Ha! You don’t need a password to get in! He starts frantically to search among folders and files. The hard disk is mainly music, pictures and films. Titus bypasses these and soon finds a folder called ‘MANUSCRIPTS’. He opens it, and one of the sub-folders immediately catches his eye.
The hair on Titus’ arms stands up when he reads the name: The Best Book in the World.
Out on the Fjäderholm islands, calm has descended. The day-trippers who come with the ferry have long since gone home. The guests at the inn on the other side of the island are either in the restaurant or out on the jetty drinking whisky in peace and quiet. The taxi boats won’t be coming for another hour or two.
In the little bay where Come aboard amour is moored, it is calm too. The cockpit is empty and both the crew and the oil lamps have moved into the cabin. Eddie X and Astra are lying among the warm eiderdowns, flirting. A bit of kissing, and switching between nonsense and serious subjects of conversation. Eddie wants to know what it is like at Winchester’s. How do they look after their authors? What sort of contracts do they have? How much do the editors interfere with the texts? When it comes to Winchester’s, Astra is super-professional. She is a like a catalogue and only reveals carefully balanced information. She is more interested in how things are at Eddie’s publishing house, Babelfish. Does he think they market him properly? What would make him change to another publisher? What does he think of Winchester’s? Does he want her to arrange a meeting with Evita Winchester, completely informally?
Titus starts reverentially poking around in the folder called The Best Book in the World. There is a Word file called ‘synopsis’. He opens it and reads a short list of bullet points:
• The funniest T-shirt print in the world:
THE WOOD GROUSE IS THE BIGGEST HEN BIRD IN SWEDEN
• The best aphorism in the world:
IT IS JUST AS LIKELY THAT THE WORLD HAS BEEN MADE BY GOD AS THAT THE MOON IS MADE OF CHEESE
Is that it? Titus thinks about his own way of making a synopsis. He can easily fill an entire pad with handwritten notes before he even starts on the book. But this? What on earth is it? Either Eddie is trying to make a fool of him, or he has got writer’s block. Creative paralysis.
Slowly but surely a lofty calm spreads through Titus’ body. Perhaps Eddie quite simply isn’t capable of doing battle with him. He has obviously tried, but without success. Eddie has sat down and started to note the contents of the book and the only things he has been able to think up are a weird T-shirt print and an aphorism, albeit a fairly clever one. But that is hardly a sustainable start for a bestselling non-fictional novel of decisive importance that is going to change the world. Such an idiot! Titus shakes his head.
The next file is called Comeaboardamour_bestpoemintheworld. An expectant smile spreads across Titus’ face. Of course, he clicks that file to open it too.
Titus’s eyes are like saucers. What is this? Never in all his life has he seen such rubbish. Surely this couldn’t have been written by the brilliant romantic poet Eddie X? Titus reads it again and gets stuck on ‘The varnish shines all shiny, the tiller bucks like a colt…’ Shines all shiny? this must be the worst ever combination of a verb and an adverb, Titus says quietly to himself, and lets out a laugh.
He starts thinking. Either the poem is meant as a joke, or Eddie has lost his marbles. Or his ability to express himself with words, at any rate.
Suddenly, the meaning of the poem becomes clear to Titus.
Eddie is going to seduce Astra! Evidently, there are no limits to how far that man is prepared to go. His creativity has become completely blocked somehow. He has lost the ability to write and is becoming a desperado. Frustrated artists can become furious, as Titus is well aware. Who knows what mad plans Eddie has to regain control?
I must stop him, Titus thinks.
I must warn Astra!
Out by the Fjäderholm islands, Eddie is starting to become slightly drunk. He has drunk so much punch that his lips and mouth are sticky from all the sugar, and he has to tense his jaw muscles when he speaks so as not to slur his words. And like all tipsy boys he can’t manage to kiss and do the small talk for more than a short while. Suddenly he frees himself from the eiderdowns and opens his arms wide.
‘Come on, now, Astra. We’re going swimming!’
He opens the cabin hatch and jumps up into the cockpit. There, he hastily tears off all his clothes with sweeping gestures and sets off round the deck in a wild Indian dance. He stops on the foredeck in front of the mast, thrusts a little with his hips and swings his dick a few rounds in the air before diving down into the black and glistening water.
Astra is not quite as drunk as Eddie, but is just as exhilarated. When she comes up on deck and sees Eddie already in the water, she too undresses quick as a flash. She holds her nose and her bosom when she jumps into the water.
‘Lovely, isn’t it?’ Eddie shouts, and with a toss of his head clears his long fringe from his eyes. He swims a few metres in the bay and waves to Astra to follow. She swims after him. They stop and tread water a while without talking, just looking at each other.
‘This is heavenly! How can it still be so warm in the water?’
‘I love August! Look over there towards Lidingö, Astra. Can you see?’
‘What?’
‘Look at the water! Look how it’s shining all shiny! I love it when it shines all shiny!’
‘Yes, it is beautiful when it shines all shiny. I like it.’
‘Hello, you have reached Astra Larsson at Winchester Publishing. Leave your name and your telephone number, and I shall phone you as soon as I can. Thanks for the call.’
Damn, damn, damn! Titus shakes his mobile phone in the air as if it were to blame for Astra not answering. What the hell should I do now? Phone her again and leave a message? Text her?
And in that case, what would he say? In the long run it is usually best to tell the truth. At the same time, he knows that Astra has fallen for Eddie. It would be hard to convince her over the phone that Eddie is a maniac. It would only rebound on Titus himself. He would look like a jealous nutter with a conspiracy theory. So what should he do? He must act, otherwise Astra might be tricked into something unpleasant. And, most important of all, Eddie might ferret out lots of secrets about The Best Book in the World.
Titus comes to the conclusion that a white lie is the only proper solution at this stage. Whitish, at least. Off-white, he thinks, and sends off a text message.