"But I still like him."
"I know." There was zero judgment in her voice.
"Do you think I’m an idiot?"
"No." She shook her head. "I think you just fell for a guy in a shitty situation."
"And you?" I nodded toward her and prayed that she felt like she could be as honest with me as I was with her.
"I fell for a guy who didn’t want to fall back." She shrugged, and my heart broke from the sadness in her eyes.
I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arm around her side. There was no hesitation as she put her own arm around me. Neither of us spoke for a long time as we just laid there and held each other, and I hadn’t realized how badly I needed this. Just to be held by someone who loved me, by someone I loved.
It made me miss my mom even more, and I buried my head into her shoulder to stop myself from going too far into my head.
It wasn’t until a couple of hours later when her mom woke the two of us up for dinner that we finally let go of each other. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep and neither had Allie, but I felt so much better when I climbed out of her bed.
Because no matter what I would have to face, I knew that I had her.
CHAPTER TEN
BECK
Ihad exactly zero interest in going to this damn gala. I knew it was for a good cause, but the entire thing felt so pretentious and stupid.
If they simply took the money that was put into this damn thing, they could give a lot more to the charity.
But what did I know?
I was dressed in my tux, and my mom messed with the bowtie at least fifteen times before we left the house. I was ready to get this damn thing off.
Frankie was on my arm, and I could feel how nervous she was as we walked into the event. She was dressed in a light pink dress that flowed to the floor, and she looked beautiful.
It was the same damn people that we were used to seeing, but I knew that she felt different now. The fear of their judgment of her was paralyzing, but most of these people had no idea what had happened.
Joseph Vos wasn’t good for much, but he was good at keeping secrets and making sure those around him kept his secrets too.
But I knew that she felt like she wore her truths like a banner, that everyone could see her secrets without her ever saying a word. I knew because she had told me that once. She had let it slip out as she cried and begged my parents not to make her go back to school. That was shortly after everything had happened, and it had broken something inside of me.
"Are we going to dance together?" Her hand tightened around my arm.
I looked down at my beautiful little sister and smiled. "If you think you can keep up with me, then sure."
She rolled her eyes, but I didn’t miss the small smile that formed on her
lips. "I know that you think a lot of yourself, Beck, but has anyone ever told you that you have two left feet?"
"You’re insane. I am perfect." I ran my fingers over my jaw, causing her to snort.
"Of course, you are." She patted my arm like she was talking to a toddler.
"Mom needs to quit feeding your ego."
"It’s not just Mom." I wiggled my eyebrows at her, and she looked like she might slap me.
We followed our parents through the throng of people, most of them clamoring for my father’s attention, until we made it to our table clearly marked with the Clermont name.
The large space was filled with opulent round tables covered in long white linens and expensive china, and there was a small dance floor right at the front of the room, right in front of our table.
Both Carson’s and Olly’s families were seated with us, and I wasn’t surprised. My dad had taught me a long time ago that you should only let a select few people in, and Lucas had instilled that lesson in all of us.
Olly stood as we walked up and quickly pulled a chair out for Frankie before slapping his hand against my shoulder. "Well, don’t you look handsome."
"Fuck off." I rolled my eyes and scoured the room.
"She’s not here."
"Who’s not?" There were dozens and dozens of people already milling about the room, but I didn’t care about any of them.
"I guess it depends on which one you’re looking for, but I haven’t seen Josie or Cami yet."
"Low blow," I growled. He knew where I stood with Cami. He knew exactly what was and wasn’t happening between us.
"I know. I just wanted to get your feathers riled." He laughed, and I rolled my eyes.
"Where’s Carson?" His mom and dad were already seated at the table, but he was nowhere in sight.
"He’s already off chasing some girl he spotted." Olly rolled his eyes and took a seat next to Frankie.
I pulled out the chair on the opposite side of her and unbuttoned my jacket before taking a seat. There was so much chatter around me, but I barely heard a word any of them were saying.
I was too busy running my gaze over every last table to see if Josie was here. I knew that she probably wouldn’t be. Not unless her dad forced her to be, but I hoped that she was.
I hadn’t talked to her since the damn locker room, not that we did much talking, and I couldn’t stop bouncing my leg as I thought about going a whole other day without talking to her. Without seeing her.
"When are you going back to work?" Olly leaned forward and asked from across Frankie.
"Monday. Dad’s giving me my working privileges back finally." Because that was basically the only thing he took from me after the video surfaced.
He said that I wasn’t mature enough to work for his company, and I sure as hell wasn’t mature enough to take over when I needed to. Those words stung like hell, but I knew he was right.
"He’s no longer grounded." Frankie chimed in with a small smile. "And thank God, he’s getting grumpy."
"I am not getting grumpy." I was, but it had nothing to do with my dad or his punishments.
"I think he’s lovesick," Olly teased, and Frankie’s smile became even bigger.
"Are you two done?"
"No," they answered at the same time.
I looked away from them, and I didn’t care that they were going to see me scouring the entire place looking for her. They could call it whatever they wanted. I didn’t care.
The moment I finally found her, every bit of their teasing fell away. I had no idea what either one of them were saying, and I didn’t care. Nothing mattered except for her and how beautiful she looked.
I quickly stood from my seat and almost knocked my chair over in the process.
"Beckham, are you all right?" my mother asked, but I was too lost on her to answer.
I moved around the table and buttoned my jacket as I tried to straighten it out. Josie hadn’t seen me, but God, I could see her. She was the only thing I could see.
She was wearing a cherry-red dress that fit tightly against her chest before flaring at her waist in several layers of ruffles. It was held up by the thinnest of straps that disappeared beneath her softly curled brown hair.
The dress would almost seem girly if it wasn’t for the color and the way Josie’s body filled it out. Her lips were painted the same color red, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I watched them move.
She was standing next to her father and stepmom, and I knew that Lucas had to be close by.
I had no idea where I was going as my feet led me closer and closer to her, but I knew that I couldn’t just sit there and stare at her from across the room. Everyone else could do that. But Josie was mine.
Whether she wanted to be or not, whether she ever wanted to admit it, she was mine, and I refused to just sit back and let the most beautiful girl in the room walk in without being told how gorgeous she was.
It didn’t matter that I could feel her dad’s gaze on me as I approached or that I was sure my own parents were watching my every move. I just needed to talk to her. To hear her voice for a moment.