There wasn’t a whole lot about deities in the book. What was there didn’t even warrant its own chapter. I’d found the information stuffed in the middle of the miscellaneous chapter:
<Note added by Crawler Coolie, 19th Edition>
There are three types of deity summonings. Avoid all three. Only idiots deal with deities. Some of them are genuine NPCs, but the big ones like Apito and Eris and so forth are always sponsored by some rich prick who basically paid extra to play a game called the Celestial Ascendency. The game is contained on the 12th floor, but the individual gods sometimes get called away. That game is different than the faction wars game and has its own followers and storyline. I don’t really understand, but I do know this. The gods are invulnerable except on the 12th and above floors. They are strong. They kill everything. And there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.
Anyway, the three types of summonings. All three require a physical vessel. Usually a mob. There are celestial boons, which is when a worshipper prays to a god, and he comes to fight for his worshipper. There are indentured summonings, where a powerful mage summons the deity to fight for him for a short time. This is against the god’s will, and they are usually pissed when it happens. And finally there are involuntary summonings. That’s when some poor fool accidentally summons the god because of some trap or spell or just bad luck. The gods are usually pissed about this one, too, and what’s worse, they arrive untethered, which allows them to smash everything in sight.
In my short experience, all three scenarios lead to the summoner’s death. Even the first scenario. Don’t trust deities under any circumstance. Just stay the fuck away. That’s my advice.
<Note added by Crawler Forkith, 20th Edition>
They may be invulnerable, but they still feel pain. They still bleed. The drivers of these bodies suffer. In honor of my sister, I pray I make it to the 12th floor just so I may slay one. I know this is but a dream, but I will look in the god’s eyes and say to him, “This is for Barkith. This is for my sister.”
Following this was a second note by Coolie, which focused mostly on involuntary summonings, which is what happened when I used my gauntlet. Apparently this was a pretty common thing, a way to collect more sponsorship money. God-summoning equipment was sprinkled throughout the dungeon, allowing for special guest appearances. Oftentimes the deity spots were purchased by celebrities. It was a safe way to get in on the game if one wasn’t part of one of the dynastic families who controlled the armies of the 9th floor.
At the end of all that, there was one additional note. It wasn’t something I’d be able to utilize any time soon, but it was interesting, and I filed the information away.
<Note added by Crawler Tin, 21st Edition>
I have noticed something quite curious. The gods and goddesses are Soul Armor. So when the aliens inhabit the bodies of the gods, they do so like the Intellect Hunters, the Scree, and the Valtay. The aliens are wearing the gods like clothes. That means they can, in theory, be removed with a successful cast of any spell designed to remove biological armor, such as Take That Shit Off and Laundry Day. You’d have to first defeat the invulnerability, of course. Plus it won’t hurt the gods, who will revert to their programing, natural state, whatever you wish to call it, and who knows what’ll happen to the aliens who were driving them. But if you need a god to do your bidding, it might be in your best interest to first shed it of its off-world influence. I have noticed that the aliens are quite unpredictable in their manner.
It took Mordecai an unusually long time to answer my question. I suspected he was consulting with Donut to make sure I wasn’t planning anything stupid.
Mordecai: A deity involuntarily summoned lasts as many seconds as the level of the vessel plus as many seconds as the god’s level. Grull is a sanctum-tier deity, which means he is level 250. Mantaurs are level 40, so it would be for a total of 290 seconds.
That was slightly different than what it said in my book, but the end result was similar. Actually, better. It said they’d last for about five minutes. They probably didn’t know the exact formula. I quickly added it to the book.
Carclass="underline" How big will he be?
Mordecai: Why are you asking this?
Carclass="underline" Running low on time, Mordecai.
Mordecai: The answer is kind of complicated. The short answer is once summoned, he will grow until he fills the chamber he is in. Like that rage elemental you faced earlier. The real version can change sizes, but if he’s summoned the rules are different. Summoning is a very complicated process that we don’t have time to explain.
Carclass="underline" Wait, so if I summon him into a potion vial, he’ll be tiny?
Mordecai: Yes. But he’ll be strong enough to get out unless you build the proper sigil, and none of you are level-20 summoners, so that’s not going to happen.
Carclass="underline" Gotcha. One more question. After he’s summoned, how long before I can summon again. Can I summon him again right away?
Mordecai didn’t answer for a long moment.
Mordecai: Once he’s summoned and then unsummoned, you can bring him back right away. There’s no cooldown. You can also steal him from one summoning to a second summoning. So if he’s captured in a sigil, and a worshipper summons him again via a different means, the god will break his containment and move to the new vessel. This… this is very important to know. I learned it the hard way. The hardest way possible.
Carclass="underline" Thanks, Mordecai.
Mordecai: Now don’t you even dare think about…
I closed out the chat. I turned to the others. “The plan has changed.”
“To what?” Li Na asked the same time Katia said, “Uh oh.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll figure it out as we go.”
I stepped out from the tunnel, loaded the banger sphere in my xistera, and I spun, hurling it at the pair of mantaurs. They were pretty far away, and I honestly didn’t think I could possibly throw the damn thing that distance, but sure enough, the round ball sailed directly at them. My aim was off, but the metal ball hit the ground just in front of them with a plink. One of them reached down to pick it up. My second ball was already in the air, and this one hit home, crashing into the creature’s head. He cried out in pain. A distant health bar appeared over him.
Their dots had been the white of NPCs, but the ghouls weren’t attacking them, and I had multiple reports of them attacking all crawlers on sight. Their dots both turned red the moment they saw me there. I waved and waited. They fell forward and started galloping toward us. They moved quickly, but in an odd, halting fashion, straight out of a horror movie.
“They really are disturbing,” Donut said from my shoulder. “They should have two pairs of legs and one set of arms, not one pair of legs and two pairs of arms.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty weird,” I agreed.
“Li Na is really mad at you about this,” Donut said. “She called you an idiot.”
“That's because I am an idiot,” I said. “I've never denied it.”
We stepped back into the tunnel to wait for them.
All of us stood in front of the cart. All except Zhang, who now stood in the cart’s cockpit, ready to turn it off if he had to. The portal swirled ominously behind our backs. From the business side of the portal, it looked like a pool of mercury. I had an inexplicable desire to reach out and stick my hand into the pool of magic. And then it would be over. All of this would be over.