«Arecibo,» the Vietnamese amended impatiently.
«Yes, thank you,» murmured the secretary general. «Arecibo. The astronomers have sent a message to the aliens that we have chosen the Arecibo radio telescope to ask The Question and any other transmission from any other facility should be ignored.»
«Thus the Americans have taken effective control of the situation,» said the chairman, in the calm low voice of a man who has learned to control his inner rage.
«Not at all,» the secretary general replied. «Arecibo is an international facility; astronomers from all over the world work there.»
«Under Yankee supervision.»
«The International Astronomical Union—»
«Which is dominated by Americans and Europeans,» shouted one of the other delegates.
«We will not tolerate their monopoly power politics!»
«Asia must make the decision!»
Stunned by the sudden vehemence of her visitors, the secretary general said, «A moment ago you wanted the General Assembly to vote on the decision.»
The chairman allowed a fleeting expression of chagrin to break his normally impassive features. «We took the liberty of polling the members of the General Assembly yesterday.»
«Very informally,» added the Vietnamese delegate hastily. «Nothing binding, of course.»
«Of course,» said the secretary general, surprised that her snoops had not reported this move to her.
«The result was far from satisfactory,» the chairman admitted. «We received more than two hundred different questions.»
«It appears extremely doubtful,» said the Japanese member of the delegation, «that the General Assembly could agree on one single question within the remaining allowed time.»
«Then how do you propose to resolve the matter?» the secretary general asked.
They all looked to the chairman, even the Vietnamese delegate.
He cleared his throat, then answered, «We propose to decide what The Question will be within our own group, and then ask the General Assembly to ratify our decision.»
«A simple yes or no vote,» said the Vietnamese delegate. «No thought required.»
«I see,» said the secretary general. «That might work, although if the General Assembly voted against your proposal—
«That will not come to pass,» the chairman assured her. «The nations we represent will carry the vote.»
«Your nations have the largest population,» the secretary general cautioned, «but not the largest number of representatives in the Assembly, where it is one vote to each nation.»
«The Africans will vote with us.»
«Are you certain?»
«If they want continued aid from us, they will.»
The secretary general wondered if some of the nations of Africa might not want to ask the aliens how they could make themselves self-sufficient, but she kept that thought to herself. Instead she asked, «Have you settled on the question you wish to ask?»
The chairman’s left cheek ticked once. «Not yet,» he answered. «We are still discussing the matter.»
«How close to a decision are you?»
A gloomy silence filled the room.
At last the young Vietnamese delegate burst out, «They want to ask how they can live forever! What nonsense! The Question should be, How can we control our population growth?»
«We know how to control population growth,» the Japanese delegate snarled. «That is not a fit question to ask the aliens.»
«But our known methods are not working!» the Vietnamese man insisted. «We must learn how we can make people want to control their birth numbers.»
«Better to ask how we can learn to control impetuous young men who show no respect for their elders,» snapped one of the grayest delegates.
The secretary general watched in growing dismay as the delegates quarreled and growled at each other. Their voices rose to shouts, then screams. When they began attacking each other in a frenzy of martial arts violence, the secretary general called for security, then hid behind her couch.
THE MEDIA MOGUL
«This is the greatest story since Moses parted the Red Sea!» Tad Trumble enthused. «I want our full resources behind it.»
«Right, chief,» said the seventeen executive vice presidents arrayed down the long conference table.
«I mean our full resources,» Trumble said, pacing energetically along the length of the table. He wore his yachting costume: navy blue double-breasted blazer over white duck slacks, colorful ascot, and off-white shirt. He was a big man, tall and rangy, with a vigorous moustache and handsome wavy hair—both dyed to a youthful dark brown.
«I mean,» he went on, clapping his big hands together hard enough to make the vice presidents jump, «I want to interview those aliens personally.»
«You?» the most senior of the veeps exclaimed. «Yourself?»
«Danged right! Get them onscreen.»
«But they haven’t replied to any of our messages, chief,» said the brightest of the female vice presidents. In truth, she was brighter than all the males, too.
«Not one peep out of them since they said they’d answer The Question,» added the man closest to her.
Trumble frowned like a little boy who hadn’t received quite what he’d wanted from Santa Claus. «Then we’ll just have to send somebody out to their spacecraft and bang on their door until they open up.»
«We can’t do that,» said one of the younger, less experienced toadies.
Whirling on the hapless young man, Trumble snapped, «Why the frick not?»
«W-well, we’d need a rocket and astronauts and—»
«My aerospace division has all that crap. I’ll tell ’em to send one of our anchormen up there.»
«In four days, chief?»
«Sure, why not? We’re not the freakin’ government, we can do things fast!»
«But the safety factor…»
Trumble shrugged. «If the rocket blows up it’ll make a great story. So we lose an anchorman, so what? Make a martyr outta him. Blame the aliens.»
It took nearly an hour for the accumulated vice presidents to gently, subtly talk their boss out of the space mission idea.
«Okay, then,» Trumble said, still pacing, his enthusiasm hardly dented, «how about this? We sponsor a contest to decide what The Question should be!»
«That’s great!» came the immediate choral reply.
«Awesome.»
«Fabulous.»
«Inspired.»
«Danged right,» Trumble admitted modestly. «Ask people all over the country—all over the freakin’ world—what they think The Question should be. Nobody’ll watch anything but our channels!»
Another round of congratulations surged down the table.
«But get one thing straight,» Trumble said, his face suddenly very serious. He had managed to pace himself back to his own chair at the head of the table.
Gripping the back of the empty chair with both white-knuckled hands, he said, «I win the contest. Understand? No matter how many people respond, I’m the one who makes up The Question. Got that?»
All seventeen heads nodded in unison.
THE POPE
«It is not a problem of knowledge,» said Cardinal Horvath, his voice a sibilant whisper, «but rather a problem of morality.»
The pope knew that Horvath used that whisper to get attention. Each of the twenty-six cardinals in his audience chamber leaned forward on his chair to hear the Hungarian prelate.
«Morality?» asked the pope. He had been advised by his staff to wear formal robes for this meeting. Instead, he had chosen to present himself to his inner circle of advisors in a simple white linen suit. The cardinals were all arrayed in their finest, from scarlet skullcaps to Gucci shoes.
«Morality,» Horvath repeated. «Is this alien spaceship sent to us by God or by the devil?»