“Why would you cry for me?” Melissa asked.
“I cry because I feel sorry for you, because I love you,” Jimmy said.
“You love me?”
“Yes, I do. I find you charming,” Jimmy said.
“Ah… Maybe someday I’ll give you a blowjob.”
“I can only hope.”
“I haven’t had a blowjob in over three years… But I never liked them anyway,” George said.
“I told the doctor I wanted to be free, so he gave me more medication,” Jimmy said.
“Is it helping?” Melissa said.
“I don’t want to be free anymore,” Jimmy said.
“What do you want to be now?” Melissa asked.
“Drunk.”
“I was drunk when they brought me here. I drank a bottle of whiskey, then I went to Denny’s, and picked up everybody’s cups in the smoking section and threw them at this picture on the wall of this one man walking alone in the desert. Then I got up on the counter and took off all my clothes. Then I think the cops took me here,” Melissa said.
“What were thinking about when you did it?” Jimmy said.
“I was thinking about the time my dad threw me into the wall for spilling a cup of Kool-Aid,” Melissa said.
“Why’d you take off your clothes?” Jimmy asked.
“I was going back to the primitive,” Melissa said.
“One time I stayed out in the woods for three days, until my parents found me and sent me here,” Jimmy said.
“One time when I saw my mother at the store and she said hi to me, I went home and cut off my pinky toe. Look, I have no pinky toe,” George said.
“That’s fucking grotesque,” Jimmy said.
“You’re deranged!” Melissa said.
“Do you guys think I’m ugly?” David said.
“Shut up, monkey!” Jimmy said.
“No, you look good, David,” Melissa said.
“What do you think, George?” David said.
“What, where, who, why, when?” George said.
“Do you think I’m ugly?” David said.
“I don’t think about you, David,” George said.
“What do you think about, George?” Jimmy said.
“Right now I’m thinking about when I went to the Marines, and I was doing push-ups. I had to do so many, it was unbearable. I was in Desert Storm, I killed people. It was horrifying. I think about those people a lot too… About their families, if they had kids, if they’re in heaven or not. I think a lot about those men… I killed people,” George said.
“Well, you had to do it… If you didn’t do it, then Kuwait wouldn’t be free,” Jimmy said.
“What do I care about Kuwait, I didn’t even know the country existed before they sent me there… And it sucked there too. It was completely impossible to find a prostitute,” George said.
“But you should be proud. You fought for America,” Melissa said.
“I fought because they paid me,” George said.
“I was little during Desert Storm. All I remember about it was those yellow ribbons everywhere. How come we aren’t putting up yellow ribbons for the soldiers who are going to fight in Iraq?” Jimmy said.
“Because no one believes in this war… I certainly don’t, I’m a pacifist,” Melissa said.
“You’re also a whore,” Jimmy said.
“A whore can be a pacifist,” Melissa said.
“Only in America,” Jimmy said.
“I killed people,” George said.
“Do you think I’m ugly, George?” David said.
“Shut up, David. The only reason you say that is because you want attention. And no one is going to give it to you anymore. So go fuck yourself,” Jimmy said.
“Fuck you, Jimmy!” David said. Then he got up and ran out of the room, crying.
“Thank God that piece of shit is gone,” Jimmy said.
“You’re fucking mean, Jimmy. I’ll never love you,” Melissa said.
“I’m honest,” Jimmy said.
“During high school I had sex with my best friend, Joey Smith… He had a huge penis,” George said.
“I’ve had sex with men too. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Jimmy said.
“I’ve had sex with over ten girls. I love the softness of girls so much, but I love dick, and I can’t leave it,” Melissa said.
“You’re absurd,” Jimmy said.
“Shut up, fag,” Melissa said.
“How can I be a fag, and yet love you?”
“Because you’re deranged!”
“I’m not deranged. I’m a normal, well-adjusted individual,” Jimmy said.
“I can hear you masturbating in your room,” Melissa said.
“I do it for you.”
“I think I love you, too.”
“When we leave here, do you want to drive to Las Vegas and get married?”
“Oh, that would be perfect.”
“I got married once in Mexico to a prostitute. Her name was Leonore, she was a beautiful girl… She wanted to go to America, and work at a hotel as a maid. So we got married and came to America. We lived together for a while, and then she left after I pulled a knife on her and said I would kill her if she ever ate all the ham again,” George said.
“You have a way with women, George,” Jimmy said.
“Did you ever have a relationship where you didn’t try to kill the girl?” Melissa said.
“Once I was going out with this girl Jesse, she had the hugest tits… She left because one time she got really drunk and passed out, and when she woke up her asshole hurt like hell,” George said.
“You’re fucked up, George,” Jimmy said.
“I’m a Marine, Semper Fi,” George said.
“I think I’m going to try to kill myself today,” Melissa said.
“That sounds like a great idea. I tried yesterday with a shaving razor, but they caught me before I was done,” Jimmy said.
“I’ve tried to kill myself eleven times, and I can’t die. It’s starting to get frustrating,” Melissa said.
“I’ll get my dad to bring his muzzleloader when he visits, you’ll be dead for sure then.”
“Yeah, I need a gun. A gun would do a great job.”
“Guns are really good at killing people,” Jimmy said.
“I killed people with a gun,” George said.
“You shall not kill, that’s a commandment,” Jimmy said.
“I know, I’m going to hell… When I die, I shall meet the devil,” George said.
“When I die, I shall meet Jesus,” Jimmy said.
“Jesus wouldn’t go anywhere near you, you dirty fiend,” Melissa said.
“I’m holy,” Jimmy said.
“You’re impure, and retarded,” Melissa said.
“I have walked the length of the desert to get to my Christ,” Jimmy said.
“I want to die and never wake up. No more reality, no more, no more,” Melissa said.
“We’re just skeletons… Underground we will lie, while the world is still going on. Then one day civilization will be gone, and then, there will be no one to remember the great and horrible things humans have done,” Jimmy said.
“Quit being so depressing… My doctor says we have to think positive,” Melissa said.
“Yes, let’s be optimistic,” Jimmy said.
“Someday we will get out, and we will be able to achieve our dreams, and be great citizens of America.”
“Yes, one day, life will be beautiful… Life will be worth living, and we will live it.”
“At one point in my life I was sitting in the desert shooting at people I didn’t know, for a reason I didn’t know… At another point in my life my own mother was fondling my penis… At another point in my life I was married to a Mexican prostitute… And currently at this point in my life, I don’t even know what day it is,” George said.
Bedroom Scene
In memory of Ashley Dixon. This was written several years before she ended her life. RIP.