"I am." He nodded before looking toward the table where the Clermonts sat. "But so is he."
He leaned forward and I leaned back out of instinct. I wasn’t scared of Lucas, but something inside me screamed for me to get away from him. I didn’t fear him, but I didn’t trust him either.
"Beck told me that you were the only person he sent that video to."
Lucas laughed low and humorless, and I felt a few eyes turn our way from the people who shared a table with us. I didn’t know who any of them were. "Of course, he did. That’s exactly what I would say if I was trying to fuck you again."
I scooted my chair back from the table and stood. There was no way in
hell I was going to sit here and listen to another word from his lips. It didn’t matter that what he said was probably the truth.
I searched the room for Allie. I had seen her walking around with a tray of food in her hands earlier, but she had been far too busy to stop and talk to me. But now, she was the only person I wanted.
When I didn’t spot her anywhere in the ballroom, I pushed through the heavy double doors and out onto the small garden that was attached.
I took a deep breath and tried to wash away everything Lucas had just said. There were small lights strung overhead that lit up the small concrete garden from the darkness that surrounded it. There were flowers everywhere, along with a few benches, and a tall ashtray meant for smokers.
I went to the far edge of the garden and looked out over the rail. We were in the middle of the city so there were no grand views here. It was all buildings and concrete and more parking lots than I could count.
But it still felt better than being in there at that damn table.
There were a couple of people milling around. One man was chain-smoking his cigarette like he had been waiting for hours to finally get a hit, and I watched him blow out his smoke over and over as I tried to clear my head.
He didn’t pay one bit of attention to me, but I couldn’t stop watching him until my phone buzzed in my hand.
Where did you go?
It was from Beck, and I knew that I should have never text him to begin with. But I was so shocked when he had walked up to me in front of my dad and told me that I had looked beautiful.
Beck may not have truly known the extent of my father’s dislike for him, but he knew that he didn’t like him, and he simply didn’t care. It shouldn’t have made my heart race or my stomach flip.
Beck wasn’t good for me, but my body didn’t realize that. It didn’t matter how much I repeated that over and over in my head. Nothing else was listening.
I ran away for a bit.
I pressed Send then tucked my phone away. I would be lying if I hadn’t thought about how Beck would react when I picked out this dress. I shouldn’t have even cared, but I did.
Can I find you?
I stared down at his question, and I knew what he meant. He was giving
me the opportunity to tell him that I didn’t want to be found. That I wanted to be alone, and I was so shocked by it, that I could barely respond.
Beck didn’t ask permission for anything.
Since the moment I met him, it was clear that he was the kind of guy who went after what he wanted and didn’t let anything stop him. The fact that he was giving me this choice meant that he was giving me more than he usually allowed, and there was only one answer that I could send back.
Even if I knew I would probably regret it.
Yes.
He didn’t say another word as I sat outside and counted down the minutes. The smoker snubbed out his cigarette and walked back inside, and the couple who were drinking as they spoke left the short rocks glasses on one of the benches as they walked back into the ballroom hand in hand.
The music that was playing inside was filtering out into the garden even if it was much gentler out here. I let my head fall back on my shoulders, and I stared up at the stars as I listened.
I wondered if there were dozens of couples crowding the dance floor at that very moment. If my father was wondering where I was or if he was too busy talking to his business associates like that mattered most in the world.
The music blared through the space, and I knew that someone had just walked through the door. I knew it was Beck before I even raised my head.
When I finally did look his way, he was standing with his back against the wall, and he was watching me with unhindered focus.
I let my hands fall to my sides as I stared back at him, and he was so damn beautiful.
He always was, but tonight in that tux, he looked every bit the man that his father was trying to make him into. He didn’t look like he belonged in high school or anywhere near a girl like me.
He looked handsome and ruthless and so damn dangerous.
I tightened my thighs as his gaze ran over me. He looked so hungry, absolutely ravenous, and I knew that I was the thing he desired.
Beck was bad at so many things, but he had never made me question how much he wanted me. Even after his stupid games of revenge, I knew that his body wanted me regardless of what was going on in his head and in his heart.
He walked toward me slowly, and I could have sworn that he could hear my heartbeat with every step.
He stopped right in front of me and simply held out his hand.
"No one can see us out here." He nodded toward his hand, and I didn’t hesitate as I took it.
He pulled me into his body and quickly twirled me around. I smiled and held onto his shoulders.
"Aren’t you supposed to be schmoozing people in there?" I nodded toward the door, but he didn’t look away from me.
"My dad can handle that. I have my hands full."
"Oh yeah?" I raised an eyebrow at him, and the smile he gave me in return was so lethal that I felt it all the way to my core.
"Yeah. I have some major making up to do." My heart ached at his words.
I wished like crazy that he didn’t need to make up for anything. I wished that he had never done anything to hurt me in the first place.
He knew it too. He lifted my chin with his fingers and brought my eyes back to meet his.
"Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?"
"You did." I nodded and let him move me over the concrete pavers.
"Did I tell you that I was sorry for the locker room?"
My chest felt like it was on fire just at the memory. "Why are you sorry about that?" I would die if he said that he regretted it. To know that he regretted anything with me would hurt me far worse than anything he had ever done before.
Not even that video could hurt me as bad as knowing that he hated what had happened between us.
"Because I didn’t want that to happen until you wanted it to. I feel like I keep fucking this up."
I searched his face for his lies, but I couldn’t find any. I knew that I would be a complete and total fool just to believe the words he said to me, but I wanted to. I wanted to be a fool with him for at least one more night.
"There really isn’t a this, though. There is you; then there is me."
He shook his head, and his hands tightened around my back. "There is definitely a this whether you like it or not."
"So, what? Even if I don’t want this to happen you’re going to force it on me?" I knew it was the wrong choice of words as soon as I said them. His body tensed against mine, and I could have sworn his eyes instantly darkened.
"I would never force you to do anything."