So I'm sort of dating this cute guy who's in a band.
It's a perfectly mindless fling.
And perfectly mindless is perfect right now.
The summer flew by with work, and the move and the guitar player. Soon, there is a chill in the air at night and even though the days are still hot, you can practically feel fall, and more importantly, football season in the air.
I haven't gotten to see much of Danny lately. He went to Wisconsin for the Chiefs' training camp and was named back up quarterback. I try to talk to Lori and him every few days and am thinking about calling them now, actually, when my phone rings.
I look at the caller ID and am happy to see Danny's name.
“So you're still coming down for the game on the 11th?” he says, without even saying hello.
“Hello, Danny, and it depends on how good my seats are.”
“Oh, they're very good, Jaybaby, you're sitting next to Phillip.”
I'm not sure what has happened to Danny since he started the NFL, but he says baby a lot. He and I have spent a lot of our time on the phone discussing the fact that I may very well be in love with Phillip. Actually, we have determined that I am in love with Phillip, and what my possible options are. I swore to him that I would talk to Phillip about how I feel tonight, while we get ready for the Husker Party we're having.
The Husker party is an annual event, celebrating the first game of the season. We've done it since high school. The venue has changed a lot, sometimes tailgates in Lincoln, sometimes at different houses, but the guest list stays pretty much the same. It's a fun way to keep up with old friends, and I'm really looking forward to it.
“I probably shouldn't tell you this, but did you know that Phillip is going out with Monica again? I think it's getting serious.”
“Really?” I'm surprised by this news because I got the distinct impression from Phillip that she was just bugging him again. “It doesn't sound serious to me.”
“Well, I think Phillip might be afraid to tell you.”
“Why? I'm dating someone too.”
“Jay, a drummer…..”
“Guitar player,” I interrupt and correct him.
“Does not count. I'm just trying to impress upon you the importance of your doing something this weekend.”
“I know, Danny. I know what I have to do, it's still just a bit scary to me.”
“I understand that, but I'm afraid if you don't, you'll lose him for good and to someone like Monica.”
“My life sucks.”
“Well, I expect to hear a progress report on Sunday night. And Jaaaayyyyy?”
“Yeah.”
“There had better be some progress,” he stresses and hangs up.
I pull up to my condo on Friday after work to find Jimmy, the guitar player, waiting for me. Jimmy has long hair and really does have a rock-n-roll star thing going on. My friends think he is really hot. He is, but he's nothing compared to Phillip, and Phillip is the only thing I can think about lately. Jimmy is just a decent diversion.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to take you with me.”
“With you where?” I reply, not following him.
“It's so exciting, Jadyn. The band is playing at the Bash tonight. There was a cancellation, and they called us to play at the last minute. There will be a bunch of music industry people there. This could be our big break, and I want you there with me.”
“But I told you last week, I have to go to Phillip's house tonight to get all the food ready for the big Husker party tomorrow.”
“Of course,” he snarls, “Phillip is much more important than I am.”
Yeah, I think, but don't say it.
Instead, I say sweetly, “You know I care about you and your career, but I have 32 people coming to the party tomorrow, and they're expecting something to eat! And the game is early, 11:30. There's no way I could get everything made in the morning, and I haven't been to the grocery store yet!”
Jimmy pushes me away. He looks angry. I have never seen him look this way before.
“I am so sick of Phillip this and Phillip that. I'm sick of being compared to Mr. Perfect. As a matter of fact,” he grabs me by the wrist hard, looks straight into my eyes and says, “you're done hanging out with Mr. Perfect. You're coming with me tonight.”
I wrench my arm away from him.
I don't like to be told what to do, and I'll be damned if he's going to do the telling. I look straight at him and speak very slowly, so Mr. Dense can understand.
“I'm going to keep my plans for tonight. I'm sorry, I cannot go to your concert. If I didn't have people depending on me for this, I would change my plans and go with you, but I can't. You'll just have to deal with it.”
“That's it. It's time for you to choose.”
He is furious with me.
“Choose what?”
What is he talking about now?
“Between Mr. Perfect and Me. You know everyone thinks the two of you have something going on. I always say it's not true, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe the real reason you want to go has more to do with cooking with Mr. Perfect than cooking food.” He adds, “In fact, if you don't go with me tonight, we're through. So choose.”
Okay, that's it. He's pushed me too far.
“Let me get this straight. You want me to choose you, someone I have known for like two seconds, over someone I have been friends with for like my entire life? Well, let me tell you, Jimmy, the choice is easy.” I wave bye-bye with my hand and say, “Goodbye.”
“I knew the two of you had something going on the whole time. I'm outta here.”
He storms out the front door, turning back toward me and yelling, “You'll miss me when I'm famous!”
Driving to Phillip's house, my insides are churning over my fight with Jimmy, the guitar-playing jerk. I mean I would have stopped dating him soon anyway. I was just sort of planning on keeping him around as a backup. You know, in case things didn't go well with Phillip this weekend.
Shit.
Now it appears I'm flying solo.
Of course I can't be too upset, and well, he was kind of right about Phillip.
I do have feelings for him.
Very strong ones.
Of course, they are a whole mixed up mess of feelings: confusion, frustration, denial, happiness, sadness and the strongest one of the bunch, chicken shittedness.
And that is not like me.
I am so not a chicken shit about anything else in my life.
I have rock climbed, surfed, parasailed and bungee jumped. I even drive too fast on a daily basis.
You'd think this would be easy. But instead, I feel like I'm jumping out of an airplane without a parachute.
I mean wouldn't everyone be a chicken shit about that?
Jimmy's comment about cooking with Mr. Perfect cracked me up, but it also gave me a great visual. Maybe I can get Phillip to cook with nothing on but an apron. Or better yet, maybe I should do that. Do you think he'd notice?
Well, sure he would, he's a guy.
The more important question is, would he like it, and would he do anything about it?
I am so hoping that he will give us a chance. I'm also hoping that moaning Monica will not be involved in this whole affair. You know, when Danny told me that he thought Phillip might be getting serious with her, I truly felt like I was going to throw up.