"Adam," I say, aiming mine at Benjy, but more shakily.
"What?"
"We can't. They're just kids."
"Yeah," says Benjy. "It's not fair."
He begins to cry. Then Michael starts crying, too.
"You said you were going to get us some sweets," says Benjy. "But instead you're going to hurt us. You're just like all grown-ups. I hate you."
I notice they don't say kill. And I remember what Apollo Smintheus said. Nothing can be killed in the Troposphere. So how are we ever going to get rid of these kids? And why is Adam here? I don't understand anything about what's going on.
"Do you want some sweets instead?" Adam asks, lowering the gun.
Michael's lip is trembling. "Yes," he says. "Yes, please."
"Me, too," says Benjy. "Me, too."
Michael is now wringing his hands together. Benjy seems unable to stand still. He's jiggling about like a toddler who wants to go to the toilet.
"OK. Well, don't eat them all at once," says Adam.
He walks over and hands Michael the white bag.
"Share them," he says, as Michael immediately dips his hand into the bag.
"Ow, get off," says Michael, as Benjy tries to force his hand in at the same time.
"Boys," says Adam.
They both manage to take a fistful of pink, yellow, and green sweets from the bag. They stuff them into their mouths until their faces look so inflated they might burst.
"Why are you giving them sweets?" I ask Adam.
"Watch," he says.
As the boys eat the sweets, they seem to fade, slightly. At first I think I might have something in my eyes, and so I rub them. But of course your eyes can't go wrong in here. They boys really are dissolving into the landscape.
"They're disappearing," I say.
"They're on the way to God," Adam says. "The guns would have done the same thing. They're just, um..."
"Metaphors," I say. "Like everything in here."
"Yeah."
The boys have now almost completely disappeared. Another minute passes and they've gone, and all that's left is the empty white paper bag.
"What exactly is God going to do to them?" I ask.
"Free them," Adam says. "Make them properly dead."
"Can God do that?" I ask.
Adam nods. "He may not have created everything, but He's good as a manager."
I laugh. "That sounds like the kind of thing you'd read on one of those fluorescent posters they have outside churches."
"Yeah, well," says Adam, laughing, too.
And then I realize: We're together, alone, in the Troposphere. Adam is actually here. Or at least, it certainly seems that way.
"Adam," I say softly.
He walks closer to me. So much for not feeling anything in the Troposphere. The syrupy feeling intensifies to a point where it's almost uncomfortable, but only in the sense that an orgasm is uncomfortable. And everything in me seems to slow down. This doesn't feel like it would in the physical world: There's no racing pulse; no sweaty hands. My body feels like a misty landscape, melting into its sky.
"Ariel," he says.
We put the weapons down and embrace. It feels as though a million years pass, with us standing like this.
"I found the book," he whispers. "And this vial of liquid. I came to find you."
"How did you find me?" I ask. "The Project Starlight men couldn't do it. I thought I covered my tracks quite well. I..."
"Shhhh," he says, into my hair.
"Really," I say. "I have to know. Did God help you?"
"No. God doesn't approve of what we're doing."
"Then...?"
"The mouse god. Apollo Smintheus. He said he'd show me where to find you. But those boys seemed to want to tag along as well, and everywhere we went, they went, too. I thought I'd be able to do something about them before you came back in and opened up the gateway. I was almost too late."
"What do you mean?" I say. "What gateway?"
"They can only get into your mind by themselves when you're actually in here. Otherwise they have to go with Ed and Martin. You know that already, but you've probably forgotten."
"So you've been inside my mind," I say. It's not a question. I know the answer.
"Yes. But you bounced me out when you first went into the church. But I just jumped back in when you left the church. I just waited in the Troposphere in between."
"How did you find the book?" I ask.
"I dreamed it," he says. "I dreamed everything."
"What?" I say. "What do you mean?"
"Just that," he says. "I dreamed you putting it in the bookcase, and I dreamed you accidentally letting the vial roll out of your bag under the bed. Later, when I was in your mind, I saw it all again, like déjà vu."
"Oh...," I say. I'm not exactly sure what I want to say next. "So..."
I don't want to let go of Adam, but I do.
"Have you seen Apollo Smintheus?" he asks me.
"No," I say.
"I don't know what happened to him. He was supposed to be watching out for those KIDS."
"His mouse hole is just there," I say, and we walk towards it.
And inside me two things are happening. One is that my whole body feels like a smile. I'm not alone in here anymore. I can actually talk to someone. Not just that: The someone I can talk to is Adam, the person I thought I'd never see again, and the person I think I love. But the smile keeps warping into a question mark. And I can't bear to ask, or even think about it. How long has he been in here?
Chapter Twenty-six
Apollo Smintheus is tied to a chair, and he looks very pissed off.
"Oh, thank you," he says, when we untie him.
He stands up, sways a little, and then sits back down again.
"Oh," he says. "Those little brutes."
"They've gone now," I say. "Well, I think they have."
"And you two are reunited," he says.
I'm wondering whether Apollo Smintheus has told Adam about the dangers of staying in here too long: whether he's shown him a screen of himself in the physical world, like he did with me. Where is Adam's body? Is it still in the priory? I wonder if anyone has found him and saved him. I remember those images of Apollo Smintheus in my dreams: You owe me. You owe me. And I wonder if it was Apollo Smintheus who got into Adam's dreams, and why he wanted him to come in here as well.
It's a horrible thought, but for a second I imagine that it's a punishment: because I took my time coming back; because I haven't yet completed his mission.
"Where's the address?" I ask him. "I need to know how to get to Abbie Lathrop."
"Don't you want coffee first?" he asks.
"No. I just want to go. I'm going to see Adam back to the physical world, and then I'm going to go straight off and do this. I don't have much time."
Apollo Smintheus seems to narrow his eyes slightly.
But Adam's quicker to speak. "I'm coming with you," he says to me.
"You can't," I say. "Don't you know...?"
"Know what?"
I look at Apollo Smintheus, who doesn't seem to want to catch my eye. Then I look at Adam again. His big eyes are as warm and clear as a midsummer morning. They're so deep, I think again. But here they don't look like fossils from the past, they just look like a promise of the future.
But what do his eyes look like in the physical world? I think.
"You're not supposed to stay in here too long," I say.
"Did I not mention that...?" Apollo Smintheus says.
Adam looks at me. "I've been in your mind, Ariel," he says. "And, on the way back to your mind, Saul Burlem's and Lura's. I know everything."
"But..."
His eyes leave mine. "I wasn't going to talk about this now."
"Talk about what?"
"I think it's already too late. There was a very big storm yesterday. Apollo Smintheus said that when you get weather in the Troposphere..." But I'm not listening properly. Why didn't Apollo Smintheus save Adam? Why didn't he tell him to go back?