So I refused to acknowledge that there was a difference in our strength.
But what was the reality like? I wanted Menel to fight alongside me, but he was weak. I’d beaten him effortlessly when we first met. Even in my battle against the wyvern, all he did was spread out my Word and help me to drop the wyvern to earth. That was all. I’d been unconsciously averting my eyes from the simple truth that, compared to me, he was very weak. It was like it was something disgusting I didn’t want to look at.
Why? Why was being alone something to be afraid of?
The instant I thought that, a scene flashed into my mind, with a flash not of bright light, but of pitch-black darkness.
It was my old room, in my past life. It was an empty room with no one there, a house without parents, a place as silent as the grave. I was scared. I was afraid. I was lonely. I hurt inside. I couldn’t take it—
“Oh...”
Oh.
So that was it. It was so simple. I didn’t want to be alone. I was afraid of not having anyone by my side.
So even though he was someone I should have been protecting, someone who I should have been saving, I’d tried to see him as an equal against all reason. I made excuse after excuse to not think about the clear and obvious facts. I coaxed him into standing alongside me, and as a result, I nearly destroyed him. And it was all for the single, most despicable reason that I didn’t want to be lonely.
I finally understood... what I’d been doing wrong.
I got to my feet. I wobbled a little, but a prayer sorted that out with no trouble at all. There was no need to worry. I was very strong.
I started walking. First of all, I had to go see Menel. I had to heal him.
It had started drizzling at some point, but it didn’t bother me in the slightest. I felt like all my cares had been blown away.
And I laughed, from the bottom of my heart.
It was drizzling outside.
Menel had been laid on a bed, in a farmhouse that looked like it had wealthy owners. His wounds hadn’t fully healed, and fluids were seeping out from the burns all over his body and soaking into his bandages. He looked like he was having difficulty breathing. His cheeks looked somehow sunken, and his silver hair looked dull.
This was my sin.
I was vaguely aware that I was overwhelmingly powerful, and at the same time, I tried to remain unaware of it. I feared being better. I shied from solitude. I ran away from being responsible for my power.
I caused this, I told myself. I’ll do it alone.
Do it alone.
I couldn’t force other people to bear the burden of standing by my side, especially not in battle. What did it matter if I couldn’t become like my parents, anyway?
I offered a prayer to my god. Gracefeel, please heal poor Menel, who lies before me. God healed Menel right away, just as she always did. His gruesome burns, his partially-healed claw scars—all of them started to disappear.
My vision suddenly warped disorientingly, taking me by surprise. I was experiencing a revelation.
I saw my black-haired goddess, who always wore a hood over her head and rarely spoke or showed expression. But she had her hood down now, and her lips were pressed sorrowfully into a thin line.
Oh, Gracefeel... Thank you for worrying about me, I thought. But it’s okay. I’ve been a fool. Just watch me. I’ll stop your sadness. So I beg you—put your mind at ease. I’ll save everyone, everyone within my reach, as your blade, and as your hands.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “I’ll solve everything, everything, all by myself...”
I walked unsteadily out of the room, and returned to the house where I’d been sleeping.
There was my equipment. I gave it a quick check. There wasn’t much of a need. All I really needed was myself, a sword, and a spear. I could heal both disease and injury. I could receive gifts of food from my god. And if I felt like it, as long as I had nothing by my side to protect and nothing else to consider... I could kill anything.
Yes—it was time to admit it. My strength was not normal for a person of this world. I’d killed a splinter of an evil god; I could kill wyverns with my bare hands. I was like a video game character who’d maxed out the level counter—or even a hacked character, created by using cheat codes to mess with the data. I was far and away stronger than anything else in this world.
So there was no need to worry. I would kill the chimera. I would kill the demons. I would bring peace to this area. And I would make a bloodbath of any enemies who got in my way. That was the shortest, fastest, most efficient way to do good, to see justice done. It was the best path to making my goddess’s wishes become a reality.
I left the house through its gate and into the pelting rain, and headed for the outskirts of the village and the woods beyond—
“Hey!” A figure stood in my way. He had silver hair, sharp facial features, tightened lips, and jade eyes burning with anger.
I had no idea when he had gotten up, or when he had circled ahead of me, but one way or another—Meneldor was there.
In a field near the edge of the village, Menel and I faced each other in the pouring rain.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked me, his voice sharp.
“What?” I tilted my head. “To kill beasts, Meneldor.”
Meneldor narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together. “Alone.”
“Yes...?” Of course alone. “You can’t keep up with me. Right?” So I had to protect him. Wasn’t that obvious?
Meneldor’s expression twisted.
Feeling cold and empty, I slowly put on a smile. “Don’t worry. It’s going to be okay. I’ll go solve everything myself. I’ll kill the chimera and the hordes of beasts. If there’s demons behind it all, I’ll kill them, too.”
And then everything would be resolved. Why had I been overcomplicating this? This was what I should have—
“The hell you will!” With quick movements, Menel closed the distance between us.
He never swung his fist back. It was simply thrust at my face at close range. The motion was beautiful.
His fist collided with my cheek. “Wake up, you stupid shit!”
But all I felt was... disappointment. I was right. This was all he had. I hadn’t moved an inch. It just stung a little. That was all.
“Is that it, Meneldor?” I said quietly, his fist still pressed against my cheek. Even I thought my eyes must have looked terribly cold.
As I started to turn away, planning on ignoring him entirely and leaving, he lashed out with more punches and kicks. I made slight movements to change where the blows landed, and they barely hurt at all.
“Dammit! Why are you acting like this?!” He still wasn’t giving up.
At this point, I was starting to get a little irritated. I couldn’t have him following me. What could I do about this?
Maybe just one arm wouldn’t be too bad.
As he lunged out with his fist, I grabbed his arm.
“Wh—?!”
Then, I pressed it with all my body weight and dislocated it. The feeling of his shoulder popping out of its socket was horribly recognizable. Meneldor seemed to jerk, and then he let out a long, indistinct groan and fell to the ground, squirming in pain.
I’m sorry, I thought. It’s for your own good...
“Get someone to treat that for you.”
Figuring that now he wouldn’t be able to fight me, I started to walk off.
“I’m... not done with you yet...” From behind me, there was the sound of clawing at grass. I turned to see Meneldor with tears in his eyes, clutching his arm, and yet, staggering to his feet.