“Take it easy on your health,” I said.
“I now understand everything. If only I had the strength, I would’ve shown him.”
“How come you didn’t see through him?”
“Everyone has secrets which he conceals. I shan’t deny that I was fooled.”
“We’d better consult a lawyer.”
“That’s the best way to spread the scandal. Actually, he’s conceded to all my rights without the least objection,” I said.
“This quick divorce may tempt evil tongues to gossip about you.”
“I can take that, and pretty soon it will all be forgotten.”
Although none of my colleagues said anything, I could sense that the place was fraught with questions, particularly on Elwan’s part. I was exceedingly angry with him.
“I’m very unhappy,” he whispered one day when we were alone.
“Why?” I inquired coldly.
“Maybe it’s a feeling of guilt.”
“You’ve nothing to do with what happened.”
“I still love you,” he said, averting his eyes from me.
“I don’t want to hear this word, please!” I said sharply.
As time went by, everything seemed to aggravate me, even my own anger. I began to feel as sorry for him as I was for myself. I even began to wonder how things were going between him and Gulstan. Would he marry her one day? What’s wrong with that? The woman may be better than her brother. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her. And she obviously wants him. Damn it, she loves him! Who would’ve thought that one day we would have parted? Who would’ve thought that our big hopes would have frittered away like a handful of dust? One day, as we were getting ready to leave, he whispered:
“I’m dying to have a few words with you.”
My immense desire to talk to him made me as silent as the grave. So we went to the Pyramids Resthouse, where we had some sandwiches with our tea, and kept staring at each other foolishly.
“What are your plans?” he asked.
“I’m living without plans or dreams, which gives me peace of mind,” I said quite simply.
“Me too, but Grandpa says that suddenly — ”
I interrupted him. “Forget about your grandfather and his quotable quotes. They’re of no use to us. When will you marry Gulstan?”
“Who said that?” he inquired, glowering.
“I don’t sell myself.”
“You therefore think I sold myself?”
“No, it’s a different matter. It’s not unusual for a girl to marry a man older than herself, hut the “ he replied hurriedly.
He scrutinized me carefully.
“Why did your marriage break up?” he then asked. I had a genuine desire to confess the truth to him, to
in particular, rather than to anyone else.
“Promise not to whisper a word to a single soul?”
So I let out all the feelings bottled up within me. “The bastard!” he suddenly cried out. “The time for anger is over. But please don’t forget
promise.”
“It’s beyond one’s wildest imagination.” “More amazing things have been heard though.”
Muhtashimi Zayed
I dream of my father, my mother, and my sister Mahasin. I even once beheld them in a parachute floating above my head. Has perchance the time to depart drawn close? Is it time that the old man spared the country the cost of his pension? I’m in good health in spite of Sulayman Mubarak’s evil eye! Health is ailment enough. O Lord! Thy worshipper is waiting. At any moment he expects to hear the knell of parting day, and he shall welcome the caller with all due respect. O Lord, may everything end well! Protect me from pain and infirmity. I thank Thee for a long and happy life. Suffice it that I have not harmed a single soul in the world of ours replete with harm. I have spent my old days strolling amid Thy words, Thy prophets, and Thy saints. Earlier I braved the vicissitudes of Thy world. Worship is now my form of exercise, songs my entertainment, and lawful food my enjoyment. The feast comes along adorned with autumnal dewdrops. White clouds gather over the somber River Nile and the towering evergreen trees. These kinds of days are few and far between in the life of this shattered family. Fawwaz relaxes in his Hanaa combs her white hair whilst Elwan is busy shaving, getting ready to go out.
“Children, we’re finally gathered together as one happy family!” I cried joyfully, looking at them one by one.
“A drop of rest in a sea of fatigue,” said Fawwaz in his loud voice.
“Had things been different, we would’ve gone off to the Qanater Gardens.”
Actually, it’s a crazy idea.”
“We eat and sleep. That’s what’s left of the feast.”
“And you, Elwan?”
“I’ll walk over to the Café.”
“Gossip as usual!” said Fawwaz with a smile.
“Once again, the feast coincides with another festive occasion — Victory Day,” I added.
“Victory and prison,” added Elwan ironically.
“Nothing ever remains the same. There’s always something new under the sun,” I said good-humoredly.
Long live patience and let’s just keep waiting!”
“A new oil dig or the discovery of an unknown river in the desert,” Fawwaz.
“Or the outbreak of a revolution,” said Elwan.
“Does revolution mean more than just added destruction?” surmised Fawwaz.
“To make matters even worse than they are!” cried Elwan sarcastically.
They know nothing of revolutions. They haven’t even heard of them. The hired storyteller has told them a false, untrue story. The poor teacher begins his lesson with the treacherous question: What were the causes of the failure of the 1919 revolution?
Goddamn bastards! Have you no drop of decency left? Prison worshipers of Nero… There goes Elwan waving to us as he goes by. Off he goes, burdened by his own disappointment and that of his generation.
“Let’s watch the celebrations,” said Hanaa, switching on the television set.
The general atmosphere is one of immense joy. The President walks by, surrounded by a luminous halo like that of the Night of Fate, clad in his commander’s uniform and the king’s scepter in his hand. Hordes of dignitaries follow.
“He’s ever so pleased with himself,” said Hanaa innocently.
“Today’s his day,” I said.
“He’s happy and deserves to he so,” said Fawwaz. “He’s lost so much since September fifth,” he added sorrowfully.
A ground and air parade all at once: a rare sight, not likely to happen again.
“We would see the army only on Mahmal Day,” I said in a voice echoing from the past.
“Look, Father, that’s a whole other world.”
“His face is all pink as though he’s smeared it with rouge,” said Hanaa with a laugh.
The army units go by and so does time. I start to feel lethargic and sleepy. Then suddenly I wake up at a strange point in time. History and time corner me, saying: That is how the events you skimmed through in history books took place. And now it’s happening right here in the living room. The television screen becomes blurred and an unusual commotion follows: voices are heard and then a blackout.
“Fawwaz, is there anything wrong with the television set?”
I don’t know what happened.”
I don’t feel comfortable,” said Hanaa in a worried tone.
“Me too,” added Fawwaz.
“Is…?“ I asked.
“God only knows, Father. Pretty soon we’ll know everything.”
“God protect us!” I said from the bottom of my heart.
Elwan Fawwaz Muhtashimi