I picked up the large shield to examine it. It was absurdly light.
Enchanted Shade Gnoll Riot Forces Crowd Control Shield.
Sometimes the galaxy isn’t a happy place. Sometimes the unwashed masses forget their place in the machine. And sometimes these dregs bubble up to the surface, causing a phenomenon widely known as “Civil Unrest.”
And when that happens, the powers that be don’t want to become the powers that were. So they hire backup. An outside force to come down and kick everything back into order, and maybe commit a few war crimes in the process just so the filth knows their place. One such outfit, trained specifically for this sort of situation, is the Shade Gnoll Riot Forces.
This enchanted shield offers both offensive and defensive crowd control options. A frontline defender utilizing this item is afforded the following benefits:
+5% to Constitution.
+5 to the Rooted in Place Skill
+Upgrades Rush ability to Crowd Blast.
Warning: You may not equip this item. The Rush ability is required to equip this item.
I immediately looked at Crowd Blast, the enhanced Rush ability. This was the same battering ram skill Katia had used to kill Hekla. She could only use it once a day. Crowd Blast had two huge differences. She still rushed forward, causing a ton of damage. But now everybody in a wide cone in front of her were also hit with the attack. The bulk of the damage was still from whatever she physically hit, but everything in the cone took 10-20% of the damage. The fact she’d managed to kill Hekla with the regular version of this skill meant this upgraded version packed a serious punch. Even those monsters not directly hit by it would take major damage. With her wrestling belt bonus, it would be the equivalent of hitting someone with, well, a monster truck.
But more importantly, she could now use the ability once every five minutes. Not once a day.
“It looks like you’ll be getting more practice in with that Rush attack,” I said as I looked up Rooted in Place. She made a noncommittal grunt.
Rooted in Place
This skill makes it much more difficult to knock you over or back. That’s not necessarily a good thing, physics being what they are. Be careful with this one.
“Interesting,” I said, moving to the baton.
Enchanted Shade Gnoll Riot Forces Telescoping Crowd Control Baton.
This enchanted truncheon is designed to crack skulls and to teach those ungrateful bastards to show some got-damned respect.
This item’s length is adjustable, from 25 centimeters to 3 meters.
Automatically casts Level-five Cone of Knockback if swung at a group of 10 or more like mobs. This triggers only once every five minutes.
“Those are both pretty awesome,” I said. “Especially the shield. I’m kind of worried about the wording on that rooted in place skill, but Crowd Blast is exactly what you needed.”
“I can’t tell if people were trolling me with this or not,” Katia said. “People know I hate using Rush.”
“It’s not very thrilling,” Donut agreed. “This is like getting an electric litterbox for your birthday. Indeed it’s useful. But it’s a litterbox for goodness sake. I was hoping for something with a little more pizazz.”
“First off, that’s what Bea asked for,” I said. “I don’t understand how someone can get pissed for receiving what they asked for. Second, that thing was like 300 bucks. Anyway, Katia, this is definitely a good thing. Troll or not, you’re getting more and more powerful. Mordecai said he got a sex toy in his first fan box.”
“Did you really buy your girlfriend a litterbox for her birthday?”
“He did,” Donut said. “Miss Beatrice was quite rightfully upset.”
Katia laughed as she attempted to equip the large shield. She frowned after a moment. “I guess I don’t need this anymore,” she said. “It doesn’t let me equip both at the same time.” She removed an item from her left wrist and placed it on the table. “You should take it. You need a shield anyway.”
I picked up the wrist bracer. It looked similar to the bracer I had on my right wrist, the one that allowed me to form my gauntlet. I’d forgotten she’d had this thing. She pretty much only used it to increase her mass.
Enchanted Auto Buckler of the Peach Pit
Forms a metallic buckler on command. May be triggered via hotlist or by shaking your wrist like you’re thinking of your hot Aunt Lydia.
This item is enchanted with Shatter. Any attack that lands upon this shield has a 1.5% chance to disarm the opponent. If the opponent is disarmed, there is a 90% chance the item will drop to the ground, a 5% chance the weapon will break, and a 5% chance the weapon will be immediately transferred to your own inventory.
“Hey, this is cool,” I said. I put it on. I had to slide it over the arm of my jacket. I experimented making it appear. I could twist my wrist, and the small shield would pop into place. I could shake it in a similar way, and it’d disappear. “Thanks!”
“Much better than a litterbox,” Donut said.
Katia nodded, attention already on the next box. The benefactor box. “Okay. We ready?”
“Do you think it’ll be something bad?” Donut asked.
“We don’t get cursed items from boxes,” I said. “Let’s just see what it is.”
Soon after Katia had been sponsored by the Princess Formidable, the youngest sister of Prince Maestro and Crown Prince Stalwart of the Skull Empire, we explained to her everything we knew about the psychotic orc family. Maestro was dead along with the mom. Stalwart was in the dungeon, presumably walking around in the skin of the war god Grull. King Rust was supposedly in the dungeon, too, though we didn’t know where. I still wasn’t clear on how levels 6, 9, 12, 15, and 18 worked. Mordecai always told us to not worry about them until we got there.
We also didn’t know how the sister factored into all of this. If her brother was out of the way, I knew she’d become the heir apparent. But how close was she to her brother? In books and movies royalty were always murder hoboing each other in order to gain power. But since we knew literally nothing about Princess Formidable other than the fact she existed, there was no way to predict what sort of item Katia would receive.
Katia opened the box. We silently watched the single, small item appear. Katia picked it up, saying nothing. She examined it and passed it to me.
It was a crossbow bolt. She’d only received one.
The Bolt of Ophiotaurus
This is 1 of 100.
This item acts as a regular crossbow bolt unless it is shot directly into the eye of a deity.
Upon a successful strike to the god’s eye, the deity’s invulnerability pauses for fifteen seconds.
“Well, shit,” I said. “I’m starting to think the sister isn’t a huge fan of her big brother.”
We had time to take showers before the show started, but that was it. Mordecai would return right after the show finished airing, and then we’d all need to take two hours to sleep.
The recap featured a montage of people setting up and fighting in a wide array of stairwell stations. We watched as a group of twenty people stupidly faced off against a station 48 boss. The monster, a hulking conglomeration of screaming, gnashing ghouls made short work of the crawlers. It formed a giant pincer made of ghoul body parts and gathered the crawlers up. Mouths formed on the interior of the claw and devoured the crawlers as it crushed them. They all died screaming.