"My wife only is here. And she is quite well."
"How do we know that sir. My own wife is certain she recognised the cries of a downed female, if I may be so blunt as to use that term."
Balthazar swung wide open the dressing room door. Till now one has been so patient with the entire world. Tip toeing through a woman's dissatisfactions hoping too many of them will go unheard. Seems anyone steps in these days to infernally invade one's privacy. Treat them now to plenty so they won't be asking for more. One gentleman and lady in the forefront. One lady and one gentleman in the rear.
"My God sir, how dare you present yourself thus, to my wife."
"You're demanding to gain entrance to my bedroom. You are already standing in my house. Without my leave. And I again request you to go."
"Sir, attend to yourself. You are in a state of undress. I happen to be connected with the Admiralty and I am also a member of the Automobile Club."
"Well I should be glad then if you would promptly motor out of here."
"I think I speak as spokesman for the group, and God help me man I would appreciate if you were to cover yourself."
"I am quite as God made me."
"That sir is a matter between you and God. We all of us consulted at length in the street over the noises. Matters had to be taken into our own hands to insure that injury was not being done. Now that we are here we intend to succeed in the measures we have thus far taken."
"Did you hear a cry for help."
"No, I don't believe we did."
"Then I must ask you to leave this instant."
"Look sir, all of us are willing volunteers. Responding to what we feel is an emergency. I've had my time in Burma, sir. Fve been acquainted with this kind of thing before. When although there isn't an outright cry for help, one surmises quite properly that the presence of help is required. I wish sir, you wouldn't continue to stand there naked like that.' "What was your rank."
"Major and damn it sir, attend to yourself, I'm quite fed up talking to you in that condition, presenting yourself unadorned to my wife like that. Get back behind the door or a towel at least."
"I want you to clear out please."
"Not until we have had satisfaction sir."
"I said please go."
"Sir if you take another naked step forward in front of my wife I shall strike you."
"I'm sure your wife has seen privates before. Fve spent half an hour in front of the Sorbonne like this."
"What you did sir, nude in front of the Sorbonne, is no concern of ours. And my wife has not seen privates before. Not even in tableau. And how dare you suggest she has."
"Have you no privates Major."
"As a matter of fact if you must know I received an injury to them in Burma. In the service of my country. Wretched wog had at me with a lucky shot. And sir I think you are being most ungentlemanly to stand there like that, cold bloodedly exposing yourself. And sir your organ is deliberately twitching""For the last time, please leave this house."
"I am umpiring this matter here, sir, with the full agreement of the others. I resent strongly my integrity being questioned. I have commanded men in foreign parts. But if I may say so, foreign parts are one thing, and facing your privates provocatively presented is entirely another. We want evidence that all in the room beyond is quite correct and no knavery has been committed."
"I shall take this coat hanger to you. If you don't get out of this house."
"I must remind you sir that every Englishman is duty bound according to his code of behaviour to have a go wherever there is evidence of foul play.' "What evidence."
"We shall see.' "And if you don't.' "Well we shall of course retreat and enlist the aid of further authority."
"Followed closely by my legal advisers who will lash you with writs till your shoelaces dance in terror."
"Good God sir, we're only doing our best here. What about all the poor old dears in this street. What about them, they may even now cower thinking they will be next. They are not motor owners like we, and here I speak for myself as I do not know if Mr. White Wang is a motor owner."
"I'm not."
"O I see. But these old dears can't motor away to safety, peace and quiet. We of us who own motors must take care that the rights of those less fortunate are protected."
Balthazar B covering privates with the shoulder bulge of the coat hanger as there was a slight engorgement there. In the heat of this utterly unbelievable encounter. When one would prefer to be popping fresh strawberries down one's throat, right out of season. But one thing to do. Before these people try to fill me up with sawdust to make me look nice. Is to set the record right and send these folk scattering.
"Millicent would you please phone for the police. To come and have these intruders shown the door."
"Yes I will."
Alarm over the Major's face. He reached for his breast pocket spotted red hanky. And wiped away the moisture on his thin upper lip. Which he licks now. The nameless second lady quite at home feeling, as she passes, the satin of Milli-cent's counterpane. Mr. White Wang staring down at his shoes and up at the ceiling as the little group slowly moves backwards towards Millicent's open bedroom door. Balthazar B advancing. Nakedly.
"I wish sir that you would not keep advancing in that con dition. Quite clearly there's been a misunderstanding but my wife's heart is not good."
"It appears to have had sufficient pumping adequacy to get her up here. And one would certainly hope to get her out. Go away please.' ''We are going. Please let us. Without coming too close, there's quite a lot of light out here on the staircase. Marjorie please turn your head away. Look front. Please, for my sake."
Balthazar standing at the stair head watching the little group pass out and close the door. From the small reading room window one looks down. There gathered on the pavement. The vigilantes. Watched by the Colonel across the street in the window with his binoculars totally emerged from the plant leaves. One might now be advised to hang out a sign high over the front door. To those of you who do not recognise the groans of lust which one hopes will continue to come out of this house. To say to you, do not breach the privacy dear chaps, if you please. And when next you hear a scream. Look up at the night.
The new
Moon yawns
To take
A bite
Of
The sky.
27
The little fellow was born three days after nurse came to Crescent Curve with her hat of white daisies with big white petals on the back top of her head. She wore blue frequently and when out of uniform a grey sweater with two rows of amber beads. She smoked inhaling the air deeply and threw her head back shooting the smoke upwards at an angle from the horizontal.
A fortnight later nannie came. And nurse was slow to leave. In the long still tight lipped silences at table. No one having a second helping except of wine. Millicent wrapped up high with frills all over her bed. Delivered trays of delicacies by the fragile and hard of hearing Boats with his white hair flowing behind his ears. He had made his way from his tiny sea front cottage in Dorset. Travelling for three days, getting lost on stations, taking trains back to where he came from instead of where he was going. As I shouted directions to him down the long distance phone. Lodged safely now up top in the back room. With all his neat equipments laid ready about.
There were tremors of lighted warmth over the house. Between the black looks nurse gave nannie and nannie gave nurse. Neither ever passing the salt to the other and pushing butter and bread further away. Millicent muchly reclined in the middle of her bed having hair and fingernails done. The little fellow nuzzling in at the breasts. One nipple just a little larger than the other. The left one as a matter of fact. Mil-licent's right eye is a little larger than the left. Nature quite fussy in balancing things. Beefy came to visit. We had a private little talk in the library.