New Achievement! They like me! They really like me!
You are one of the first five crawlers to have achieved 500 trillion followers! People sure love a good train wreck. Wink.
Reward: You have received a Platinum Fan Box!
Note: Voting is now enabled on this box’s prize. Box will become available in 30 hours.
New Achievement! The early bird gets to squirm!
You went down a set of stairs more than six hours prior to the level’s collapse.
Reward: Doing this is kind of like leaving a party much too early. It makes you look like a dick. No reward for you.
<Error> Reward and achievement removed by Syndicate Court Order.
New Achievement! Cuck Aquaman!
You got fucked by a fish. You’ve done something so spectacularly controversial, courts and lawyers had to get involved. The end result was *my* decision being overturned.
Reward: You’ve received a Platinum It’s Not My Fault You Fish-Headed Assholes Don’t Properly Program Your Quests Box.
“Uh, Mordecai?” I said.
I described that last achievement using our chat feature. I’d recently discovered I could mentally copy items in my notifications and paste them into chat. I had a scratchpad where I could paste and keep items and write notes. The whole thing was just getting longer and longer with information.
Mordecai laughed out loud after I showed him the achievement. His throat pouch inflated and dispersed air with glee. The sight was disconcerting.
Mordecai: the AI is given the discretionary ability to award certain types of superfluous achievements and awards up to Platinum. Don’t think the system is getting soft on you. This is not too unusual. The AI running the game almost always obtains a bit of a personality and an attitude, especially near the end. When their decisions get countermanded by the court, it tends to break something in their virtual minds. They usually act out by doing something like this. But normally the veto comes much later in the game. I don’t know what sort of effect this is going to have. Just open the box, accept the prize, and don’t mention it again out loud. I’m sure Borant expected this when they issued that veto, and they won’t hold it against you. I just looked and Donut got the same prize. I’m guessing everyone who got shafted by the decision received it.
We’d gotten robbed of a Celestial quest box, but Donut and I still had two silver quest boxes from the prostitute quest and from that Cockblock achievement. At the same time I had received a Platinum Tyrant’s Box plus a Bronze Assassin’s box, which I’d gotten for becoming the town’s new magistrate. Plus I had that Bronze Boss box from killing Quill and a mess of other loot packs, mostly bronze and silver adventurer’s boxes.
Looking at the list, I no longer felt as if we’d been screwed over. Almost all of these prizes were a result of that quest.
“I’m going in,” I said. The next table over, Katia was digging into her own loot.
The adventurer’s boxes didn’t hold anything new or exciting. Potions, potions, bandages—which I never used, random clothing items and unenchanted weapons that we would sell. A couple hundred coins.
The bronze assassin box contained a pair of Quiet Slippers, which I wouldn’t be able to wear plus a mess of antidote potions I didn’t need unless I wasn’t wearing my Nightgaunt Cloak.
The boss box contained a magical tome for a spell called Bang Bro. I set it aside to read later.
My two silver quest boxes each contained 1,000 gold coins and a group of scrolls. One contained three Confusing Fog scrolls, which I liked much better than just smoke bombs. The scrolls had saved us multiple times, but I’d been out of them for a while. The other contained three Heal scrolls, which were also useful in healing others without having to resort to pouring potions down their throats.
I received more sticks of dynamite from some random boxes before we got to the good stuff.
The first, the Platinum Tyrant’s Box contained 10,000 gold and a necklace. The necklace was a simple, silver-colored chain with a quarter-sized charm at the end. A tiny, yellow jewel was encrusted in the charm. I quickly examined it before I moved to the next box.
Enchanted Necklace of the Haute Bourgeoisie
The second smallest of the chains of leadership, it is still considered a great honor to be the custodian of this burden. Each jewel encrusted upon this charm represents a settlement owned and controlled by the bearer. If one still maintains a settlement’s jewel upon the collapse of the level, the holder of this necklace will permanently receive a tax stipend every ten days from that settlement based on size and population. In addition, each gem will impart additional benefits based on the town.
In order to upgrade this necklace, one must first conquer a Large-sized Settlement. Upgraded necklaces will also upgrade all existing gems.
One Attached Gem:
Poor Sapphire. Medium Skyfowl Settlement (Third Floor).
+5 to Dexterity.
+Talon Strike (Level 5)
Taxes received: 432 Gold every 10 days.
May you be a kind and just leader.
“Oh wow,” I said, putting it aside. “Cool.” I guessed that explained why the others didn’t recognize me as the town’s leader. I probably had to first put the necklace on.
The AI’s special box opened next. It was just seven slips of paper. I laughed out loud at the prizes.
Coupon for a free Personal Space, upgraded to level three.
Coupon for a free tier one environmental upgrade. (x2)
Coupon for a free tier one crafting table. (x2)
Coupon for a table upgrade. (x2)
Over at the counter, Donut had talked Wendita down to 38,000 gold. The two continued to dance back and forth. I saw Katia had received the same coupons. She had one in her hand, her eyes glossy, which I recognized as her talking directly in chat, probably to Hekla. I nodded at Mordecai and slid the coupons over to show him.
“Holy wow,” he said. He had to sit down. He croaked with amusement. He also had an odd look of relief on his face.
“So these are good?”
Mordecai: This is a bigger fuck you to the showrunners than I thought the AI could pull off. Honestly, this is probably almost as good as a celestial upgrade. A level three space is expensive but allows for each crawler to have their own room complete with their own upgrades. And if you gather a new teammate who already has a space, you’ll be able to conjoin the rooms and combine the upgrades. It also allows me to bring my own room over. No more unexpected teleporting, thank the gods.
Carclass="underline" How is this a fuck you to the boss people?
Mordecai: All of those upgrades are really expensive, so in addition to the loss of income from the acquisitions—they get a small cut of all dungeon purchases—it’s a tradition for your sponsors to make you buy your own safe space but to then buy you some upgrades in your first loot box. By preempting the sponsors, the AI is giving you a leg up and is saving your future sponsors a lot of money. I mean a lot, thus freeing them up to give you better stuff.
Carclass="underline" Katia got the same coupons. I’m thinking she’s going to save them for Hekla.