‘If that was your plan you would already have done so.’
‘Very true,’ he said with a half smile, ‘but I’m not into revenge. It has a nasty habit of biting you back when you least expect it. I have a feeling that punishing you would upset the delicate Good–Bad balance.’
Most sorcerers believed in what they called ‘The Balance’. Simply put, all life requires equilibrium to survive. For every death there is birth, for every light there is dark, for every ugliness there is something that shines with the greatest lustre. And for every truly heinous act, there are always multiple good acts to compensate. It’s why evil despots are always defeated, and why a truly awful reality TV show can never go on for ever.
Shandar looked at the clipboard for a moment, signed something, then continued to read while he spoke to me. Someone as powerful as Shandar would be able to read two books and converse with three people at the same time – even in different languages.
‘You seem a resourceful young lady, Jennifer. I’m not often beaten, and the experience has renewed a sense of excitement that I have not felt for a long time. You appreciate that I have almost unlimited power at my disposal?’
‘I know that, sir, yes.’
‘Are we sure about this?’ asked the Mighty Shandar, pointing to a clause in one of the notes he was looking at.
‘Yes, sir,’ replied D’argento. ‘They want the state of Hawaii moved to the middle of the Pacific.’
‘I thought it was fine between Wyoming and Arkansas.’
‘The venerable Lord Jack of Hawaii said the move is on account of the climate – and they want to retrofit the collective memory so everyone thinks it’s always been there.’
‘Standard stuff,’ said Shandar, signing the contract, ‘and they didn’t quibble over the price?’
‘Not a murmur.’
He sighed and shook his head.
‘Where have all the good negotiators gone?’
‘Two minutes gone,’ said Miss D’argento, consulting her stopwatch.
‘So with my power almost unimaginable right now,’ he continued, turning back to me, ‘your friends the Dragons are easily exterminated. Take it from me that I could – and would – destroy them in a twinkling, thus completing the contract and avoiding a refund.’
‘Then you will take on the might of Kazam as well, Mighty Shandar,’ I said, ‘for we will do anything to prevent you harming a single scale of a Dragon.’
It was a bold speech, and I felt myself shiver in fear of how he might react. He appeared not to hear me at first and spoke again to his agent.
‘We’re not doing this,’ he announced quietly as he handed an unsigned contract back to Miss D’argento. ‘There are quite enough boy bands on the planet as it is.’
He turned back to me.
‘The combined power of your sorcerers would not equal a thousandth of my power,’ he said.
‘I know that,’ I replied, ‘and so do they. But it would not stop them. They would all die defending one of their own, and the Dragons, masters of the magical arts themselves, are one of us.’
The Mighty Shandar regarded me thoughtfully. I’d not consulted the sorcerers on any of this, but I knew them well enough, and so did he.
‘Then I have a proposition for you, Miss Strange. Are you listening?’
‘I’m listening.’
‘As you can see, my time is strictly rationed. I have no spare time to search for rare and exotic trinkets to add to my collection of Wonderful Things. Miss D’argento is too busy with managing my affairs, and drones are all very well for heavy lifting and the odd senseless act of violence, but they have no finesse. So: find something for me and I’ll leave the Dragons alone and take the indignity on the chin.’
‘I’m still listening,’ I said. ‘What do you want me to find?’
‘A magnificent pink ruby the size of a goose’s egg. It belonged to a wizard I admire greatly. You can find me … the Eye of Zoltar.’
‘That’s a tall order,’ I said, having absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but keeping that to myself. It didn’t pay to look an idiot in Shandar’s presence.
‘One minute to go,’ said Miss D’angelo, consulting her stopwatch.
‘Do we have a deal?’ asked Shandar.
I didn’t need to think for long. If I didn’t agree to find this ‘Eye of Zoltar’ then Shandar would attempt to kill the Dragons, and we would be honour bound to try to stop him, and that would end in our collective annihilation.
‘I’ll find you the Eye of Zoltar,’ I said, ‘whatever it takes.’
‘Good choice,’ said Shandar with a grin. ‘I knew you’d agree.’
‘Any clue as to where it is?’ I asked. ‘The world is a big place.’
‘If I knew where it was,’ snapped Shandar, ‘I’d get it myself.’
Since the meeting was clearly at an end, I returned to where the Princess and Tiger were waiting for me. From the Bugatti Royale we watched as Shandar talked quietly with D’argento, signed some more forms and eventually, when his four minutes were up, changed rapidly back into obsidian.
The drones quickly crated him up, and the forklift reappeared and placed the crate back into the rear of the cargo aircraft. Once that was done a clothes rail that had been standing unnoticed to one side was approached by the drones, and they deftly jumped back on to their coat hangers, the empty suits returning to what they had been – creatures given life only by the will of Shandar. The human manservant wheeled the clothes rail into the back of the aircraft, swiftly followed by Miss D’argento in the Phantom Twelve. A minute later the rear cargo door was closed, and the engines started up. By this time tomorrow they could be anywhere on the planet.
I tapped the Helping Hand™ to bring it out of sleep mode and it dutifully pulled the wheel around and we drove out of the hangar. We paused on the perimeter track to watch Shandar’s aircraft lumber almost impossibly into the sky with its tiny wings, then headed towards Zambini Towers.
‘The Eye of Zoltar?’ said Tiger when I’d finished relating what Shandar had said. ‘What on earth’s that?’
‘I’ve no idea. The person to consult is someone with a clearer idea of what the future might bring.’
‘I’m no clairvoyant,’ said Tiger, ‘but I think I know who you mean.’
The Remarkable Kevin Zipp
The Remarkable Kevin Zipp was one of Kazam’s most accomplished clairvoyants. When we walked back into the offices at Kazam he was checking out baby futures. Not in a stocks and shares kind of way, obviously, but what a baby’s life had in store for them. It was a good way to earn ready cash, as Kazam was constantly short of money. Two mothers had their tots with them, and Kevin was checking each by holding on to their left foot for a moment.
‘If she wants to go out with someone named Geoff when she’s sixteen,’ he said as the first mother stared at him anxiously, ‘try to get her to go out with Nigel instead.’
‘There’s a problem with Geoff?’
‘No, there’s a problem with Nigel. Ban Geoff from her life and he’ll become unbelievably attractive and she’ll forget all about Nigel, and believe me, she needs to. Nigel is big trouble.’
‘How big?’
‘Really big.’
‘Okay. Anything else?’
‘Not really – although you might consider joining the National Trust and holidaying in Wales. It’s quite nice, I’m told, and not always raining.’
‘Oh. Well, thank you very much,’ said the mother. She handed Kevin a ten-moolah note and moved off. The second mother presented her baby to Kevin, who once again held the baby’s foot. He closed his eyes and rocked slowly in his chair for a moment.
‘This is preposterous,’ said the Princess. ‘I’ve never seen a more ridiculous load of mumbo-jumbo in my entire life!’