With a flourish, I lifted a cloth covering a plate. Beneath was a grand meaclass="underline" a fish nestled in sweet syrup, a loaf of warm bread, and fruits so fresh she could smell them across the room. The scent obviously reached her, and she breathed in deep again, closing her eyes briefly. I produced a bottle of wine. She was so beautiful and overwhelmed.
But there was something else behind her smile. She'd brought a surprise of her own, one she couldn't hide. There was a feeling, of power, of the Flow. I'd felt it before-from Master Dumoss and his pendant. My teeth clenched together again and again. She rummaged through her basket for something, avoiding my eyes. She knew I could feel the pendant in the room.
What to do, what to say? What did it mean? Had she given herself to him? Was this our last meal together? After I'd fought and struggled so hard.
I decided to be calm and found my control, deeper now with practice, with success. I could feel the pendant so strongly. If I wore it, the power for my animals would raise me up, higher even than my current status.
Annise stopped her nervous search and put a hand over her throat, where the gold lace was stitched, the promotion from Dumoss. "He gave it to me today."
"I can feel it."
She turned, still nervous. Because she was worried I knew of her betrayal? Because there was no betrayal and she was afraid I would be offended by her acceptance of a gift from another man? One thing was certain: Dumoss was wearing her down. She was weakening, slowly allowing his advances. I'd seen her in the casino from the alley. I knew how she flirted and toyed with him. I'd seen Dumoss slip his arm around her. She needed to be saved from her own weakness with my strength, my success. As long as I was winning, she would be mine. My animals ceased their restless moving.
"Can you feel it?"
Annise brushed some hair from her face and nodded quickly. "A little. My magic is so weak. But it feels-"
"Wonderful." My tone was laced with happiness. We were both gaining the wealth we always wanted.
Annise looked up at me from beneath the shadow covering her eyes and saw my open, genuine smile. She nodded quickly again. "It feels lucky. That's what I'm told will happen. I'll have more magic, so I'll have more luck."
That made me laugh. I didn't tell her magic needed to be exercised, used, and practiced before you can have luck. She thought in terms of superstition and legend. I stood and gestured to the opposite chair. She laughed shortly and put the basket on the floor. She slid past me, without touching. I pulled the chair out, pushed it under her, and set the platter before her dark eyes, glowing warm in the candlelight. I lifted another cloth to reveal newly polished knives and forks.
Annise didn't know what to do. She was open, honestly charming. She gave me little joys without knowing or understanding how much they meant. I would have told her of the pleasure I got if I thought she wouldn't draw away. Instead, I demonstrated the proper process. Following my lead, she picked up the knife and fork, cut a delicate piece of fish, sticky with a slice of orange, and brought it to her lips. Annise stopped, breathed in the scent, then tasted the fish, luxuriating in the flavor.
I poured the wine into matching glasses while Annise chewed slowly, her eyes closed. Smoke from the candle curled into wreathes around her hair and spiraled toward her throat. The pendant filled me with the same languor as her eating. I reached out to touch it. Her eyes were closed; she wouldn't know, if I was careful. My animals were no longer calm. They were moving back and forth, excited.
Annise breathed deeply. I jerked my hand back just before she opened her eyes. Smiling at me over the rim, she sipped her wine, oblivious. I filled her cup again before she could find words, then finally sat down. Annise motioned me to eat, but the power of the pendant drew away my appetite. I forced myself to swallow anyway.
Some words passed between us, but we were both in different places-elevated-she by the grandeur of my offerings, I by her joy of the moment. My thoughts slipped to the pendant. I couldn't help it. This was what real gamblers had, what kept them apart from the poor more than doors and walls and guards. Everything I'd tasted up until then was nothing but rainwater, impure- the shallows. I wanted more of this power, for it would give me victory over Dumoss and let me keep her.
"What?" she asked.
I was staring at my mantis. My mouth was dry. I'd been muttering. Something needed to be spoken, something deep in my thoughts, something true. It was a gamble to bring it out, but I'd been lucky these past weeks.
"I said… I appreciate you. Just appreciate you."
I knew no man had ever told her more than that he wanted her. I suspected she heard it often at the casino from pit bosses and gamblers. I could picture them, the same look in their eyes when they glanced from her to the arena, the arena to her. They wouldn't see any difference in the prizes.
She blinked into the candlelight, smoke bringing tears to her eyes. She wiped them away and laughed. "Eat," she said.
A single, clean river ran through the city before the soldiers and the Brothers' War. My time then had always been spent working. Pushing vending carts had often taken me to the riverside. There were opportunities to steal moments, wash my face, rinse my aching feet.
Sunlight would make the river silver, sometimes too bright to look at. Stars created a ribbon of sparkling jewels-like Annise-too precious to touch. In the city there were few fish, if any, and nobody tried to catch them except the boys. They threw them back to be caught again.
One day back then the horizon-the mountains- were hidden in a red haze, sunlight angry till it rose overhead, again turning yellow. Birds lifted and flew away. Small animals hid themselves. The boys still caught fish, at least the dead ones that floated on top. That night, the moon burned the same angry red, even overhead. The river was no longer the plane of silver, the band of jewels. It became blood, became a black gash through the city. That was when the first dust fell.
I remember when all the birds left, streets vacant of their calls and songs. Everyone felt the danger, even with weak magic-everyone in the city had some. The sun stayed red till it set. The sky had no stars. The dust fell more thickly.
The great wave of heat and wind from the mountains happened when I was out with a cart. The morning was warm, nobody was buying, staying indoors, protected, they thought. I had wanted to wash my face. The water from a public fountain had stopped, clogged with dust. There were dead animals, squirrels in trees, mice, young birds who hadn't the strength to fly or sing. My gaze went to the mountains, wind rustling my hair. I could feel a power drawing near, outside my body, inside the Flow. At the time I knew little about it. There may have been a scream.
Then I was knocked over by wind, heat, and dust. Clouds coughed up the flesh of mountains, ashes choked the sky. Roaring power shot through the city, scattering everything. This was the power, we learned, of the Brothers' War. This was the aftermath of destruction.
Days and days passed when the only sound was the howl of outrage, of wind and dust and rocks pelting buildings, devouring the essence of the city, drinking its life. What remained collapsed from its own weight. Buildings fell, some overnight, and nobody could walk the streets. I huddled beneath dusty stairs for three days without food or water, staring into thick, rushing air. Things crawled over me. I didn't move.
The city was wrecked. The storm, as if alive, moved to find fresh prey. Memories of the end are cloudy now, but this memory is clear. Something changed, tore away the mantle of my previous life. I was determined to live. I reached down and by a shear force of will I survived. At the end of those three days I had found power-new, confused power relegated by luck. Nothing after that was ever the same.