Shahid Don’t you know?
Zulma I’ve chucked him out until he cleans up. If he can, or wants to.
Shahid What do you mean, ‘cleans up’?
Zulma Let’s just say your ammi worries about him.
Shahid He’s with his friends. Playing poker all night.
Zulma What the hell, Shahid, which damn friends? You better tell me or I’ll string you up by the balls, okay?
That brother of yours — Papa’s barely got cold and he’s off dreaming.
Shahid I must run to the library. You know Chili doesn’t tell no one what’s what.
Zulma What are you studying?
Shahid Post-colonial literature.
Zulma No finer qualification for a travel agent. Are we still colonial after so long, ‘post’ or not? Get a degree — whatever else, make sure you come out qualified, for your ammi’s sake. You haven’t got in with a rotten crowd, have you? Intellectuals or some other such fools?
Shahid (ushering her out) I’ve got to hand in an essay tomorrow, Auntie.
Zulma (forceful) Shahid! Your ammi is worried. Get Chili to ring her. He hasn’t been home for weeks.
Shahid I’ll tell him.
Zulma Remember what Papa always said — working your arse off is the only religion worth the name. Do that, and then go home.
Shahid (ushering her out) I’ll let you know as soon as I hear from Chili, Auntie. Bye.
Zulma exits. Shahid puts the pakoras away and switches on some music as he does his yoga exercises. Chad enters. For a moment, he’s entranced by the music.
Chad What you doin’?
Shahid Yoga. It gets me in the mood.
Chad That Hindu shit will infect your mind.
He turns off the music.
They listen to that Ravi Shankar shit and burn joss sticks. You don’t want to end up like George Harrison, do you? Shahid, I tell you, I used to be an addict — a music addict like you. I listened to it day and night! It was overtaking my soul!
Shahid You were controlled by music?
Chad I’m talking of the music and fashion industries. Telling us what to wear, where to go, what to listen to. Ain’t we their slaves?
Shahid I’m not living without music. Tell me the truth — you miss it too.
Chad (pointed) Don’t you want to swim in a clean sea and see by a clear light? Imagine the warm water holding you up!
He hugs Shahid.
Are we dancing monkeys? We have minds and sense. Gimme those Prince records!
Shahid Some of them are imports!
Chad Allah is the only one we must submit to! He put our noses on our face –
Shahid As opposed to where?
Chad Our stomach, for instance. How can you deny his skill and power and authority?
Shahid I don’t, Chad, you know I don’t. And you know I respect you as a brother too, that’s why I’m asking you to stop!
Chad We think we cool but we break our trust with Allah. Listen to Riaz. Don’t he say we becoming Western, European, Socialist? We must not assimilate, that way we lose our souls. Like that blaspheming writer! We are proud and we are obedient. It’s not we who must change, but the world!
Shahid Here — keys to paradise. Have a good meeting.
As he’s about to leave, Tahira enters.
Chad This wonderful sister is Tahira.
Chad picks up the foil-wrapped parcel Shahid stashed away.
Shahid (to Tahira) Hi. Did you meet my aunt on her way out?
Tahira (holding his hand) That air hostess wear sunglasses to hide her evil eye! Don’t worry — we all have auntie problems. One day all aunties will be under our control.
Shahid leaves, as people begin to gather to meet Riaz. Music. Shahid makes his way through night-time London to Deedee’s.
SCENE FIVE
Deedee’s house. Night. Deedee has had a row with
Brownlow. He storms off into the bedroom. Shahid enters.
Shahid Thanks for inviting me to look at the Prince videos. I wouldn’t be able to write my Prince paper without it. Where are the others?
Deedee I’ll heat some soup while you watch.
Deedee goes to the kitchen. Shahid watches the video. He is emulating Prince’s moves, gestures, etc., when Deedee returns.
Find him sexy?
Shahid quickly checks his notebook.
Shahid His work is … seamless … seamless and not a little cathartic, wouldn’t you say?
Deedee I hate this fucking house.
Shahid Pardon?
Deedee We’re trying to sell it. Sorry, what did you say?
Enter Brownlow, putting on his tie. Stops on seeing Shahid. He holds out his hand.
Brownlow H-h-hello, Tariq. I’m Andrew Brownlow.
Shahid I’m Shahid.
Brownlow O-o-of course. Extra lessons, hmm?
Shahid (agreeing) Prince.
Brownlow Charles?
Shahid No, the sex symbol.
Brownlow Of course. F. R. Leavis would be reassured and so would Queenie.
Shahid Who?
Brownlow What?
Shahid Queenie?
Brownlow It’s true I’m not feeling that heterosexual at the moment. (To Deedee.) W-w-well. S-s-see you. B-b-bye.
Deedee (cutting him off) Yes, all right, see you tomorrow.
He leaves.
‘Yes’ is a lovely word. I love ‘yes’. Yes, yes, yes. No victims, no victors, just ‘yes’.
Shahid My brother Chili lives by the word –
Deedee It was discovered in South America. Chilli only came to India in medieval times.
Shahid I didn’t know that. We’re from Pakistan.
Deedee Once, years ago, Andrew came home from a party and described kissing a woman.
Shahid Dr Brownlow?
Deedee I had never felt so let down — couldn’t sleep for two nights. You would hope that intimacy would leave more of a mark. But now I think, who is this person? I want a smoke.
Shahid (apologetic) I don’t smoke.
She shows him a spliff.
Whoa! I’ve only smoked that once before. In Brighton.
Deedee Enjoy it?
Shahid The person who gave it me said I should come and see you.
Deedee Well …! What do you say? It’ll make you laugh.
Shahid It’s okay, I laughed earlier. Could you have a look at this?
Offers his rolled-up manuscript.
Deedee Interesting …