‘Ever meet him?’ I asked.
‘Only once,’ chuckled the gravedigger, ‘but he was in no mood for talkin’.’
‘You know how he died?’
‘Some say it were the grass what killed him.’
I sighed. Gravediggers always spoke in dark riddles. As a student at gravedigger college you’d have to master the art of random quirky banter before they’d even let you touch a spade.
‘The grass?’ I asked.
‘Aye. Was all grass around here when he arrived, and he wasn’t brought here by the undertaker, and we didn’t dig his grave, neither.’
‘Then who did?’
‘He done dig it hisself. He done everythin’ hisself ’cept read the sermon. Delivered hisself he did, then dug his own grave.’
Perkins and I looked at one another.
‘So what you’re saying,’ I said slowly, ‘is that he walked in alive, dug his own grave and was then laid into it?’
‘Sort of,’ said the gravedigger, ‘only he didn’t walk in here, and wasn’t put into the grave. Came in fast he did and buried isself quicker than a sneeze. Heard him the other side of the yard.’
Perkins was becoming exasperated too.
‘If I give you some money,’ he said, speaking very slowly and firmly, ‘would you tell us what the blue blazes you’re talking about?’
The gravedigger wagged his finger and laughed again.
‘Okay,’ I said, ‘I’ve almost got this. He arrived in a hurry but not from the entrances, and buried himself in almost no time at all while making a loud noise?’
‘Aye,’ said the gravedigger, disappointed at our failure to understand him, ‘and you’ll get nothing further from me, not till you’ve learned some smarts.’
The gravedigger turned to walk away, but Perkins called after him.
‘Did you just … backfill over him after he landed?’
The gravedigger stopped, then turned slowly to face us. His eyes twinkled and he very purposefully looked upwards. I didn’t need to follow his gaze; I knew what he meant. Able Quizzler had arrived in the graveyard not by walking, but by falling, and if he hit the grass hard enough to bury himself, it was from a great height.
‘From a Leviathan, do you suppose?’ I asked.
‘No other explanation,’ said Perkins, ‘and Leviathans lead us on to Sky Pirate Wolff, and from there we get to the Eye of Zoltar – or do we?’
‘Sadly, no,’ I said after a moment’s thought. ‘We just get to Able Quizzler hitching a ride on a Leviathan. Ralph would have suffered the same fate – only I don’t think he had the good luck to fall into a graveyard.’
I stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. I would risk all our lives if there was evidence of the Eye of Zoltar, but not for evidence of a Leviathan. This was a magic expedition, not one in pursuit of an endangered species, fascinating though that might be.
‘Right,’ I said, finally coming to a decision, ‘once we’ve got the Princess back we’re moving on to Cambrianopolis to negotiate for Boo’s release. My brief was to find evidence of the Eye. We don’t have any so I’m pulling the plug.’
‘Shame,’ said Perkins. ‘I was looking forward to climbing Cadair Idris and facing off all those terrors. jeopardy tourism has kind of grown on me.’
‘Well, it’s not growing on me,’ I said. ‘Come on.’
We walked back towards the entrance to the graveyard after giving the gravedigger a tip. We had almost reached the entrance when Perkins stopped.
‘Jennifer?’ he said.
‘Yes?’
‘I was just thinking. I mean, is it even possible for someone to bury themselves falling from a great height?’
‘What’s your point?’ I asked.
‘I’m thinking perhaps you’d only leave a dent in the ground, if that. Unless …’
‘Unless what?’
‘Unless you were made of something much, much heavier.’
‘Like … lead?’
Able Quizzler must indeed have come into contact with the Eye of Zoltar. But far from it giving him the power he craved, he had instead been changed to lead, the fate of anyone unskilled who tried to tap its massive powers. He would have been on a Leviathan when it happened, too, and once lead he would simply have toppled off. Being changed to lead wasn’t a great way to go, but probably quick.
‘Well,’ I said, ‘Kevin was right about the Eye. Looks like we’re heading north after all.’
The fast-track trial
We all reconvened at Mrs Timpson’s Battlement Viewing Tea Rooms situated atop the town walls, which, as its name suggested, afforded the many railway and military enthusiasts drawn to Llangurig a clear view of the battles below. We were there for a more culinary reason: Mrs Timpson’s was reputedly the best tea rooms in Llangurig, and I wanted at least to savour one last excellent scone, jam and clotted cream before we headed north.
‘… even if this only shows the Eye of Zoltar was here six years ago, I’m for going on,’ I concluded, ‘but if anyone wants out, I understand.’
‘I’ve got something to add before you all get too excited,’ said Addie. ‘I made a few enquiries and everyone who has ventured towards Cadair Idris to look for Sky Pirate Wolff or the Leviathans’ Graveyard has vanished without trace.’
‘How many?’
‘Fifteen expeditions, two hundred and sixty people,’ said Addie. ‘A hundred per cent fatality rate, and that’s weird. Even the most hideously dangerous undertaking leaves someone.’
‘The Mountain Silurians?’ I asked. ‘They’re pretty unpleasant.’
‘Unpleasant but not gratuitously murderous,’ replied Addie. ‘They let people travel across their territory so long as they get paid in goats. No, I think there’s something else. Something we don’t know about – a hidden menace waiting for us out there at the mountain. Still want to go there?’
We all exchanged glances.
‘You can only be talking to me,’ said Wilson with a smile, ‘because Addie we know would sooner accept death than dishonour her profession by baling out, and Perkins is as loyal and as unswerving as any man I have ever known.’
Addie and Perkins nodded their agreement at the assessment.
‘As for me,’ said Wilson, ‘that brush with the Cloud Leviathan has really got my ornithological blood racing. Okay, it’s not a bird, but the notion of lighter-than-air flight in the animal kingdom is the scientific discovery of the century. I’ll be on the cover of National Geographic, so long as that woman with the gorillas hasn’t done anything exciting that month. Listen, wild Buzonjis wouldn’t keep me from this part of the expedition.’
I thanked them all, and asked how everyone had done since we last met. The short answer was ‘not very well’. Addie had found us transport in the guise of a battered jeep that was now waiting for us fuelled and oiled at the North Gate.
‘The jeep is a bit clapped out,’ said Addie, ‘but it should get us to Cadair Idris. I’ve also got eight goats in a trailer to barter safe passage with the Mountain Silurians.’
‘Good. Mr Wilson?’
Wilson explained that he had tried a small test bribe on the clerk of the court but was simply met with stony defiance.
‘I then went and told Judge Gripper O’Rourke that Laura was a princess.’
‘How did that work out?’
‘The judge laughed and told me that “everyone tried that” and “to come up with something a little more imaginative”.’
‘I could try magic to spring her,’ said Perkins, ‘but this is a tricky one. I’ve never used it against the accepted rule of law and … and that might cause some morality blowback.’
‘Some what?’ asked Wilson.