Shahid That’s who we are, bro! (To Deedee.) We don’t sit swigging wine all evening!
Deedee What alternative are you offering?
Chili And you two not even married yet …!
He picks up a beer and leaves. Pause.
Deedee It’s very original, the way you weave Scheherazade into your story. The Arabian Nights in Sevenoaks. No one’s written like this about England — you have a voice and a future, Shahid.
Shahid is speechless.
This is the new literature — when stories from elsewhere slice into conventional England. Rushdie showed there’s a gap in modern writing that can only be filled by stories like yours. You could be the real deal. You could be published by Faber and Faber and go to literary parties, accompanied by me.
Shahid Yeah?
Deedee If you don’t get distracted.
Shahid You look ravishing, you do.
Deedee Thank you.
Shahid Deedee …
She slips his kurta off and sits him on her sofa. Puts on some music and starts applying make-up to turn him androgynous, à la Prince. She talks as she works.
Deedee London was full of Arabs in the seventies. They thought they liked girls. Didn’t treat us badly but wouldn’t talk. So we’d sit in their apartments all night, snorting coke and waiting to be pointed at … Happiest day was being accepted for university. My old man said someone common like me didn’t deserve an education … Met Brownlow there. Off to picket lines, demonstrations and Greenham Common — activists together … When I think about how far I’ve come, I’m proud of what I’ve done.
Shahid Why are you sad, then?
Deedee Am I?
Shahid A little.
Deedee The price might have been too high … I gave up the possibility of children for what?
She invites him to parade.
Shahid Now?
Deedee There’s only now. Let’s see how well you know your Prince.
He parades to music from Prince’s Black Album.
Shahid (with a flourish, quoting Prince’s songs) Aw! Lovesexy! Baby I’m a Star!
Deedee Still like Prince? Your friend Chad?
Shahid U Got that Look …! Na — he’s Rockhard in a Funky Place.
Deedee (joining in the game) I knew him with a Raspberry Beret on his head.
Shahid (concerned) Condition of the Heart?
Deedee No. Sign o’ the Times. Purple Rain. He was a One Man Jam!
Shahid Hot Thing! That’s action to the max. Like when you were on picket lines.
Deedee Our cause was clearer then. We questioned. All authority. Religion.
Shahid (jibing) Now you teach post-colonial literature.
Deedee Thatcher’s worn everyone down. (Defiant.) So let’s just Dance to the Music of the World!
Shahid You Can Be My Teacher, driving a Little Red Corvette!
Deedee I Wanna Be your Lover!
Shahid Let’s do Le Grind!
Deedee Let’s Go Crazy!
They dance.
Shahid Can’t stay tonight.
She stops.
Deedee Why?
Shahid Brother action, you know.
Deedee No, I don’t.
Beat.
Shahid Riaz has seen a miracle.
Deedee Fuck!
Shahid Can’t you just make me come?
Beat.
Deedee You know what you want — that’s something at least. Would your friends say you’re a hypocrite, coming here for a fuck after God’s shown Riaz a miracle?
Shahid I do want to be with you.
Deedee There’s quicker ways to get relief.
Shahid Don’t put me off, Deedee.
Deedee Why not? Do you really understand what’s going on with Riaz?
Shahid Please, Deedee …
Deedee You want me — fine. What’re you going to do for me?
Shahid What do you want me to do?
Deedee Thinking for yourself will be a start. He’s using you for his own ends.
Shahid Aren’t you?
Deedee You came to me with your writing, remember? Do you want Riaz to destroy your creativity?
Shahid Why do you assume he’ll do that? He’s given me his poems to work on.
Deedee I don’t trust him.
Shahid You don’t like him.
Deedee He’s dangerous.
Shahid He needs me — I’m going back.
He picks up his jacket and exits.
Deedee (shouting after him) You’ve got to decide, Shahid — who really are your people?
Interval.
Act Two
SCENE TEN
Shahid’s digs. Morning. Shahid is working at his desk. Chad enters, with Hat.
Chad Hey, Shahid, brother Riaz had the delectation of meeting your brother in the hallway earlier. An’ you know what happened? There was an incident.
Shahid What incident?
Hat Chili threatened brother Riaz.
Shahid Sorry?
Hat He claimed the brother wearing one of his shirts.
Shahid Oh, no.
Hat Riaz didn’t know what he was talking about.
Shahid (to Chad) Did you tell Riaz?
Chad (pointedly) It ain’t him nuisancing me right now.
Shahid Who do you mean?
Chad You holding something back, Shahid?
Shahid Listen, Chad — you know, brother, the first time we met, an’ I told you that as a Paki, I went through a lot of shit? I wanted to say to you, Trev –
Chad Did you call me Trev?
Shahid Yeah, I was trying to say –
Chad No more Trev. Me a Muslim. Like Mohammed Ali. We don’t apologise for ourselves. We are people who say one important thing — that pleasure and self-absorption isn’t everything.
Hat Riaz says it is a bottomless basket.
Chad Ain’t that a wicked phrase? One pleasure — unless there are strong limits — can only lead to another. Until we become beasts. The people paint their faces.
Shahid What?
Chad They wear aftershave. And they paint their faces. What happened to the clothes I gave you?
Shahid I was too cold.
Chad You hear the Iranians planning to put the fatwa on the writer?