"No." She bit her lower lip. "I can't begin to have doubts now. I won't let myself. Everything would be empty if I did." She shook her head. "I know you too well to believe that."
"You don't know anything about me," he said roughly. He stood up and jammed his hands into the pockets of his velour robe. "Nothing. You've blown me up into some kind of fantasy figure."
"I know everything about you," she said clearly. "Everything. I've made a study of you since I was twelve years old, when you saved me from getting my throat slit in the bazaar. Would you like me to tell you what I know about you, Philip?"
"I'd be fascinated."
"You're self-indulgent, sensual, arrogant, and much too accustomed to getting your own way," she said calmly. "You're also highly intelligent, have a wonderful sense of humor, and are practically a workaholic when it comes to bettering the lot of the people here in Sedikhan."
His eyes narrowed. "Go on."
She moistened her lips. "You're a magnificent horseman and kind to animals. You won't permit yourself many friends, but you're intensely loyal to those you do have." Her lips twisted with pain. "However, you don't permit women to share your friendship. I think I was as close as you've gotten there." She paused. Oh dear, here goes. "Not that I can blame you. With a mother like Helena Lavade, it's amazing that you're as tolerant of women as you are."
He stiffened. "I don't believe I like being probed to that extent."
"You have a perfect right to resent it. Just as I had a right to resent that detective report you had drawn up on me. Only my excuse for prying was more valid. I knew I was going to have a battle on my hands, and I needed all the ammunition I could get."
"And what do you think you've found out about my twisted psyche? Perhaps you should have turned your talents toward being a psychologist instead of a rock singer."
She ignored his sarcasm. She had known he would become defensive when she brought Helena Lavade into the conversation. "I found out you'd been hurt," she said quietly. "Your mother was an exceptionally beautiful woman as well as an extremely ambitious one. Helena was half-Sedikhan and half-English, and she was a Khadim. She wanted power and became your father's mistress. That was only the first step in her plan. Helena made sure that she became pregnant by your father. Then she demanded marriage as well as a great deal of money. She knew he wanted a son and she threatened abortion If he didn't give in to her demands." Pandora shook her head. "She should have known better. From what I've heard, your father was a great deal like you. He married her all right, but he refused to pay the blackmail, imprisoned her in her quarters, and had her watched like a hawk until you were born. She was furious and full of hate. She managed to escape a few weeks after you were born and took you with her. She was very clever, and the sheikh didn't find the two of you for almost eight years. Then he divorced Helena and brought you back to Sedikhan." She met his gaze. "I don't know what she did to you in those years, but the stories I heard in the bazaar weren't pretty. She couldn't punish your father so she punished you." Her hands suddenly clenched on the satin sheet. "I would have killed her," she said fiercely.
"Would you?" There was a curious tenderness in his face. "You always were a protective little thing." His expression hardened. "That was a long time ago. I have no need of either vengeance or sympathy now." He paused before adding deliberately, "And I have no need of you, Pandora."
She felt a swift jab of pain. "You do need me. You just haven't realized it yet. That's what this is all about." She lifted her chin. "I have to make you realize it."
"Well, you're not going to get the opportunity," he said curtly. "I'm sending you back to the United States tomorrow."
No," she said with great certainty. "I'm not going. I knew that would be your reaction, so I took
precautions." She made a face. "Or rather, lack of precautions."
"I'd be interested to know how you think you can prevent me from sending you away. If you recall, I'm the reigning head of this province. I can do anything I damn well please with you."
"But you won't," she said. "Because I've borrowed a page from your mother's book. Not that I like the idea of being associated with that bitch in anyway."
"Which page?" he asked, his expression suddenly wary.
"I told you the timing was very delicate," she said quietly. "Not only because I knew I couldn't keep up the pretense for long, but for physical reasons. I went to the doctor and had him chart my fertile period." She smiled shakily. "This is it. I could very well be pregnant with your child, Philip."
For the briefest instant he looked as if something had knocked the breath out of him. Then his expression was once more impassive. "Blackmail is an exceedingly ugly practice."
She sighed. "I was afraid you'd be suspicious. I can't really blame you. I have no intention of trying to force you to marry me. If you'll contact Abernathy in London, you'll find he's received a legal document absolving you of responsibility for any possible issue. If you like, I'll ask Neal if it's all right if I name him as the father. I don't think he'd mind."
"The hell you will." The words were so violent they shocked her. He was silent for a moment, fighting for control. "Your friend can father his own child. He's not claiming mine."
"No one's claiming your baby," she said soothingly. "There may not be a baby. I just wanted to make very sure there was the possibility of one. I know how possessive you are, and I know you'll keep me with you until you're sure one way or the other. That gives me a few weeks, maybe even more. I've never been regular."
"You're taking a big chance," he said quietly. "You could lose everything. There's every possibility you may end up with an illegitimate child. I have no intention of marrying you."
"I know you don't. I told you I didn't expect that. I just want to be with you. I want to be a part of your life. That will be enough for me." She smiled mistily. "Besides, even if you did decide to kick me out, I'd still have the baby. That would be wonderful. I've always been pretty much alone, you know."
Lord, how he knew that. He took an impulsive step forward. "Pandora . . ."He stopped. He stood there with disparate emotions fighting for supremacy within him: exasperation, amusement, and the poignant tenderness she had always been able to call forth so effortlessly. Then his expression clouded. "No. I won't be manipulated. If you want to play woman of the world, get some other man to pay for your favors."
"I do want to be your woman," she said softly. "And your friend. And the mother of your child. I want to be everything to you. And I don't want to sell, only to give, Philip."
He ran one hand distractedly through his hair.
"Dammit, I'll hurt you. You know I'll hurt you. You know me."
"Maybe." She shrugged. "But if I am hurt, it may be worth it."
"Go away, Pandora." There was a note of pleading in the command. "For some reason I find the idea of hurting you distasteful." .