“He has a funny way of showing he cares,” Jill groused.
Paula looked exasperated. “You want to know how much he cares? Let me tell you. Stephen’s been asking me to take over DC operations for years. I kept turning him down. Had my hands full keeping Europe from falling apart as it is. But three months ago, I took the job. You know why? Because Roen begged me to. Said he couldn’t handle protecting you and working his leads at the same time. He begged me; hands and knees begged.” Paula’s words slurred as she clasped her hands together, shaking them back and forth. “‘Please, Paula, come to the States and watch over my fool wife. They’ve got morons watching her back. There’s no one else I trust!’”
That surprised Jill. “And you came? I didn’t know you two were so close.”
Paula shrugged. “Yol and Tao share a special bond. That makes Roen my brother.”
“I’m glad Baji doesn’t have that with Tao,” Jill said. “That’d be weird.”
“Has Marco charmed you into submission yet?” Paula asked.
“I don’t know,” Jill said. “He’s dashing for sure, but he’s constantly flirting, so I don’t know if he’s serious.”
“He’s so smooth you’ll wake up in bed with him and be unsure how you got there,” Paula chuckled.
Jill gave her a startled look. “You didn’t. Did you?”
“Once, maybe three times,” Paula admitted. “Well, I did work with him for five years. Can’t keep up my defenses all the time.”
“Why did you assign him to me then?” Jill said, exacerbated. “I don’t need someone like him right now.”
“He’s still one of the best,” Paula shrugged, “and I owe it to Roen to send you the best. Besides, Marco’s not a bad person. He’s just a man of loose morals.”
And then something clicked for Jill. “You know, for a while, I wondered what it was I loved about Roen. And that’s it. He’s safe and he’s sincere. I worry about a lot of things with him, but never his intentions. He’s always been committed to me even when he does boneheaded things like follow Tao to the end of the Earth.”
“You have him pegged right about that. He is boneheaded and will follow Tao into hell and back, but he is also committed to you.”
“So again, why send me Marco?” Jill asked. “There’s got to be other agents who are just as good.”
Paula poured herself another glass of sangria and looked Jill squarely in the eyes. “Because I’m not daft enough to be completely on his side. You’re your own woman.”
That gave Jill a lot to think about, and for the rest of the night, Roen stuck in her head. He would never be as handsome or charming as Marco, and she would always have to share him with Tao, but she would always be his. Well, Cameron’s also, but that was a plus. And while she faulted him for abandoning her, she knew that in his mind, no matter how wrong he was, he did it with them in mind. That night, after Paula had dropped her off at home, Jill crawled into bed and called her son.
“Hello?” Lee Ann’s voice came across the other line.
“Hey Mom,” Jill said in a small voice. “I know it’s late. Is Cam still up?”
“Jilly! How are things leading the free world?”
Jill didn’t have it in her to tell her mother about the situation. She choked up a little. “Good, good. Just wanted to say hi to my little man.”
“We were about to put him down but he can stay up for a bit. Oh, by the way, Roen stopped by a few weeks ago.”
Twinges of anger passed through her. It was his fault Cameron was thousands of miles away, and now he was able to see her son before she was? It was unfair. Still, he made the effort, and she would have been more disappointed if he hadn’t.
She forced a chuckle out. “How did Dad treat him? I hope he wasn’t holding any sharp objects at the time.”
Lee Ann laughed. “Oh, he got the rifle out and was about to shoot him. He didn’t, of course. You know your father. All bark and bad aim.”
“How’d Roen look?”
“Looking a little haggard to be honest. I wonder what he’s been up to. I tell ya, he actually looks pretty distraught about being away from you and Cam. What happened between you two? Why won’t you tell me?”
Jill sniffled and wiped the tear trickling down her face. “It’s complicated, Mom.” She paused and regained her composure. “Can I talk to Cam?”
She heard some shuffling and then a squeal. Then a sleepy child’s voice piped up. “Mamma?”
The waterworks began to flow down Jill’s face. “Hey Cam Cam. Are you being a good boy?”
“Yes,” he said. “Grandma gave me ice cream and Eva ate it.” Jill laughed through her tears as her son told her the fantastic and exciting adventures of his day as only a three year-old could. It seemed that he and Eva had become best friends and best enemies, and the two waged a never-ending war over his toys. “And then Eva chewed the ear off of Pooples,” he said as he finished the story.
“I’ll get you a new teddy bear,” she promised.
“I don’t want another teddy bear,” he protested. “I want Pooples.”
“I’ll have grandma fix it then,” she paused. “Did you see your daddy?”
“Yeah,” he said slowly. “Daddy looks dirty.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, he has dirt all over his mouth. I tried to wipe it off, and it pricked me.”
Jill laughed. “Daddy’s a porcupine?”
“Yeah, he’s like a…” He struggled with the word. Then the line became quiet. “I miss you and Daddy,” a subdued Cameron said. “When are you coming home?”
Jill almost lost it right there. For the next few seconds, it took everything she had to hold it together and to not break down. Finally, after a few deep breaths, she put the phone next to her face. “As soon as possible, Cam Cam. So tell me more about your day?”
For fifteen more wonderful minutes, she listened to him babble on about his life. She ended up promising to ask Lee Ann if Eva could stay with Cameron once he came back home. That would be a tall order to fill. Jill remembered her mother saying that she would rather give up Louis than part with Eva. But still, it was a wonderful way to end the night. She fell asleep dreaming of sleeping next to Roen and holding their son in between them. The war and all the dangers and trappings of it were a distant memory, at least for one night.
The phone rang sometime between when Jill’s head hit the pillow and when she was supposed to be at work six hours later. It rang forever, and eventually, the incessant chirping penetrated her subconscious and slapped her awake. Jill was not a happy camper when she fumbled for the source of her disturbance on the nightstand.
“Yes,” she mumbled, scowling at the clock and plopping her head back down on her pillow.
“It’s me. Did I catch you at a bad time? You sound tired.”
“I sound tired because you are calling me in the middle of the night. What do you want, Roen?”
“Just finished lunch. Wanted to check up on you. So… what’s up?”
“Did I mention it’s the middle of the night?” She rolled her eyes. What was wrong with him?
The concept of Greenwich Mean Time escapes him. And why is he chit-chatting? He hates small talk.
That was true. Hell, Roen hated talking on the phone. He must either be worried or wanted something from her. As much as she hated to admit it, he could be cute when concerned.
“So how are things with Marco?”
Ah, of course.
Jill shot up into a sitting position. “Is this why you called? To check up on me and Marco?”
There was a pause. “No.” Another pause. “Of course not.”
“It is!” Jill’s grip on the phone tightened. “Well, he’s fine. In fact, he’s more than fine. He’s a pretty terrific guy!”
“You don’t have to lie just to be mean to me.” He sounded sullen.
This made Jill’s blood boil even more. “No, I mean it. He’s nice to me. He opens the door for me. He calls me pretty. All the time, Roen. All the frigging time!”