I tried to interrupt but he was in full swing. Of course, Id oppose it. But who am I? And the White House might tax US investment in Britain. That would cause a real run on the pound. They could demote GCHQ [the top security radar espionage centre in Cheltenham Ed.] and upgrade the listening post in Spain instead. They might even leave Britain out of Presidential visits to Europe.
These were all humiliating threats, but the last was catastrophic. [This was because it would have been humiliating to Jim Hacker personally Ed.] I was virtually speechless at this onslaught.
But as I say, the Ambassador went on, hopefully misinterpreting my silence as a counter-threat [Hacker always was a wishful thinker Ed], I would certainly not recommend that sort of reprisal against our old friend, and old ally.
I couldnt think who he was talking about. Who? I asked.
You, he said.
I was about to edge away to talk to one of my other 200 guests, when the ambassador took me by the arm. Oh, by the way, I take it your man at the UN wont be supporting the Arab resolution condemning Israel? That would really make the White House burst a blood vessel. Freedom and democracy must be defended.
I agree, obviously, that freedom and democracy must be defended. So does any right-thinking person. Whether a UN resolution makes such a difference to the future of freedom and democracy is anyones guess. But the whole conversation was very unsettling. Ill see Duncan tomorrow.
April 11th
I didnt sleep too well last night. The American Ambassador had really worried me. This morning, first thing, I told Bernard all about it.
I asked Bernard, what is the big problem we have in East Yemen? Um, he said. He added that he would try and find out. I told him of the US worries about St Georges Island, and that the US felt the Foreign Office couldnt help because its full of pinkoes and traitors.
Its not, said Bernard indignantly. Well, not full.
Bernard said hed arrange a meeting with the Foreign Secretary for this afternoon. You can get him to sort it out, he said reassuringly. After all, they are on our side.
Who are? I asked.
The Americans, said Bernard.
Oh. They are, yes, I said. I thought for a moment you meant the Foreign Office.
It appears that Duncan Short, the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs, was unable to see the Prime Minister that day. A meeting was arranged at 10 Downing Street for the following morning. However, shortly after the Foreign Office received from Bernard Woolley the urgent request for a meeting with the Prime Minister, a different meeting was arranged for the same afternoon -- between Sir Richard Wharton, the new Permanent Secretary of the Foreign Office, and Sir Humphrey Appleby. Sir Humphrey makes a note about it in his private diary Ed.]
Dick Wharton of the FO came to my office for a quick chat. He was worried. I couldnt think why. I had understood that he had the Foreign Secretary eating out of his hand.
Dick confirmed that the Foreign Secretary was completely house-trained. The problem, apparently, is that the Prime Minister is starting to mistrust Foreign Office advice when Duncan gives it to him. It seems that the PM is even questioning Foreign Office policy.
Dick is beginning to see a danger of the Cabinet pursuing its own foreign policy. This would be absurd. The country cant have two foreign policies!
It is true that the PM is gravely under the influence of the White House. Except when it comes to Trident, which is the only time that he should be!
Dick told me of two matters on the horizon, over which the PM might need a little guidance in the right direction.
1. St Georges Island. Dick had to remind me where it was: one of those few islands in the Indian Ocean to stay in the Commonwealth after independence. It is democratic, has free elections, but there is a group of Marxist guerrillas in the mountains who are reportedly planning a coup.
These things happen, of course. But, according to Dick, the guerrillas are going to be helped by East Yemen -- or, to give it its full title, the Peoples Democratic Republic of East Yemen. Like all Peoples Democratic Republics it is a communist dictatorship.
These guerrillas from East Yemen are Soviet-backed and Libyan-backed. The FO is planning for Britain to stay out of the situation, because:
a) We would only upset a lot of front-line African states if we got involved.
b) We dont want to antagonise the Soviets at the moment.
c) We have just landed a large contract to build the new St. Georges Island airport and harbour installation. If we back the wrong side we will lose the contract.
d) We dont mind whether the democrats or the Marxists win. It makes no difference to us.
The potential problem with the PM: He might get into one of his ghastly patriotic Churchillian moods. He might want to start some pro-British defending democracy nonsense.
The Foreign Office solution: The PM must understand that once you start interfering in the internal squabbles of other countries you are on a very slippery slope. Even the Foreign Secretary has grasped that.
2. The Israelis raided Lebanon last week. It was a reprisal for the PLO bomb in Tel Aviv. The Arabs have put down a UN motion condemning Israel. Naturally we shall vote on the Arab side. But apparently the PM had indicated that he wants us to abstain. His reasons, as expressed to the Foreign Secretary, are unclear. But roughly:
a) the PLO started it this time;
b) faults on both sides;
c) concern about the Americans;
d) worries about the Holy Places.
The FO view is that points a) and b) are sentimental nonsense. With regard to c) the PM is dangerously sycophantic to the Americans as it is. As for point d), the PM should worry more about the oily places than the Holy Places.
The potential problem with the PM: Like all inhabitants of 10 Downing Street, he wants to take his place on the world stage. But people on stages are called actors. All they are required to do is look plausible, stay sober and say the lines they are given in the right order. Those that try to make up their own lines generally do not last long.
The Foreign Office solution: The PM must realise that as far as Foreign Affairs are concerned his job is to confine himself to the hospitality and ceremonial role.
[Appleby Papers FO/RW/JHO]
[Hackers diary continues Ed]
April 12th
My meeting with Duncan was mysteriously postponed yesterday. He came along to Number Ten this morning.
I told him that the American Ambassador had had an unofficial word with me the night before last.
About what? he asked nervously.
I sat back in my chair and watched him carefully. What do you know about St Georges Island?
Duncans eyes moved shiftily from side to side. What do you know about it? he asked. I didnt know whether he knew anything about it, or whether, like me, he was damned if he was going to reveal his total ignorance.
Youre the Foreign Secretary, not me. I allowed myself to sound a little indignant. Do you think theres any danger of a Communist takeover?
He still looked like a hunted rabbit. Did he say there was?
He hinted, I informed him, and waited for Duncans answer.
Duncan decided to take a firm, positive line. No. No danger at all.
Sure?
I awaited definite assurances. I got them, but I didnt feel very reassured. Of course. The Foreign Office would have told me.
Are you sure, I enquired, that they always tell you everything?
Everything they think I should know, he said with a confident smile.
Thats what I was afraid of, I retorted. But the White House is worried about it, apparently. And we mustnt upset them at the moment.