Arhu stared at her. Rhiow thought she had never seen such a cold and suspicious look from a kit so young. Pity rose up in her; she wanted to cry, Who hurt you so badly that you’ve lost your kittenhood entire? What’s been done to you? But Rhiow held her peace. She thought Arhu was going to give her no answer at alclass="underline" he laid his head down sideways on the concrete again. But he did not close his eyes, staring out instead into the dimness of the garage.
Come on, Rhiow thought. Tell me.
“I was in the alley,” Arhu said. “The food’s good there: they throw stuff out of that grocery store on the other side of it, the Gristede’s. But the pride there, Hrau and Eiff and Ihwin and them, they caught me and beat me again. They said they’d kill me, next time; and I couldn’t move afterward, so I just lay where they left me. No one else came for a good while… Then she must have come along while I was hurting. I couldn’t see her: I didn’t look, it hurt to move. She said, You could be powerful. The day could come when you could do all kinds of good things, when you could do anything, almost, with the strength I can give you… if you lived through the… test, the… hard time…” Arhu made an uncertain face, as if not sure how to render what had been said to him. “She said, If you take what I give you, and live through the trouble that follows—and it will follow—then you’ll be strong forever. Strong for all your lives.” His voice was going matter-of-fact now, like someone repeating a milk-story heard long ago against his dam’s belly wanted that. To be strong. I said, What could happen to me that would be worse than what’s already happened? Do it. Give it to me. She said, Are you sure? Really sure? I said, Yes, hurry up, I want it now. She said, Then listen to what I’m going to say to you now, and if you believe in it, then say it yourself, out loud. And I said it, though some of it was pretty stupid. And it was quiet then.”
“Hmm. Where was this alley, exactly?” said Urruah.
“Ru, shut up. You can check the Gristede’s later. Arhu,” Rhiow said, “say what she told you to.”
A little silence, and then he began to speak, and a shiver went down Rhiow from nose to taiclass="underline" for the voice was his, but the tone, the meaning and knowledge held in it, was another’s. “In Life’s name, and for Life’s sake, I assert that I will employ the Art that is Its gift in Life’s service alone. I will guard growth and ease pain. I will fight to preserve what grows and lives well in its own way: nor will I change any creature unless its growth and life, or that of the system of which it is part, are threatened. To these ends, in the practice of my Art, I will ever put aside fear for courage, and death for life, when it is fit to do so—looking always toward the Heart of Time, where all our sundered times are one, and all our myriad worlds lie whole, in That from Which they proceeded…”
No hesitation, no uncertainty; as if it had been burned into his bones. Rhiow and Urruah and Saash all looked at one another.
“Then what happened?”
He stirred. “After a while, I felt better, and I saw I could get away—none of them were there. I walked out into the street. It was quiet. It was late, just the steam coming up out of the street, you know how it does. I walked a long time until I saw inside there, inside those doors. It was all bright and warm, but the doors were shut. I thought, It’s no use, there’s no way to get in. But then—” Now he sounded dreamily mystified, though at a remove. “Then someone— men I heard how to get in, if I wanted to. I knew more than I knew a minute before: a way to move, and words to say. And she said, Do that, and then go in and see what happens. I dare you. So I did. I said the words, and I walked in through the doors … through them!… and then on under the sky-roof, and on down through those littler doors, down into the dark…”
Arhu trailed off, and shivered. “I’m tired,” he said, and closed his eyes.
Saash, lying beside him, looked at Rhiow thoughtfully, then started to wash the top of Arhu’s head.
Rhiow sat down and let out a breath. Well, she said silently to the others, in the form of the Speech that goes privately from mind to mind, it would appear that the Powers That Be have sent us a brand-new wizard.
Not a wizard yet, Urruah said, his eyes narrowing. An overgrown kitten on Ordeal. And since when do the Powers dump a probationer on already-established wizards? The whole point of Ordeal is that you have to survive it alone.
None of us, Saash said, ever does it completely alone. There’s always advice, at first: from Them, or other wizards. That’s most likely why he’s been sent to us. Who else has he got?
That’s the problem, Rhiow said. You know there are no accidents in our line of work. This kit was sent to us. He’s going to have to stay with us, at least until he’s started to take this seriously.
No way! Urruah hissed.
Rhiow stared at him. You heard him, she said. “I said it, though some of it was pretty stupid.” He’s not clear yet about the meaning of the Oath he’s taken. If he hadn’t met us, that would be his problem, and the Powers’: he’d live or die according to the conditions of his Ordeal and his use of the wizardry bestowed on him. But we found him—you found him!—and under the conditions of our own Oaths, we can’t let him go until he understands what he’s brought on himself. After he does, he’s the Powers’ business: he and They will decide whether he lives and becomes a wizard, or dies. But for the time being, we’re a pride in the nurturing sense as well as the professional one… and that’s how it will be. You have any problems with that?
She stared until Urruah dropped his eyes, though he growled in his throat as he did it. Rhiow cared not a dropped whisker for his noise. Urruah was still young in his wizardry but also profoundly committed to it, and though he could be lazy, tempery, and self-indulgent, he wouldn’t attempt to deny responsibilities he knew were incumbent on him.
“So,” Rhiow said aloud. “Saash, you seem to have become queen for the day…”
Saash made a small ironic smile, suggestive of someone enjoying a job more than she had expected. “It’s all right, I can manage him. He’ll sleep sound for a while… I made one of the small healing wizardries to start the wounds cleaning themselves out.”
“Make sure you sleep, too. I’ll make rounds in the Terminal in a while; Har’lh wanted the gates double-checked. Urruah, it would help if you held yourself ready while Saash is awake, in case she needs anything.”
“All right,” he said, and he brightened. “It’ll be ehhif lunchtime soon, and they’ll be throwing lots of nice leftovers in that Dumpster around the corner. Then there’s this alley, with the Gristede’s. Thirty-eighth, you think, Saash?…”
Rhiow’s whiskers went forward in amusement as she turned to jump down. For the moment, she wasn’t sure which was motivating Urruah more: the desire for food or the prospect of a good scrap with a tough pride. “Eat hearty,” she said, “and keep your ears unshredded. Call if you need anything: you’ll know where to find me.”
“Working,” Urruah said, in a voice of good-natured pity.
Chapter Three