Will and Danny could whip them into shape. Maybe I just don’t have what it takes. Or maybe some people just aren’t meant to be soldiers.
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Travis said behind him.
“What’s that?” Josh said, even though he knew the question, because it always came up.
They were always so curious about how it worked. He couldn’t really blame them. Even now, after having gone through it dozens of times, it still freaked him out, though he would never admit it out loud. He had learned in those first few weeks that the only way to lead men was to make them fear your authority. Josh was never the biggest or most imposing kid, and he didn’t have to be. He had something better. He had them standing behind him. Most of all, he had her.
“How does it work?” Travis asked. “How do they contact you?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“It’s dreaming…but not really dreaming. It feels more like reliving a memory.”
“Whose?”
“Yours, theirs… Whatever they want it to be.”
“So they control it.”
“You really have to ask that question?”
“No, I guess not.”
Travis paused, and Josh could see him weighing the pros and cons of continuing this conversation. Like the rest of them, Travis was trying to balance wanting to know more and being afraid of the answers.
Finally, Travis said, “And they tell you what to do while you’re in these dreams?”
He nodded. “It takes some getting used to, but yeah, that’s essentially how it works.”
“Freaky,” Travis said. He might have also shivered involuntarily.
Josh smiled. He didn’t bother telling Travis that in the dreams, Kate always came to him as her former human self, a major change from the first time he had seen her. It was sometimes difficult for him to reconcile the beautiful thirty-something woman, who moved with dreamlike sensuality and elegance, with the ghoul-Kate that had first recruited him not far from where he was standing now.
As much as he told himself he had become used to Kate’s presence, or the sound of her voice inside his head, he could never quite shake the feeling there was something odd about her existence that went beyond the skeletal frame, pruned black flesh, and blue eyes. It was as if she was straddling the line between human and ghoul, trying to hold onto something that was long gone.
Why? he always wanted to ask her. Why bother?
He knew why he was bothering, though.
Gaby. I’m doing this for you. For us.
Josh lowered his binoculars and wrinkled his nose. It had been months since Will burned down the two-story house across the small inlet, but Josh thought he could still smell the damage. The marina had also been reduced to ashes, but the wild grass around it hid the scent better.
He looked down at his watch: 3:36 P.M.
It wouldn’t be long now before Josh could finally leave this place and put Song Island into the back of his mind for good. He was looking forward to that. Beaufont Lake hadn’t been very good to him. He still remembered getting shot and almost drowning and dying out here. Those were memories he’d rather bury in the past.
“You used to live there, didn’t you?” Travis was saying.
Josh didn’t need binoculars to see Song Island in the near distance. It was the only thing to break the monotony of calm lake water for miles around, its Tower jutting out like a sore thumb. It looked so insignificant, like a stain holding back progress. How did Will ever think this place could save them?
“I wouldn’t say I used to live there,” Josh said. “I was there for a couple of days, long enough to know it’s just another island.”
“Still,” Travis said, “it must feel a little weird to be leading the attack on it.”
He had thought the same thing, once upon a time. It only took looking at the place from afar to realize it wasn’t true at all. Song Island was just another patch of dirt on a lake. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less.
“No,” Josh said, turning and walking back to the Jeep, “it doesn’t feel weird at all.”
Travis jogged after him. “So, it’s settled. We’re attacking tonight. Even with that guy going back? That’s an extra gun.”
“You see that big thing sticking out of the island?”
“The lighthouse?”
“Yeah. There’s a basement at the bottom. Song Island’s always had all the guns and ammo it needs. One more guy isn’t going to make any difference.”
The former construction supervisor glanced back at the island one more time. “Man, it’s gonna get bloody. I was hoping it’d go down easier.”
“It could have, but that ship’s sailed.”
“What about the big boat that showed up last night? Did you tell them about that? Maybe they’ll let us delay the attack—”
“They don’t care,” Josh said, cutting him off. “Besides, if we’re lucky, all that shooting last night did was cut down their numbers. Either way, it’s going to happen tonight.”
Josh climbed into the front passenger seat of the Jeep while Travis slipped into the driver side. He still had to fight back a big smile whenever one of the older men had to drive him around, which was pretty much every time. Nineteen-year-old boys weren’t supposed to be leading armies, but here he was anyway, doing just that. All of this, because he was one of the chosen ones.
Soon you’ll be one, too, Gaby. Then you’ll understand why I’m doing this.
I’ll make you understand.
Sonia jogged down the outer stairs of the two-story red house as he and Travis arrived in the Jeep. She looked excited, which told Josh she probably had news from Mason (finally). Sometimes Josh thought Mason was the most capable man under his command, and other times he couldn’t be trusted to look for gas for their vehicles.
Travis parked in the driveway, among the trucks and people in uniforms milling about and talking excitedly among themselves. They were anxious and scared, and they had every right to be. Most of them had never shot anyone or been in real combat. Some of them knew how to use the weapons they were carrying, but the majority had never fired at a living, breathing person in their lives.
He felt almost sorry for them, for what they were about to experience tonight. But whenever that pity threatened to paralyze him into backing out of the plan, he just had to remind himself that this was for the best. He was doing this for them — he and Gaby. He needed to prove himself to Kate and Mabry and the others. And once tonight was over, he could move on and prepare for the future.
With Gaby. Because none of this mattered a lick without Gaby at his side.
Sonia smiled at him as he climbed out of the Jeep. She was here the last few days and had lived through the grenade launcher attack. She was a Southerner, like Travis, minus the accent for some reason. Of course, that could have just been the hormones talking. For all he knew, she sounded exactly the same as Travis, except the visual was throwing him off.
“Mason?” he asked.
“Got word from him about ten minutes ago,” Sonia said.
She fell in beside him as they walked across the large yard. Josh liked the fact that she hadn’t even acknowledged Travis’s existence, and Travis no doubt noticed that, too. He could tell the older man had a thing for the twenty-something. He didn’t blame the guy. You had to be dead not to pitch a tent at the sight of Sonia. Somehow, that gun belt around her slim waist only made her more—