“Will you remember?” What if this was my last chance? What if he didn’t remember?
He squeezed my hand to let me know I was holding on too tightly. “I’ll remember,” he whispered. He opened his eyes for the last time. They were so blue. Even in the shade of the trees. “I’ll remember you. I have to.”
“You better go,” Levi said, interrupting us. He was standing off to my left. I didn’t know how long he’d been watching. His expression was pained. Heartbroken. “You should ascend and take him with you before he dies.”
“But–”
“I’ll take care of everything,” Levi said. “I’ll fill Ivy in. She’ll understand. She’ll know what to do.”
I frowned up at him, feeling awful he had to see Ivy, his Ivy, kissing someone else. Awful I did all of this to him. Put him through so much pain. “Levi, I am so–”
“Go.”
“Will I see you again? In Base Life?”
He shrugged, slipping his hands in the pockets of his green scrub pants. There was blood streaked across his bare chest. Across his cheek. He furrowed his brow, his eyes dark and brooding behind his glasses. “We’ll see, I guess.”
CHAPTER 34
THE LAND OF SOULS
I open my eyes to the darkened AV room. Jensen’s pudding cup is still sitting on the desk in front of me. I look down at my hands, holding the Polygon stone. Not one speck of blood. I slip the stone into my pocket and run my hands through my shaggy hair, thinking I might shave it all off as penance for the damage I’ve done. I’m the one that deserves to be bald. Not Audrey.
I take a deep, shuddering breath and bury my face in my hands. I remain there, hidden away in the dark, until everything that just happened washes over me and I am finally calm.
It’s over. I came face-to-face with Gesh and survived. I broke Levi’s heart. Turned Porter’s life upside down. Got Blue shot and killed.
Again.
At least now I know Blue remembers me. And that he’s not a traitor. I just hope he remembers Buckingham Fountain on New Year’s Eve.
Half an hour later, Porter and I are sitting at a table at Ristorante Cafferelli, overlooking the cold waters of the Bay. My fingers are entwined around a mug of coffee. Ever since 1961, I can’t get enough of the stuff. Porter sips his cappuccino, the steam mingling in the stubble on his chin.
There are so many questions.
“Did you know he was going to die?” I ask.
Porter presses his lips together in careful thought. “It was his time, yes.”
I look down at my mug. I turn it around by its handle slowly. “How long did Levi get to spend with Ivy before she died?”
“About two months. I found you both in a cabin in Canada. You were almost gone by the time I got there.”
“I didn’t die the same time as Tre?”
“Not that time, no. Usually you do, but I think in Ivy’s case, you wanted to hang on as long as you could. You wanted that time with Levi. You wanted to wait for me. To tell me to reincarnate you.”
“Why did you only protect me?” I ask, thinking about all the years Porter lived in Annapolis, watching me grow up. “Why didn’t you protect Tre too?”
“I would have gladly protected you both, but when I went to intercept your soulmarks to insert you into your Newlives, only yours appeared. I couldn’t find Tre’s. I went ahead and reincarnated you while I had the chance. If your souls were still connected, then Tre would be reincarnated too. I just wouldn’t know where he was or who he’d be in Base Life. And that was better than nothing. I honestly didn’t know whether or not you were still connected until I read about your ‘visions’ in Dr Farrow’s notes. That’s when I knew you were still pulling each other along. Just like you used to.”
I stir a packet of sugar into my coffee. “You don’t sound Danish at all. What happened to your accent?”
“When you’re on the run, the accent is the first thing to go. It’s a little too memorable. Too noticeable around here.”
I nod at his Orioles cap. “And the cap? The boat shoes? I was right, it is a disguise. You’re just trying to look like a local.”
“Works, doesn’t it?”
I smile slightly, setting the spoon down. “Why did you change your name to Porter?”
He folds his hands on the table. “Porter is the nickname you gave me when you were growing up at AIDA. It comes from an old fairytale I used to read to you when you were a little girl, In the Land of Souls. It’s about a man who sets out on a journey to reunite with his dead wife. He meets a gatekeeper along the way who teaches him how to shed his body and enter the Land of Souls, where his wife’s soul is waiting for him.” A small, wistful smile appears at the edge of Porter’s mouth as he recalls the tale. “You said I was the gatekeeper because I taught you the same thing. How to shed your body and enter Limbo.”
“And porter means gatekeeper,” I say.
He nods. “I wrote Porter on the flyer to see if you remembered anything from your past life as Ivy. If you did, you would’ve known who I was right away. But you didn’t.”
I fold my arms on the table. I look out across the water at the boats sailing past. “Do you think Gesh is searching for Tre too?”
“I wouldn’t doubt it.”
“If Tre isn’t working for Gesh, then why didn’t that Descender in 1876 go after him too? Why just me?”
“They probably thought they wouldn’t get any information out of him, if Gesh still believes Tre has his memory defects.”
I sit back in my chair, hoping that’s not true. If Blue still has his defects, then he might forget to meet me at Buckingham Fountain, and I’ll never find him in Base Life.
Gesh might find him first.
After a while, I finally summon the courage to ask Porter what I’ve wanted to ask since I sat down. “Will you ever forgive me? For creating the Variant?”
His watery eyes are sympathetic. “You don’t need forgiveness, Alex. In the end, the ultimate fault lies with me. You were merely playing with the hand I dealt you. You were meant to go back to AIDA, to create this Variant timeline. It was all meant to be.”
I know they’re supposed to, but his words don’t make me feel any better. I know what he really means. What’s done is done. We can’t change the past. We can only change the future.
And that’s exactly what I plan to do.
Once we find Blue, we’ll be a force to reckon with. Me, Porter, Blue, maybe even Levi, if we can find him. Me and my boys. We’ll bring Gesh down.
Hard.
“Oh, I got you something,” Porter says, reaching into a shopping bag at his feet. He pulls out an eyeglasses case. “What do you think of those?”
I open the case and crack a smile. Inside is a pair of glasses with the exact same frames as mine. I slide them on and laugh. The lenses are clear plastic. Totally fake, but close enough to fool anyone.
“Thanks, Porter.”
FRIENDS
When I arrive home, the house is brimming with the scent of Gran’s molasses cookies. One of her specialties. The moment I walk through the door, she tosses me an oven mitt.
“Can you watch these for me, Allie Bean? I ran out of butter. There’s a few minutes left on the timer, so when it goes off, check if they’re done. If not, set it for another five minutes. Don’t you let my sugar babies burn.” She grabs her coat and flies out the door, her purse swinging behind her.
I drop my backpack by the back door, toss the oven mitt on the counter, and make my way to the front porch, leaving the front door open so I can hear the timer. I watch Gran book it down the street to the corner store. A breeze kicks up and scatters the last few fall leaves across the yard. I sit on the porch swing, suddenly feeling very, very tired.