I hold my breath and grip the edge of the pool in need of stability. My legs shake and tighten as she slows and I start my hammering. I’m defeated. There’s no turning back at this point, even if I stop... hell... “Oh yeah.”
“Yeah?” she opens her eyes and licks her lips, driving me on.
“Yes,” I gaze into the water and watch my dick slide into her sweet hole. “Yes,” I say again as the first shot fires. “I love you.”
She clutches my ass and presses her entire body firmly into mine, and even with this embrace I’m still not close enough to this woman. I kiss her ear and cheek, being as warm and affectionate as I can. She whispers she loves me and it’s these poignant moments that make my eyes well with tears. I’m nothing without her. I don’t enjoy being away from her, or left alone. I need her.
“You mean the world to me,” I exhale and free my shrinking cock from her body.
“You too, husband,” she smiles. I wish she’d call me that more often. “Thanks for the chocolate by the way. That was thoughtful of you, even if it was Haverty’s idea.”
“What would you have done if I didn’t bring any home, been disappointed?” I pant as I carry her through the water.
“I didn’t even think of that,” she laughs. “Probably.”
“Do you believe this will ever slow down?”
“I told you this morning it has to, or I’ll go insane. I don’t want to hear or know anything more about my father.”
“No, beautiful,” I kiss her forehead in a loving gesture. “I’m talking about our love-making. Our fucking has to die down at some point, right? Haverty said he and...”
“Oh, God. Don’t listen to what Haverty has to say about sex. Alright? But to answer your question, yes. Like everyone else in this world, we’ll get old and boring, sit around and watch TV, maybe reality shows, and our highlight of the day will be a trip to the grocery store or to Walmart.”
“Well, you took my question and changed our lives from one extreme to another. There should be a middle ground in there somewhere, right? I mean, instead of having sex daily, in a few years it might drop down to three times a week, then maybe one or two. Right? That will be the norm?”
“Why are you thinking about this? Are you trying to tell me you’re bored?” she asks. “We don’t have to fuck all the time if you don’t want to.”
“No, that’s not it. I think about it constantly, so much that it’s kind of scary. I’m not bored. Are you?”
“Nope. Are you kidding?”
“Okay.”
“Okay? That’s it? Okay? Why did you bring it up?”
I don’t want to talk about this, but I promised, and she’s been so fucking polite about not pushing me for info since I got home. I think I’ll be a nice guy for once and start the conversation. “I felt like I broke your heart this morning, made you cry, you know... I don’t want it to happen again. I hope I just made it up to you.”
“It’s alright, your mother said I should get used to it, that it can happen every once in a while to some men.”
“Wait a second, Soph. What the fuck? You told my mother about this morning? Why?” I step out of the water and grab two towels that are draped over a chair and toss one down to her. “Jesus, don’t talk to my mother about my dick, okay?”
“But she was helpful. She said your father...”
“Aah! I’m covering my ears. I don’t want to hear it! Shut up, Sophia.”
She giggles and dries off, her body glistens as beads of water run down her stomach and legs. “I didn’t tell her you went soft, dodo brain. I only said you were distant when we made love. She made a reference to your dad zoning out, not to him losing his erection.”
“Oh, thank God. Alright, no more discussions with my mother about sex.”
“Cove, that’s not fair. You know I don’t have any family of my own to talk to, and your mother and I are close, more like sisters than mother and daughter.”
She’s right. It’s hard for her being on her own and not having a lot of people around who she can open up to; must be lonely. “I understand. I’m sorry. I know you need some support and comfort from a woman now and again.”
“Thank you,” she wraps the towel around her head and steps out of the room naked. I trail behind, with my pile of clothes in hand as we walk to our bedroom. “You are going to let me know what happened though, right? This conversation didn’t just end in the pool.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was starting to say before you mentioned my parents.”
“Well then, continue...”
She slips a black tunic dress over her soft skin and slides into a pair of black flip-flops on her way to the terrace. I join her; still with just a towel around my waist, and not giving a shit since I’m gonna take a shower after we talk.
The wind has picked up and she lowers the umbrella then stands next to the terrace railing as the breeze lifts her hair and dries it naturally. I set my arm over her shoulder and sigh.
“I haven’t had a chance to talk to you about Vegas since I got back.”
“I know. I’ve been good this time and haven’t pestered you with questions.”
“I noticed. Thank you,” I whisper. “Soph, it was the last of the older videos that were shot by your father’s company. I know you said you didn’t want to hear about him anymore but if you want to know what happened this morning I have to mention him.” She nods for me to continue. “I had to try and identify some of the people who were with me, but it was too long ago, and I was too young to remember their names. The images are entombed in my head like a dead mouse rotting away in one of the walls of a house. It’s stuck there, you smell it, but there’s nothing you can do to get rid of it. The only thing to do is to sit and wait for the air to clear.”
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers in her most caring and compassionate voice.
“I haven’t thought about one guy for over a decade, I might have even blocked him out, but he’s fresh in my mind now. I apologize, Soph, but what you were doing to me this morning was what he requested in the video. It wasn’t you who turned me cold, it was him.”
I’m held in her arms and I can sense her sadness.
“After you left this morning and I gave the event some thought I realized it probably had to do with your trip to Vegas,” she says. “I’ve done that move on you so many times and I know you love it, so it seemed unusual for you to shut down so quickly. I had a feeling something must have been on your mind from the porn industry. We’ll take a break from it for a while. I have other moves.”
“I thought you’d be upset I was thinking about someone else and wasn’t focused on you.”
She smiles with her arms lovingly around my waist then swings my body back and forth. “I’m a total bitch, Cove. An immature-foul-mouthed-self-centered-slut, so much so that I still can’t believe you asked me to be your wife, but I’m not so rotten as to joke about what happened to you, or become upset because your past has a hold on you... on us. The reality is I’d be worried if you acted like it was nothing. I do believe we still need to go to therapy though. It could help.”
“I got my father to promise to go, I guess it’s time for us as well. This shit I went through as a teenager will never go away, but maybe I can learn how to deal with it in a more positive way than always reaching for a bottle to calm down and forget my problems.”
“So, you don’t remember this guy?”
“No. What I could’ve said to the detectives about him wouldn’t be very helpful, so I didn’t say anything.”
“Like what?”
“He smelled of onions.”
“Ug, I know how much you hate them.”
“Yeah, I remember the smell was on his entire body and it made me nauseous. I was wasted too, so much so that the guy was practically holding me up in the shot. It was sickening to see myself all tanked up and...” My fists tighten; I close my eyes and exhale deeply. “I’m sorry. I should have told you immediately, but I didn’t want to disappoint you. You know?”