Sometimes.
Only sometimes?
Okay, most of the time.
He was silent, waiting.
When Bonnie was born, she wasnt like me or Mom or anyone. She was justhellip; herself. All completehellip; and wonderful. How could that be if youre not born with a soul?
And that soul is eternal?
How do I know? Ihellip; think so. I hope so.
Then why are you so passionate about returning those bones to their families? It shouldnt make any difference.
It makes a difference to me.
Why?
Life is important. Life should be treated with re-spect, not tossed away like some useless bit of trash. There should be a hellip; home for everyone. I never had a real home when I was a kid. We moved from tene-ment to tenement. Motel to motel. Mom was It wasnt her fault. But everyone should have a place, a permanent place in the scheme of things. I tried to give Bonnie a home, the best home I could manage, where I could love her and take care of her. When Fraser killed her, I had nightmares about her lying in the forest for the animals to She was silent a mo-ment and her voice was uneven when she spoke again. I wanted her home, where I could take care of her as I always had. Hed taken her life, I didnt want him to take that last bit of caring away from either of us.
I see. Christ, he was seeing more than he wanted to see. Do you still have nightmares?
She was silent again and then she said, No, not nightmares. She swung her legs out of the water and onto the pier. Im going inside. She picked up her sandals and rose to her feet. If your curiosity is satis-fied, Logan.
Not entirely. But youre evidently not going to confide anything else to me.
Youve got that right. She looked down at him. And dont think youve made any headway with this cozy chat. I havent told you anything I wouldnt tell anyone else. Joe and I agreed that it was healthiest for me to talk about Bonnie.
We need to talk about Chadbourne.
No, we dont. Not tonight.
She walked away from him.
Tough lady. Exceptional lady.
He watched her start up the steps of the beach house. The light pouring through the windows shim-mered on her red-brown hair and silhouetted her slim, strong body.
Strong but vulnerable. That body could be hurt and broken and destroyed.
And he could very well be responsible for just that happening.
Maybe trying to reconnect with her hadnt been such a good idea. She had walked away as strong and independent as ever, and he was the one feeling uncertain.
And, yes, perhaps even a little vulnerable.
Ive been thinking, Lisa, Kevin murmured in her ear. Maybe we should What do you think about a baby.
Oh, good God. A child?
He got up on one elbow and gazed down at her. A child would be very popular. Everyone loves kids. If we started now, it would be born right after my next term starts. He hesitated. And Idhellip; like it.
She reached up and stroked his cheek. Do you think I wouldnt? she asked softly. Nothing would please me more. Ive always wanted a child. But its not possible.
Why? You said Chadbourne couldnt have chil-dren, but we can take care of that now.
Im forty-five years old, Kevin.
But there are all those fertility drugs now.
For a moment she was actually tempted. She had spoken the truth; she had always wanted a child. She and Ben had tried so hard to conceive. She remembered him joking and saying what an advantage kids were to any politician, but that was one time she hadnt cared about political advan-tage. Shed wanted someone of her own, someone to belong to her.
Forget it. Impossible. The tears that filled her eyes werent totally for Kevins benefit. Dont talk about it. It hurts me that we cant do it.
Why cant we?
It would be too difficult. There could be all kinds of problems for a woman my age. What if the doctor decided I had to have complete bed rest for the last months of pregnancy? That happens sometimes, and I wouldnt be able to travel with you during the campaign. That could be dangerous for us.
But youre so strong and healthy, Lisa.
He must have been brooding about this for a long time to be this persistent. It would be a risk we shouldnt take. She pushed the one button she knew would stop him cold. Of course, we could give up our plans for another term. But youre such a wonderful president, everyone admires and respects you. Do you want to give all that up?
He was silent. Youre sure it would be that risky?
He was already relinquishing the idea, as shed known he would. No way would he go back to ano-nymity after the power and respect hed become ac-customed to. Right now is just the wrong time. Im not saying we couldnt consider it later. She stroked his lower lip with a forefinger. But do you know how touched I am that you think so much of me? Id love nothing better than to
The phone on the bedside table rang, and she reached over to pick it up.
The bodys arrived at Bethesda, Timwick said.
The body. Cold. Impersonal. Thats how she should view it too. Thats how she had to view it. Excellent.
Have you managed to contact Maren?
Hes somewhere out in the desert. Ill have to try again.
We dont have much time.
I said Ill take care of it.
The media is crawling all over the hospital. Should we start it in motion?
No, let them speculate and then pop the story on them in the morning. We want them hungry enough to jump on any tidbit of information. She hung up.
Timwick? Kevin asked.
She nodded absently, her mind still on Bethesda.
I dont like the bastard. Do we still need him?
Be a little grateful, she said teasingly. Hes the one who discovered you.
He always treats me like a stupid ass.
Not in public?
He shook his head.
Well, maybe you wont have to see much of him. Ive been thinking you should give him an ambas-sadors post. Maybe in Zaire. After all, you are the president.
He laughed delightedly. Zaire.
She got up and slipped on her robe. Or Moscow. Its supposed to be very uncomfortable in Moscow.
But you promised him the vice presidency next term. Well have to name him as my running mate at the convention. He grimaced. Hes not going to give that up.
No, the vice presidency was the only carrot that had drawn Timwick into the plan. Hed been bitterly disappointed that Ben had not given him a cabinet post, and Lisa had never seen a more ambitious man. A hunger that intense could pose future problems for her, but she couldnt worry about Timwick now. Maybe we can think of a way of getting around it.
It would really be better if we can keep Chet Mobry as vice president. He hasnt caused us any trouble.
He could have caused us big trouble if we hadnt kept him on the road with nonstop goodwill missions. He never agreed with our policies. We could do the same with Timwick.
I guess so, but hes been Where are you going?
I have a little work to take care of. Go to sleep.
Is that why Timwick called you? He frowned. You never tell me what youre doing.
Because its only small, unimportant details. You take care of the big picture, I do the little stuff.
His frown disappeared. Youll come back when youre finished?
She nodded. Im only going into the next room to look at a dossier. I want to be prepared for your next meeting with Tony Blair.
He lay back down on the pillows. Hell be a piece of cake after the Japanese.