a private tutor? God Jack, what am I… What do normal parents do?"
Silence. Jack passed the school reports over. Riley glanced at them and certain words jumped right out at him. His kid—Hayley—well, she was bright.
"Okay, schools. She's eight. We can ask around about schools, and we can afford the best." He began pacing the small kitchen from scarred counter to oven and back again.
"We can worry about schooling later." Jack held out a hand to stop the pacing. "Let's just get Hayley settled."
"Riley?"
Eden's voice broke into his thoughts, and he looked up to see Hayley was standing at Eden's side and holding an envelope out to him. Eden's expression held a sadness he hadn't seen in a while, and Riley was instantly worried. What was wrong? Was there something wrong with Hayley? Jeez, he couldn't do this. He wasn't a dad. He was a grown man who had no experience with kids other than his brother's kids. The nanny looked after them. A nanny? Maybe he needed to get a nanny?
"Riley?" Eden's voice interrupted his musings, and he snapped back to the here and now. "Hayley says this letter is for you from a box of her mom's stuff," Eden explained.
He took the plain white envelope from his daughter carefully, like she was offering him a grenade. He pulled it into his chest.
"Mom said to tell you that you should read the letter," Hayley said as if from memory.
She subtly moved to stand at Riley's side, her small hand touching his arm. Riley turned in his chair to face Hayley. "She wrote letters to me too. Lots of them. She said it would make me understand."
"Oh, Hayley." Eden had a hand to her lips, blinking furiously as her eyes filled with tears.
"Mom said to give it to you when I found you. And I did. I found you," Hayley said simply.
She left Riley's side and pulled at Eden's hand, and together, the two girls moved into the hallway. Suddenly, Jack and Riley were very alone.
"You read it," Riley said instantly and slid the letter across the table. Jack pushed it back.
"It's yours, Riley."
"I can't."
"Take it outside and read it on your own." Riley started to interrupt, but Jack just kept talking. "I'll be here for when you want to talk, and I can go and help the girls. Okay?"
Riley was confused by Jack's words and by his reaction. Part of him wanted Jack to fix this for him like he fixed the rest of Riley's complicated life. The other part wondered why the hell this was happening to him, to Riley Hayes. Campbell-Hayes. Since when was he unable to at least face the shit his family landed him in?
"I'll be in the barn," he said tiredly, and only stopped his exit when Jack laid a hand on his arm.
"I'm here," his husband said, and for a second, he leaned in to Jack and bumped shoulders. It was enough touch to reassure him, and he felt braver for it.
* * * *
Their barn.
The place where Riley and Jack had talked, come to terms with each other, and had some of the hottest sex Riley had ever known. Every beam, every wall held memories, and there was even a stash of supplies hidden in a wooden box in the corner. It was their place away from the house, and the empty barn felt safe and secure. Though it still smelled of hay and horses, it had an aura of recent disuse by anyone other than them. He settled himself in the corner near the box, his back against the wall and his long legs stretched out in front of him.
The letter sat on his lap, and for a while, he just stared at it. He tried to consider worst-case case scenarios, but the only one he could come up with was that somehow, in this letter, it was revealed Hayley wasn't his. He closed his eyes and sent a prayer up to whoever looked down on him that, just for once, he could be strong enough to take whatever he was told and not feel overwhelming guilt for his family's actions. Maybe there was an innocent reason. Lexie could have left without even knowing she was pregnant, and it might have nothing to do with him or his family.
Taking a deep breath, he slid a finger under the side of the seal and opened the envelope. Two pieces of notepaper fell out into his hand along with a bundle of photos tied with a ribbon and a tiny key and heart on a chain. He remembered the chain; it was something he had bought for Lexie as a Valentine's gift. She had loved it and worn it every day. He clenched a fist around it, and summoning every bit of strength and courage he had, he opened the letter to read. Handwritten in black pen with sloping, regular lines and looped g's, it was a simple and beautiful thing to look at. Smoothing the letter on his lap, he began to read. It wasn't a polished letter. The sentences were short, as if thoughts had just spilled onto the paper, but on the second page, emotion showed in a line not perfectly straight and sentences holding more feelings than actual thoughts.
Dear Riley,
There is so much I want to write here, but I know nothing I write will let you totally forgive me for what I did. So I go into this with a heavy heart. I should call you. Or visit. But I can't. This illness was aggressive, and it came so fast on me. The time for talk has passed. I've gone from someone with plenty of tomorrows to being too sick to think rationally.
There's one thing I need to write, and it's vital I get it out of the way first. In a way, it's the most important of everything. I have a sister, Hayley's Aunty Sarah, and I'm sure you're questioning why I didn't have her take custody of Hayley. It's important you make sure she never gets custody in any way over Hayley. It isn't Sarah I worry about, but her husband, who makes everyone's life hell. He's bad news. And if you do nothing else, then please promise me you will protect Hayley with your life. God, how melodramatic does that sound? My will states Hayley should be with her daddy, but I know things can go wrong.