“Maybe he and I should talk to him.”
That inappropriateness extends to you too, Roen. Let them figure it out.
Roen kept an eye on Faust as the rest of the men ate. His friend had not moved from the balcony all night. Finally, as they were clearing the table, he brought dinner to Faust as an excuse to chat. He walked out to the balcony with a bowl of brown rice with tofu in one hand and a six-pack of Taiwan beer in the other. He placed the food and beer on the small table and pushed it over. Faust didn’t seem to care about either and continued staring out into the night. Unfazed, Roen sat down next to his friend and put his feet up. They sat in silence for ten minutes. Roen had hoped that Faust would open up first. When he didn’t, Roen decided to give it a go.
“Kind of muggy tonight, huh?” he said casually.
Eloquent as always I see. You must score quite often in speed dating.
“Hush. I’m trying to break the ice.”
“Is there something I can help you with, Roen?” Faust spoke in a dull, tired voice. “If it’s okay with you, I’d just like to be left-”
“You know,” Roen quipped. “Did I tell you how I used to be this fat dude who weighed over two hundred pounds? Was wearing size forty-two pants. Huffed and puffed going up and down an elevator. Then one day, this crazy voice started talking in my head. Made me do all sorts of crazy shit like jogging and throwing out pot pies. Hell, he hurt my feelings and called me names. Made me go shopping for clothes.” He paused. “Did you know that I never shopped for clothes until I was thirty? My mom used to do that for me.” Roen swore he saw the end of Faust’s mouth tilt up just a smidgen.
“Look,” Faust put his hands behind his head and stared straight up. “I know what you’re trying to do and I appreciate it, but I don’t need a pep talk. And honestly, just don’t even try.”
“I’m just saying, as a host, I can sympathize,” Roen struggled for the right words.
Faust’s eyes narrowed. “Just because you’re a host doesn’t mean you went through the same things. You’re not a mind reader. You don’t know what I’m thinking. And by the way, it’s none of your goddamn business anyhow.” His voice trailed off, and the two ended up sitting in silence again.
Is this unfolding as you planned? I told you this was not a wise idea.
“Did I ever tell you about my pregnancy theory?” Roen quipped again.
Good Lord. Not this.
“I’m pretty sure I know how pregnancy works,” Faust said dryly.
“I’m talking about the pain.”
“You mean how my wife always lords over me about how much pain it was to give birth to my two kids?”
“Exactly. So you know what I told Jill? We were coming back from a Nationals game. I had drunk too much beer and we were still twenty minutes from home. I told her that it hurt so much holding it in that now I knew what it felt like to give birth.”
Faust choked on his beer and gasped at Roen in disbelief. “You didn’t!”
Roen shrugged. “As a guy who has been shot a couple of times, I have a pretty good gauge for pain. I think holding the bladder ranks up there. Pregnancy couldn’t be that much worse.”
And you wonder why Louis thinks you are an idiot.
“Well, Tao, she didn’t have to announce my theory to her entire family and force me to explain myself.”
Faust held his hands up in front of Roen’s face as if holding an imaginary ball. “You realize that a baby comes out of a woman’s vagina about the size of a cantaloupe.” His hands extended out a little more. “It has to expand to that size.”
“Maybe a fat baby,” Roen grumbled.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Faust said in dismay, giving Roen an incredulous look. “My wife would whack me on the side of the head if I told her that.”
“Jill did,” Roen admitted.
Faust frowned. “And how exactly does this relate to a Quasing in my head?”
“It doesn’t,” Roen admitted. “Just wanted to see if you still had a sense of humor. But look, you’re going through some stuff right now, much like how I did when I first got Tao. Yeah, both our circumstances were different, but just because I don’t know exactly what you’re going through doesn’t mean I don’t recognize the pain and confusion you’re dealing with. Not sure if you’ve noticed, but you just had a sudden change in your life that’s akin to a woman getting pregnant, except for them it’s nine months. For you, there’s no going back. For a woman, it’s mostly biological. For you, it’s completely psychological. And to be honest, I bet Ramez’s an asshole to boot.”
That earned a chuckle from Faust. “You got one thing right so far.”
“So what is it?” Roen continued. “You feel exposed? No more privacy in your world? Is Ramez harping because you’re not subscribing to his every whim?”
“You were a blank slate when Tao found you,” Faust said stubbornly. “He was able to mold you. I’m an old dog. You can’t just teach me new tricks. You don’t know how I feel-”
“You mean about losing control of your life? How you’re suddenly not sure if the sounds inside your head are from yourself or this alien presence?” Roen shrugged. “Maybe you’re right. Every other Quasing since the dawn of time has gotten along swimmingly with their host except you. The problem must be you.” He took a swig of the Taiwan beer and passed it over.
Faust stared at the can for a moment before taking it. “It’s a lot to get used to,” he conceded. “Nothing like how I thought it’d be.”
“Just remember,” Roen said. “We’re not the Genjix. We don’t consider the Quasing some form of holy angel from up on high. You’re Ramez’s partner and you both have to treat each other with a certain degree of respect and deference. Set up boundaries. You two are stuck together for a long time.”
Faust downed the beer and crushed the can in his hands. Roen picked up two more and handed one to him. They clinked cans and sat in silence again.
“A long, long time,” Roen finally said, really elongating those vowels.
“Like being pregnant forever,” Faust added, lighting a cigarette.
Roen finished his beer and patted Faust on the shoulder. “Anyway, I’m here if you need someone to talk to. Figure your crap out, because we need Faust back.” He turned to leave.
“Hey, Roen,” Faust called. “Thanks.”
Roen nodded. “Any time, buddy. By the way, since you can’t seem to sleep right now, you get first watch. Make happy with Ramez and get your ass back to work.”
TWENTY-SIX
DINNER PARTY
The Great War almost saw me to the Eternal Sea. I was unprepared for Franz’s death, and survived only by flitting through a Serbian national. All that I had built to obtain a host in the Prussian royalty was lost in an instant. In those four years, I occupied over forty hosts.
It took until near the end of the war before I was able to regain my equilibrium and inhabit another young Prussian nobleman. It took several more years to re-establish my lines of communication with the Prophus network. Then World War II happened.
Baji
Jill’s eyes started drooping somewhere in between Senator Gastigone’s diatribe about defense, the deficit, the debt, and some other d-something. Her brain wasn’t computing on all cores right now. He had this monotone voice that had an inflection range between middle C and C sharp. His monologue became a Peanuts episode with the teacher making wah wah wah noises.
Wake up!
Jill shook herself and stifled a yawn. She spent the next few minutes willing her eyes to stay as peeled open as possible. She picked up a glass of water and sipped. It was her fifth sip in as many minutes. She wasn’t even thirsty, but the pretense of drinking helped keep her awake. Her body swayed as if she was at sea and she desperately sought a way to conclude the meeting. Then she noticed that Gastigone had finished talking and was looking at her expectantly.